• Welcome! This is a forum for anyone who is affected by a fear of the dentist, dental phobia, or specific dental fears.

    We are lucky to count a number of dentists among our members and moderators. Look out for the "Verified dentist" badges. If you are a dental professional who likes to help, please join our community!

    Register now to access many more features and forums!

so chaotic I could write a book... instead I'll just vent...

2

2young4this

Junior member
Joined
Feb 18, 2018
Messages
2
Agoraphobic, manic depressed and zero control over my anxiety.... mixed in with a little fear of those pain causing special kind of humans... that's me... hi... :) bit of a back story then onto my... ordeal... lost my first actual whole adult tooth at 14, soon after that, they would randomly break apart and it seemed to be at the most awkward times. For a 14 year old girl who is already a mental case, losing my teeth was just the icing on the cake that I couldn't even eat cuz my mouth always hurt. I'm now 30, and overcame my fears of leaving my house to go see someone I didn't know, but who was in the line of work of dentistry, I've been talked down too by dentists, I've left offices feeling like I wanted to kill myself because of the embarrassment they made me feel, and in more pain than when I arrived.. never once had a good dentist that made me feel, even partially "ok"... so you can see where my hesitation on going stems from... I had an abscess the size of a grape in the front on top under my eye..(closer to my nose because it was in my mouth but holy mother of crap it felt like it was the entire side of my head) any who, my kids and husband are worried cuz I got infections all the time and with those you can risk losing your life and Im crazy about these little people that call me mommy, and playing house with my ole man is WAY more fun than when I was a kid so I had to put on my big girl pants and take on this fear, to save my life, cuz now it really did depend on it..
Im red faced, panic attacks the whole way there, (I don't drive and hubby was at work so I walked, just down the street here to a walk in dentistry I've never been too..) grape sized lump in my face and Im visibly shaken, had to quietly hide behind my sun glasses and long hair cuz I know they can still see me but my glasses became a comfort thing so I can hide, its weird Im still getting used to these issues I have that I dont understand yet but there I am all weird and stuff, and I go to explain why im a train wreck in tears terrified of this guy I've never met before this, basically pouring my vulnerable, confusing load of a mess onto this poor dudes table like "PLEASE HELP ME BUT IM SCARED OF YOU" kinda approach and he does the most unexpected thing, he talked to me about my depression and anxiety and told me how brave I am for coming in and getting it looked at, that we'll take baby steps and do it one thing at a time, that first visit was for the grape in my jaw and we'll go from there.... 0.o ....... all in all he ROCKS! Gentle caring and all for giving me an all around better outlook on dentists, SO with that being said, Upper and Lower full extractions and dentures in place cuz there was no hope saving my broken mouth full of pain.
k top ones out and immediate dentures in... I hate the way I look cuz I dont see me, I see a girl with a fake smile, but I have always been down on myself, making fun of myself, to prevent it from hurting so bad when I get it from someone else, and that is not ok.... but again, Im full of great advise that I dont take and sometimes should... back to my... ordeal... my jaw heals up nice and its cuz I took them out and let it heal, I couldnt bare having them in right after all my teeth and pieces were ripped from my head... not going to sugar coat it, nothing about this procedure is pleasant... or painless... cuz all the numbing-ness wares off eventually... you just gotta keep going cuz Im told its well worth it in the end... I'll let ya'll know if that is true when I get there.... So Im ready for my bottom ones to come out and all that jazz... My dentist is out sick. :( I dont wanna have to see another dentist Im comfortable with mine he knows my issues and works with me not at his own pace and he has yet to get impatient with me, Im always nice to everyone Im not a crazy braud at all really, its just what happens in my mind that confuses me and the extent of my panic attacks is feeling like I want to vanish from where I am, knowing that those few people who dont even know Im losing it inside my head probably dont even see me but to me I know they can tell, and silently crying with my heart racing till I get inside my home and I'm better... they are much worse in my head... but.. point is Im never late to my apts im always early and I dont make him late for other apts or anything the most I do is apologize for every thing when there is no need for it. so Im not a bad patient but Im the poster child for mental and emotional abuse due to my upbringing and past relationships and its obvious... is what Im getting at... SO He's out, I call in, the lady tells me he is pretty ill and will be out till the end of june.... 0.o ....... now im more worried about him and if he's gonna be ok... I see his business partner, seems nice, fast paced, talks fast, gets his little mirror and looks into my mouth and says "broken huh? oh all of them? This is gonna be fun for me"... yea, those were his exact words.. he didnt even let the gel numb my mouth before he starts jammin the needle into my jaw, im crying quietly cuz I really dont want even MORE attention drawn to me, hes just jabbin away with that thing then says lets let that marinate for about 5 minuets and we'll get those out. it was probably exactly 5 minuets later he comes back with the assistant who is super nice and has been with me through all this and too knows of my issues, and he starts and I swear on everything that ever was or will ever be (cuz I looked at the clock the whole time) it took that man literally 5 minuets to extract 4 whole but cracked teeth and the rest were broken down to my gum line but the roots and stuff were still there, 5 minuets to get them all out.... gave me pain meds antibiotics and a steroid, not to forget the bottom dentures on top of the jaw he just mutilated and when I was like wow really? after he said he was done, I was like that was really fast, he pats me on the shoulder and says "Yea that's what she said" with a grin on his face.... ok what the eff just happened here? im so confusd and in twilight zone, like... "that's what she said"?? really... *chuckles* she must have been very disappointed as well but his confidence was sure up there and not very professional in my opinion... Now I cant even wear them, jaw is still healing, and there is the complete bottom part of my tooth that he missed in the front, that wont come out, and its cutting my lip and tongue and causing swelling... BUT I dont even care, Im waiting til my dentist comes back before I go back there. 5 minuets!!! Thanks for listening :) I feel a little emotionally better lol xoxo
 
A

Anxious76

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 18, 2017
Messages
318
Location
Austin, Texas
I just wanted to let you know you’re not alone and I understand where you’re coming from since I have been through and am still in the process of getting through something similar. We can be proud of ourselves for taking steps to improve every day no matter how small they may seem. You’ve come far from where you have been. Keep going.?
 
Top