so scared i need help

[UK_Teen]

Hi. Im a 17 year old male from the UK with a serious phobia of dentists and needles. This all stems from having my entire mouth of teeth taken from me when i was 4 years old and i can still remember the smell of that horrible place, it makes me shake even 13 years down the line!

Its abit sad but i have even contemplated suicide over my teeth as people dont accept you on a social scale with rotten teeth, they persecute you and treat you like scum and it also effects my job prospects etc. Nearly all my top teeth have some rot on them in one way or another and i have finally booked an appointment for this coming tuesday to have 4 teeth removed by IV sedation.

I have booked these appointments before and run out like a scared infant screaming before id even got passed reception. I really have to get them done this time no matter what because im nearly 18 and will have to pay for my treatment after i turn 18 and i cant afford it. When the teeth come out i will still have bits of rotten teeth that will need sorting and building back into a nice looking set im hoping but its hard to get a dentist on the nhs in the UK.

For something as unimportant as teeth it feels like my life is over and i cant move forward with anything until these are sorted and looking nice but i just get uncontrollably scared.

Any tips on how to get through it and maybe any dentists in the county of KENT in the UK that are taking on that can do the cosmetic work quick as possible before its too late?

I simply cant live my life like this, all i wanna do is be able to smile

 

[James]

Sorry you have had such bad experiences in the past. Unfortunately, one of the side effects is that it makes future visits a source of dread.

I hope you have had a chance to browse through some of the IV threads in the Dental Questions part of the board. I personally have not have IV sedation, but a lot of people on the board swear by it. Also, please know that dentistry has changed a lot since you were younger. Techniques and equipment have improved to make it a more pleasant experience. (If "pleasant" can be a word associated with dentists, hopefully you understand my meaning. )

Good luck with your visit on Tuesday. Feel free to let us know how you get on. You are already making progress towards a healthier smile.

-James

 

[vicki]

Hi

Sorry to hear you're having problems at the moment - but you've come to the right place for advice/support . If you read of some of the success stories on here and also read other people's thread's, you'll see that it is possible to overcome this or least get to a point where things are a bit better for you. It sounds impossible, I know - it does to me as well because I'm still scared to death (only recently come out of the closet about the dental phobia myself!) but it must be possible because plenty of people keep posting on here with positive outcomes.

About finding an NHS dentist - try phoning NHS Direct (0845 4647), they should be able to tell you what to do next. You could also check out the nhs website: https://www.nhs.uk/service-search/find-a-dentist - this will give you a list of dentists for your area and tell you which ones are accepting new NHS patients (I wouldn't pin all your hopes on this one though ). Another option is to contact your local NHS Primary Care Trust (this is probably your best option) - they have lists of all the dentists in your area who provide NHS treatment and will be able to give you more info (the number should be in the phone book).

Some people (me included) find it helpful to identify exactly what it is that scares them and why - once you've done that, you're half way there. Then when you're ready, you can begin to explore possible solutions and what might work for you.

Hope this helps

 

[UK_Teen]

Im scared of sitting in the chair, im scared of opening my mouth, im scared of the pulling feeling, im scared of needles and on and on. This site has sort of put me at ease a little bit and as someone said to me today, just sit back and enjoy the free drugs! Thanks for your replies

 

[vicki]

So basically, you're scared from the minute you set foot in the place until the minute you leave? You're definitely not alone in that fear.

You mentioned your fears coming from when you had your teeth removed at four years old - a lot of things are done differently now. For example, I didn't go to the dentist for about 7 years because I was too scared - everything still scares me now (and I mean absolutely everything). But when I eventually did make an appointment, I was pleasantly surprised to find that all the instruments are no longer on display where you can see them (something to do with hygiene standards etc) - this helped a little because the sight of things really freaks me out.

So, you may find that some of the things which scared you before, no longer happen or are done differently now. . Also, from what I've read, if there are any specific things which really scare you, if you let them know, often things can be done differently so that it's a bit easier for you.

 

[Guest]

My first life memory is of being gassed by a dentist with a horribnle smelling rubber mask and waking up in the car with my mouth pouring of blood. Im so scared i have even cracked my back tooth in half and manually pulled half out bit by bit and the bit thats still left is cutting my mouth to shreds and i keep getting absesses which really really drive you crazy, i even tried knocking myself out by headbutting a wall with absess pain, thats just how bad.

