So scared

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Bunny85

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Jun 28, 2021
Messages
41
This is going to be a long story so please bear with me. I been looking on here for about a week now and its been fabulous. So here my story. I am 35 and so scared to go to the dentist cause my teeth are so bad. Well the ones that have not broke off or come out. So I was in a very controlled relationship for many years. Never had money or go anywhere on my own. So going to the dentist was never on the cards. When I did manage to leave him I fell into very bad depression for years. My teeth was the last thing on my mind. Then I lost my dad in very bad circumstances which made my depression even worse. Then in 2018 I managed to over come my fear and see the dentist. Had bit of work done and felt so much better but then bang my depression came back and hit me even harder then before. To the point where I would just sleep and not leave the house. So my health and teeth was the last thing on my mind. Just making it though the day was all I cared about. Now roll on to today. My depression is under control and feel now is the time to sort my teeth out. Part of my depression is because of my teeth. So to carry on I need to sort them. Only thing is I am so scared to sit in that chair and open my mouth cause I know they are beyond help and will need them all out on the top. My bottom are ok but not great. I just want to smile again and carry on getting my life back. Now in the UK there is no nhs dentist so rang a private dentist. I have to pay £60 just to go for my 1st appointment. I dont mind paying this but it scare me that all the work I will need done will cost a fortune and I only work part time. Just don't think I will open my mouth cause I am scared of what the dentist will say. I over think things if you couldn't tell already. I know deep down I need to do this to carry on getting better and get out my depression but it fills me with fear. Thanks for reading any help would be great
 
krlovesherkids777

krlovesherkids777

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Bunny85

:welcome: to DFC.. We are glad you are here, you are in the right place with alot of people who will support you in your journey! Thank you for sharing your story.. :grouphug:
Sounds you have had a rough road with a very abusive relationship and battling depression. I give you all the credit for your strength and resilance to make it through this and to be in a position
of making positive thoughts to move ahead to your dental work. Its draining to go through all of that.

Take one step at a time and hope you find a very kind and compassionate dentist who will understand your journey and anxiety . The more you open up about your journey the more they should help you along.

I can tell you, I was in a very abusive marraige for 10 years, and had awful teeth but was never
to spend money on anything to do with me, not teeth or anything. very controlled.. there was no way either. it got to a very bad point and I was pregnant so finally got on medicaid , similiar to nhs.. and found a very kind compassionate dentist who helped me through the situation. She was the first kind dentist I went to. I also had this feeling of not wanting to open my mouth, had this immense feeling of shame.. I would go with my hand in front of my mouth. My kind dentist helped me through this feeling.

Just take it a day at a time, communicate the best you can your story and anxiety and if they are not kind and patient then don't accept it.. There are alot of kind patient dentists out there that would love to help. :grouphug:
 
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Bunny85

Member
Joined
Jun 28, 2021
Messages
41
Bunny85

:welcome: to DFC.. We are glad you are here, you are in the right place with alot of people who will support you in your journey! Thank you for sharing your story.. :grouphug:
Sounds you have had a rough road with a very abusive relationship and battling depression. I give you all the credit for your strength and resilance to make it through this and to be in a position
of making positive thoughts to move ahead to your dental work. Its draining to go through all of that.

Take one step at a time and hope you find a very kind and compassionate dentist who will understand your journey and anxiety . The more you open up about your journey the more they should help you along.

I can tell you, I was in a very abusive marraige for 10 years, and had awful teeth but was never
to spend money on anything to do with me, not teeth or anything. very controlled.. there was no way either. it got to a very bad point and I was pregnant so finally got on medicaid , similiar to nhs.. and found a very kind compassionate dentist who helped me through the situation. She was the first kind dentist I went to. I also had this feeling of not wanting to open my mouth, had this immense feeling of shame.. I would go with my hand in front of my mouth. My kind dentist helped me through this feeling.

Just take it a day at a time, communicate the best you can your story and anxiety and if they are not kind and patient then don't accept it.. There are alot of kind patient dentists out there that would love to help. :grouphug:
Thank you your kind words mean alot 😊
 
Enarete

Enarete

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Hi Bunny85,

a warm welcome from me as well! It‘s nice to read that after a week of reading you joined :) it‘s so much easier to deal with the fear when there is someone to listen. Or a whole bunch!
You sound so courageous and dedicated, I have huge respect for your fight against depression and that you keep on going. And you already managed to beat your fear once, which is the best proof of your capability. You did it once, you will do it again! Btw. I am glad you are able to go private, because here is the thing: you are a client. For every dentist. But for a private one, you pay for their time so if you don‘t feel like sitting in the chair, guess what: you just won‘t. It‘s that easy.
As @krlovesherkids777 mentioned, be courageous and share your fears. Your dental team will be happy to accomodate your needs and take things slowly. Maybe you were able to share about your anxiety as you booked the appointment already?

