So terrified of the dentist and sick of being told to "grow up"

[orange-sox]

I had a really traumatic experience with the dentist as a child, and that combined with my dads own fear of all things dental has lead to me being an utter gibbering crying mess.

A few years ago I had to go see an NHS emergency dentist for a very traumatic extraction involving me being restrained in the chair as I completely freaked out. Since then I've not really had any dental problems, vowed to go for check ups and didn't due to my fear and now in the space of about two days have discovered at least 3 cavities.

Last night I did not sleep a wink whatsoever and just cried and cried thinking about going to the dentist. My partner has zero fear of the dentist and his only words were "for goodness sake, just grow up, it doesnt hurt"

I bloody does, it's never numb enough, the pressure is intense and I end up throwing up before I even get in the chair.

I'm determined to see a private dentist and have IV sedation for my fillings etc - this isn't a bizarre request is it? I appreciate it will probably cost me a fortune, but I'm at the point where I really couldn't care less, I just need it sorting and I need to be as close to unconcious throughout as possible.

 

[brit]

Re: So terrified of the dentist and sick of being told to "grow up"

You may not need i/v sedation, just a competent caring (probably private) dentist who can get you properly numb.
No it most certainly is not an unreasonable request to want to receive painfree treatment and no one should be restraining you - that is assault.

 

[queenoffear]

Re: So terrified of the dentist and sick of being told to "grow up"

Hi! I also had traumatic experiences with a dentist as a child. Someone telling you to grow up does not help. People without the fear do not understand how we feel inside. They do not understand how debilitating the fear is and how it takes over us. Everyone is afraid of something. I am sorry but your partner needs to be more compassionate. I know how terrible this fear is. I live with it when I make an appointment, before the appointment and waiting for the next appointment. I use a sedation dentist. I could not do it otherwise. Everyone has their own comfort level. You have to do what makes you feel at ease. Dentists offices may have come a long way but in my opinion it still involves discomfort. I do not deal well with pain so the sedation is the way to go for me. I know the fear does not help people like us deal with the discomfort. Finding a good dentist helps. The sedation costs me more. I do not have dental insurance but the money is worth it to me. My best to you.

 

[overcame_1t]

Re: So terrified of the dentist and sick of being told to "grow up"

If I don't feel numb enough, I ask the dentist for another injection before he starts, which sounds mad, but worth it.

Dental fear can feel very real to the person experiencing it, and I agree that whoever told you to grow up was not being compassionate enough.

Good luck with your treatment, and I am sure you will be fine.

 

[brit]

Re: So terrified of the dentist and sick of being told to "grow up"

Can't Get Numb

Find out why you may not get numb enough, what dentists can do to get you numb, and how to ensure your treatment is painless.

www.dentalfearcentral.org

This link explains the main reasons why you may not have felt numb enough in the past. Your partner needs to read it so he can see there are some people for instance whose nerves are placed slightly differently (I am not saying this applies to you btw)....not all dentists acknowledge that it is their primary duty to get their patient adequately numb...the ones that do and have lots of tricks up their sleeve are the ones who can most easily help you overcome your fear (with or without sedation).

It is also possible for local to be administered comfortably and without pain...so there is (with the right dentist) no need to evaluate whether the discomfort of an injection is worse or not, than keeping quiet about the fact I don't feel completely numb.

May I suggest you choose a dentist off the Finder for your area as it is more likely they will give you a good experience. First off you need to meet the dentist and decide they can help you..they need to agree they will not do any work on you unless you are free of pain. Pressure is not the same thing as pain, but I reckon you have not been adequately numbed in the past and if you were sufficiently anxious as to be hysterical then it is quite likely LA could have instantly worn off or never even have kicked in.
Just because LA has been given it doesn't mean it has definitely worked - not all dentists care or are aware of this fact. Find one who does and you will be fine honestly.
You are probably just a rational human being who doesn't want to be hurt during dental treatment - the good news you don't have to be and you don't even have to resort to sedation to achieve this but you may prefer to at least at first.
Some more relevant links:

Fear of Painful Dental Treatment

Do you avoid the dentist because you are afraid of pain? Find out how dental treatment can be made painless.

www.dentalfearcentral.org

Fear of the dental drill

If you are scared of the sounds of the dentist's drill, or the potential for painful treatment, this page provides lots of tips for coping.

www.dentalfearcentral.org

 

[Dr. Daniel]

Re: So terrified of the dentist and sick of being told to "grow up"

Hello.
Pain has a very subjective component in it. Let's say that the dentist gave the anesthesia and the nerve fibers that transmit pain are not working anymore. The tooth is indeed numb but still the patient feels pain, in his/her subjective perception; due to past trauma or because the previous night he/she did not sleep or because the feeling of pressure is very strong.
Whatever.
If the patient says that it is painful, it is indeed painful!
However, you can do something about it. Together with the right dentist, together with your willingness to face the fear and to find small practical solutions that can tremendously help.