When i was little i had a twisted, (spelling) sercofogus? and could'nt drink milk so maybe that has something to do with tooth decay now?

 

[UK_Teen]

That above post is me by the way

 

[vicki]

I can imagine that what happened when you were little must have been extremely scary for you. Things which we experience when we're little can affect how we view and experience things in the future in a fairly major way - particularly if experiences are negative. When you're a lot younger, you (obviously!) don't have the benefit of the knowledge and experience that comes with being an adult, meaning that as a child, you are more led by the actions and instructions of other people than you are when you're older (this probably doesn't make sense - could just be me waffling again - and I'm not a psychologist or anything - this is just from my own experience and stuff that I've read ). But, you're older now - nobody can force you to do anything you don't want to. You're also perfectly entitled to ask as many questions as you like about things you're unsure of or are uncomfortable with. As someone said to me in another thread; you are captain of your own ship.

Also, you can't control or change what's happened in the past (as much as you'd like to - and believe me I would *really* like to change my past!), but you *can* change how you view or approach things both now and in the future.

It sounds like you were scared because you didn't know what was going to happen (correct me if I'm wrong )? Were you scared of going to the dentist before this happened or was it this experience that made you scared of going?

When i was little i had a twisted, (spelling) sercofogus? and could'nt drink milk so maybe that has something to do with tooth decay now?

Sorry, I wouldn't have a clue about this . You could try asking in the dentistry questions section (as it says in the rules, the dentists who answer questions on there are very tame - they don't bite! ).

I do know that absesses aren't a good thing - if you really can't go to a dentist, you could go and see your doctor (they can prescribe antibiotics).

 

[UK_Teen]

Well thanks for all ya help, its quite conforting. I have just had bad experiances with dentists all round, when i have forced myself into a treatment room i have got up pretty quick and walked out because the dentist were nasty to me and were telling me to "buck up and stop acting like a baby" (to which i gave them a few choice words of my own).

I think all i need is a gentle dentist that understands that i am terrified, if i had a choice to take a beating from 100 men or have a tooth out, i know which one i would choose!

I must say i only found this place yesterday and already i am feeling alot less fear already, infact im quite looking forward to acheiving a nice smile and getting into that "dreamy state" of sedation but when i get there is the hardest part to sit in the chair, that really does my head in and i sometimes get abbusive to them which i dont mean but its just total and utter fear- this time i will definitly keep my cool no matter what because i dont want them to butcher me!

I know this is not nice, but i get alot of comfort knowing theres alot more people my age with a hell of a lot worse teeth than me.

My main reasons for getting teeth done is coz my whole life seems to be in a rut and i see it as my teeth problems. No girlfriend,unemployed etc and until i get this done i feel i cant move on so im doing it no matter what, if they have to beat me with a mallet then so be it!

Do you think they could giver me the sedation fluid in the reception or something abit more normal and let me walk from there to the surgery room so i feel less nervous- i just need them to be there for me and tell me its ok and be gentle but it just seems im just a number in a cue all the time and its like wham bam thankyou mame and your out

 

[vicki]

If the dentist is nasty to you and doesn't have the patience to deal with your anxiety, then they're not the right one for you - keep searching until you find someone who does take time to make sure you're comfortable and who takes your fears seriously <--- this seems to be the thing that makes the biggest difference for most people.

I think all i need is a gentle dentist that understands that i am terrified, if i had a choice to take a beating from 100 men or have a tooth out, i know which one i would choose!

I think quite a lot of people on here would choose the same !

when i get there is the hardest part to sit in the chair, that really does my head in and i sometimes get abbusive to them which i dont mean but its just total and utter fear- this time i will definitly keep my cool no matter what because i dont want them to butcher me!

For you to be 'butchered' because of your behaviour is very unlikely - and it would also be very wrong and unprofessional. But, it's also not fair to be abusive towards them (especially no physical violence!) - they are, after all, only trying to do their job. It's just that some people are a lot better at dealing with nervous patients than others.

so im doing it no matter what, if they have to beat me with a mallet then so be it!

Erm.... I don't think they resort to action as drastic as that so I wouldn't worry if I were you!