Life can be hard and unbearable sometimes and it‘s all about taking it one step at a time. You have demonstrated so much strength in your past and even more: the willingness to move on no matter what. And that‘s the only thing that counts.

All the best wishes and keep us posted :)
 
C

champ

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Dec 14, 2020
Messages
74
So many people think they know what's going to happen at the dentist - and it seems like it often turns out better than they were expecting. The thing is, the only one who can know really is a dentist. There is so much they can do now, and it can be done a step at a time, usually. I know how hard it is not to worry about teeth (I do it all the time), but please go ahead anyway. Mine were pretty bad and then were stabilized over time, and I haven't needed anything but checkups for 26 years. (But I still worry. :) )
 
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Bunny85

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Jun 28, 2021
Messages
41
Thanks for all your support guys. I am just waiting on a email back about a appointment. So made that 1st step :):)
 
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Bunny85

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So got appointment booked for 24th September. But don't think my nerves or my teeth will wait that long. So going to look somewhere else for a appointment b4 that :(
 
C

champ

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So got appointment booked for 24th September. But don't think my nerves or my teeth will wait that long. So going to look somewhere else for a appointment b4 that :(

I think that's a very good idea! The less time you have to worry and wonder, the better.
 
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Bunny85

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Jun 28, 2021
Messages
41
Having bad time right now. My front tooth has started to break away and it's sending my anxiety to a might high. I don't know how I will cope if I can't get into the dentist b4 24th September :cry::cry:
 
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champ

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Dec 14, 2020
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74
Have you asked friends for recommendations of dentists? That's a good way to find one, and especially if it's a referral, they might get you in quickly.
 
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Bunny85

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Jun 28, 2021
Messages
41
Have you asked friends for recommendations of dentists? That's a good way to find one, and especially if it's a referral, they might get you in quickly.
I dont talk about it to friends or family I am to embarrassed
 
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champ

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You don't have to talk about it in-depth. Just casually mention that you're looking for a new dentist and ask if they like theirs. If they do, just ask for the name. People do it all the time. I found my dentist through a coworker.
 
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Bunny85

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Jun 28, 2021
Messages
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You don't have to talk about it in-depth. Just casually mention that you're looking for a new dentist and ask if they like theirs. If they do, just ask for the name. People do it all the time. I found my dentist through a coworker.
To be honest I don't really have friends. I tend to stay away from people cause of how I feel. I go to work and come home. I know I sound sad when I say that
 
C

champ

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To be honest I don't really have friends. I tend to stay away from people cause of how I feel. I go to work and come home. I know I sound sad when I say that

No, I get it, totally. Is there anyone at work you chat with, though?
 
C

champ

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Dec 14, 2020
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Is there a family member you could ask by phone? Or maybe the dentist office you're scheduled with can refer you to someone you can see sooner. At the last, ask that office to notify you if someone cancels soon, maybe.

I'm looking forward to you being happy enough with yourself that you can socialize again!!!
 
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Bunny85

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Jun 28, 2021
Messages
41
Is there a family member you could ask by phone? Or maybe the dentist office you're scheduled with can refer you to someone you can see sooner. At the last, ask that office to notify you if someone cancels soon, maybe.

I'm looking forward to you being happy enough with yourself that you can socialize again!!!
I have asked the office to let me know if anyone cancels. I can't wait to socialise again. Just other step to add to my list of hoping to get back to myself
 
krlovesherkids777

krlovesherkids777

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Bunny85,

One more non threatening thing I did when I was looking after my good dentist left was FB dentists on messenger that looked anxious friendly. There was a several that answered me even after hours and on weekends to reassure me and let me know how friendly they were anxiety wise and also several offered a free visit to come meet them before doing anything. This really put me at ease. I went on several visits. and actually most I visitied were so nice it was hard to choose.

doing it on FB they don't know you you have control you don't have to face them until you want to :)..
 
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Bunny85

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Jun 28, 2021
Messages
41
Just quick update. Managed to find a dentist that can get me in on the 21st of this month. It will cost £45 unlike the £60 for my other appointment. Cause I over think things I am now thinking is this dentist not going to be very good Cause its not as much. Help
 
letsconnect

letsconnect

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Hi, have you checked their Google and/or facebook reviews? You can often get a good idea about what a dentist is like from those, especially when there are testimonials from other nervous patients.
 
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