There are many great ideas and tips here in this website. I would like to add some: maybe the dentist needs to wait enough time for the anesthisia to have an effect. You can get the anestiotia (carefully and slowly), than go sit in the waiting room for half an hour while the next patient is being treated and then return to the dental chair, fully numbed.
It is also OK to recieve double the usually given amount of anestiosia. It is medicaly safe and it really helps with feelings of pressure.

You together with your dentist can find the answers for your needs.

 

[brit]

Re: So terrified of the dentist and sick of being told to "grow up"

It is also OK to recieve double the usually given amount of anestiosia. It is medicaly safe and it really helps with feelings of pressure.

This is a good point. It is often said that root canal treatments can be done without LA on teeth where the nerve has already died off but you can bet your life that 'sensation pressure wise', it will be much more comfortable to be numbed up regardless. Most people would also then find it easier to relax as they wouldn't be waiting for an unpleasant sensation (or god forbid even pain) to strike.

Some dentists are just mean with the LA, trying to give 'just the right amount' to keep the patient 'happy' - if you are going to be numbed up, you may as well just go for 'profound anaesthesia' and then relax knowing it probably won't even need a top-up.

 

[mastoid]

Re: So terrified of the dentist and sick of being told to "grow up"

One thing to remember is that if you focus on the pain, and you focus on the discomfort it will amplify it. You will be expecting something to happen, and your mind can sometimes make something that is small turn into something that is huge. Trust me, I've had it done before. I had a tooth pulled when I was younger and was expecting it to be painful, and I could feel the pressure and thought I was experiencing pain, but really I was just hyping it up. I remember looking back on it, and thinking what I was feeling was pain, but really it wasn't.

I know it is very hard, but you just have to try and get it out of your mind. Sedation is probably the best option for you though. I just wanted to share my little experience with you. If you are looking for it to hurt, it probably will. Whether you are really feeling it, or your mind is. I've done it to myself numerous times. I know everything will go well for you, you can do it!

 

[hildegard]

Re: So terrified of the dentist and sick of being told to "grow up"

My dentist just told me the other day that I have nerves in weird places, which is why it is ALWAYS hard for me to get numb. No one had ever told me that! Now that I know, it's much easier for me to go to the dentist and trust that I can, indeed, get numbed up

I have two dentists at the moment (for different things), and they both go out of their way to make sure I feel as little as possible. Unlike others here at the forums, I chose not to disclose my phobia to either dentist, so these doctors are just good people who don't want to cause their patients pain, it has nothing to do with my being a phobic or not.

I know those doctors are out there, and I know you can find one that will help you good luck

 

[brit]

Re: So terrified of the dentist and sick of being told to "grow up"

Unlike others here at the forums, I chose not to disclose my phobia to either dentist, so these doctors are just good people who don't want to cause their patients pain, it has nothing to do with my being a phobic or not.

I know those doctors are out there, and I know you can find one that will help you good luck

Ditto - I am just mainstream happy patient too!

 

[brit]

Re: So terrified of the dentist and sick of being told to "grow up"

One thing to remember is that if you focus on the pain, and you focus on the discomfort it will amplify it. You will be expecting something to happen, and your mind can sometimes make something that is small turn into something that is huge. Trust me, I've had it done before. I had a tooth pulled when I was younger and was expecting it to be painful, and I could feel the pressure and thought I was experiencing pain, but really I was just hyping it up. I remember looking back on it, and thinking what I was feeling was pain, but really it wasn't.

I know it is very hard, but you just have to try and get it out of your mind. Sedation is probably the best option for you though. I just wanted to share my little experience with you. If you are looking for it to hurt, it probably will. Whether you are really feeling it, or your mind is. I've done it to myself numerous times. I know everything will go well for you, you can do it!

Fair comment but if you are not properly numb....you are feeling pain and that is far too often according to accounts on here dismissed by dentists as pressure when it is clearly pain. There is a difference.