Do you think they could giver me the sedation fluid in the reception or something abit more normal and let me walk from there to the surgery room so i feel less nervous

I've never had sedation at the dentists myself. I have had sedation in hospital though - both IV and oral sedation, so I know what they're like.

Because the IV sedation drugs are fairly strong and work almost instantly, you wouldn't actually be able to walk into the treatment room from the reception area because you'd be too doped! You could ask them about oral sedation before the IV goes in though - basically a tranquilliser such as Diazepam (Vallium) or similar which you could take the night before to help you sleep and also before the appointment so that you're a bit calmer when you get there.

i just need them to be there for me and tell me its ok and be gentle but it just seems im just a number in a cue all the time and its like wham bam thankyou mame and your out

The key to this is finding the right dentist for you (people write about them in the success stories section so they must exist!). Someone who will take the time to make sure things are OK. Quite often on the NHS, time is a limited resource (there is a lot of pressure to treat as many patients as they can etc) so sometimes they might not be able to take as much time with patients as they'd like to. A lot of this is to do with trust as well - it's important that you feel comfortable with them, because if you're not, then no amount of time will fix that.

The appointment you've got on tuesday - have you been to this dentist before or is it your first visit?
You could ask to speak to them before the appointment either over the phone or in person - maybe explain some of this to them away from treatment room if possible, so you'd feel a bit calmer?

 

[letsconnect]

Hi there ,

i sometimes get abbusive to them which i dont mean but its just total and utter fear- this time i will definitly keep my cool no matter what because i dont want them to butcher me!

As you might have found in the past, aggression breeds aggression. But I was wondering - when you said this time you would definitely keep your cool, did you just mean in terms of keeping any abusive behaviour under check, or more generally? It is very important that your dentist knows about what you fear might happen. Otherwise, they have no hope in hell of helping you with your fears or reassuring you.

You may find our Common Fears pages helpful for figuring out what it is you actually fear.

One thing which wasn't quite clear to me (maybe I missed something): do you know the dentist you're going to see for the IV sedation?

 

[UK_Teen]

When i say keep my cool i mean i will be polite no marttter what in any case! Im going to see a special sedation clinic that is apparently for people like me, i stress the word "apparently"

 

[vicki]

Would it help if you went sometime before your appointment just for a quick 5 minute chat? That might remove some of the 'unknown' or uncertainty for you? You could just stick your head round the door and ask a few questions - test the water etc. It would also give you a better idea of what the place is like if you've not been there before.

I might be wrong but from reading your last post, you don't sound very convinced about the place

 

[UK_Teen]

I have never been to this place so im not sure what the people are like or anything. I live in the south-east UK and the clinic im going to is miles away from, like an hour and a half drive so i cant really get there to check it out, although thats what i would like to ahve done.

 

[vicki]

OK, next best thing then - maybe you could phone them and ask to speak to the dentist? If they're too busy they can always call you back. Also, if they're willing to speak to you and take time to answer your questions, then there's a better chance that they could be alright (you can always hang up if you don't like the sound of their voice ).

 

[UK_Teen]

good thinking batman, think i'll give it a try

 

[vicki]

Erm... Shouldn't that be batgirl?! . Seriously though, there's no harm in dipping your toes in the water and trying it out (over the phone) - it might be helpful to write down a list of questions to ask in case you get nervous when you're on the phone to them (you're a lot braver than me - I couldn't just pick up the phone and call them - I'm too chicken so I usually get other people to do it for me ).

 

[UK_Teen]

im ok ringing them, i just cant stand the sound of screaming kids in the background! I think this site should make a faceparty style section for people with dodgy teeth! lol

 

[vicki]

I can't stand the sound of screaming kids at any time - but especially not at the dentists !

If the sound of their "younger customers" bothers you, you could try phoning at a time when they're less likely to be there. When I was at school, my parents usually took me first thing in the morning and when I go to the dentists now, if I have the first appointment then there's usually a few kids about making a load of noise but if I have the last appointment then it's less likely. You might also be better ringing at the end of the day as they may have more time to talk (just a guess though).

 

[UK_Teen]

Well tomorrow is the big day, im absolutly petrified and have stayed in bed today because my head is throbbing with pain where im so stressed. 4 teeth by sedation tomorrow, will i feel any pain or anything do you think im really scared i thought i could deal with it but now i know i gotta get up at 7am to travel to the dentist its driving me crazy.