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SolitudeIsBliss's Journal

Enarete

Enarete

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I‘m so sorry to read about how hard this is for you, it sounds like you are having a very tough time at the moment. It‘s good to acknowledge your fragility and to take extra good care of you now.

It might be a good idea to be open about this. If I were you I would disclose the depression and anxiety and also tell them that you are having a very hard time right now. These are very relevant information and will allow your dental team handle you with care. Would it be an idea to write them an email about this and ask them to pass it to the dentist? You could also tell them that you might be too tong tied tomorrow so that they are ready.

Not being able to get beyond talking is fine. You r emotional state changes from minute to minute and even without this special phase you never know if you will feel like doing anything more than talking. If you need some extra reassurance, email them about this too and let them tell you that not feeling up to do an exam is fine. It is a huge hurdle for you and even talking is a challenge enough.

It sounds like this practice knows how to work with nervous patients so they will have understanding for your situation.

If you need any venting or sorting your thoughts and would find it helpful to talk to someone, please pm me at any time.

Hope you can try to get a bit of sleep.
 
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SolitudeIsBliss

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Australia
Well...I did it!

It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be (although it was difficult and awkward). The diazepam helped a lot. The dentist was really nice and super sensitive and was never critical of me. She said she was proud of me for coming in a doing so well.

I'm a little apprehensive about what the x-rays would show. The issues that she raised with me were pretty much what I already figured. She said she could either fill or smoothen out the chip in my front tooth. She also said my teeth could be whitened, which would be fantastic if she was right about that. Those two things I feel are quite obvious when I talk to people, so I'd feel so much better about myself if those things could get addressed in the not too distant future.

I've posted more details of the appointment in the "Share your success story" forum. Check it out if you feel so inclined!

Thanks for everyone's support and patience. I would not have been able to do this without you!

Next challenge...this Friday for an x-ray and a deep clean!
 
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SolitudeIsBliss

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Well, something weird happened today.

The original dentist I saw called me back, said that for some reason my email had gone into their junk folder and wanted to know if I still needed help. I told them that i was seeing another dentist but would still be possibly interested in the future. I got some details from them and they sound friendly. It's pretty good because if it doesn't work out with my current dentist, I've already spoken to another dentist and would feel comfortable contacting them.

It seems small but the fact that I am now able to talk quite comfortably on the phone with dentists feels like a massive victory in itself. A few weeks ago I couldn't even listen to a voicemail message from a dentist - let alone call one! It just shows you that so much of fear is all in your head.

I have my next appointment tomorrow. Hopefully, I will be getting a cleaning. I want to start fixing my teeth ASAP.
 
krlovesherkids777

krlovesherkids777

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That is awesome.. It feels good to not only have one option but several you could be comfortable with!!!
 
S

SolitudeIsBliss

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Having another option is good!

I had a cleaning, polish, fluoride treatment and x-rays done. The cleaning hurt a little but wasn't too bad. I'm surprised at how quick these things take actually.

The results from the x-rays are mixed. Apparently, I need a few fillings where cavities have formed between my teeth. She said that aren't particularly large, so they should be quite easy to do. One of the teeth has a larger cavity in it, which she thinks she can fill but possibly will require a root canal in the future.

The thing that has gotten me worried is my x-rays showed a black area above the top side of my jaw. She wants to send me to a specialist to try and work out what's going on. My lower right wisdom tooth has damaged the tooth next to it, so that tooth will need extracting if I remove the wisdom tooth. She said that the specialist will be able to give some recommendations on that as it is quite close to the nerve. She doesn't seem too keen to remove that particular tooth herself as there is the potential for complications.

I have an appointment next Friday and we are going to start with my fillings.

It feels good to have actually begun treatment now.
 
Enarete

Enarete

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It's lovely to read about your progress. From not being able to even email a dentist in the first stages to having two appointments and even a cleaning and x-rays. Very well done! :)

Hope the black area is nothing serious and hopefully you get some good solution also for the wisdom tooth issue.

Good luck with your fillings next week and keep us posted. It's awesome to watch your progress!
 
S

SolitudeIsBliss

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Ugh. I've been thinking more about the dark spot on my x-ray. I really hope it isn't cancer or something serious. I wish I had now pressed a bit further on it because I can't do anything about it now for at least another week. I'm going to be stressing about it now - having a black area on your jawbone is probably not going to okay.
 
S

SolitudeIsBliss

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I'm really scared I have jaw/sinus cancer. :(
 
S

SolitudeIsBliss

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First filling is done.

Apparently, it was the worst one I'll need doing. It's 50/50 whether or not the tooth will be saved or need a root canal if the filling isn't enough.

The filling wasn't too bad. Not painful at all, just a little uncomfortable. The worst part is having your mouth open for so long.

From here we are going to do the other fillings. She said it might be worth leaving the extractions to see what the oral surgeon says and it might be easier just to get them done all in one go if I'm going to need to be put to sleep for it.

Hopefully the numbing wears off soon, it feels like I've been punched in the mouth lol.
 
letsconnect

letsconnect

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That's excellent news :jump: - congratulations and well done :party: !!

Keeping my fingers crossed that a root canal won't be needed and that it settles down quickly :thumbsup:.

Did you get a chance to ask your dentist about the dark spot on the X-ray? If so, hopefully she's been able to reassure you - statistically speaking, the probability that it's anything more serious is extremely remote, so please don't lose any sleep over it :grouphug:
 
S

SolitudeIsBliss

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She said she put some "medicine" on the tooth before filling it to give it the best possible shot at saving it. Apparently, if I had left the tooth any longer I'd need to have it pulled - I guess I'm lucky I went when I went! I appreciate the attempt to save the tooth with the most conservative option first. She could easily tell me that I need a root canal.

I did ask her about the dark patch and said I was worried about the possibility of cancer. She played that down and said that cancer generally looks different and said it wasn't anything to worry about. I guess if she thought it was serious she'd be stressing that I really needed to see someone right now. My mother died of kidney cancer so I worry a lot about getting it myself. My dentist used to work in a maxillo-facial unit in a hospital in the UK, so that reassures me a little.

My next appointment is this Wednesday. I want to keep the momentum going and not get in a cycle of patch-up jobs. I've decided to make a commitment to get this all of this fixed and I'm in it for the long haul.
 
S

SolitudeIsBliss

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Second filling is done!

This one also was my second largest cavity. The rest are small and she said she'll be able to knock off multiple fillings in each appointment. Again, no pain. She put medicine on the tooth before filling it again. She said it will give me the best chance of not having to have a root canal later on.

I'm really happy with my dentist. She's always telling me funny little anecdotes and she explains everything she is doing.

She's given me the referral and said that it wouldn't take very long to book in an appointment with the oral surgeon, so I'll try and book that in for next week.

I'd like to write up a recommendation for my dentist for other people who use this forum. There's probably not many people here from my city but it might help someone down the road!
 
S

SolitudeIsBliss

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Next dentist appointment - Monday morning 2nd July!
 
S

SolitudeIsBliss

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Feeling a little bit down today. I think the first filling has failed. It feels like a part of it has broken off and the tooth feels a little bit sensitive. She said it was 50/50 that the filling would work. I guess this means that it hasn't.

There's a possibility that the tooth will need to be pulled and I'm pretty devastated about that. The other teeth I need removing are all pretty much broken down anyway. Psychologically, I don't feel like I'm losing anything by having them taken out. This tooth is still visibly there.

I've been having a lot of thoughts about how much I regret not doing something sooner. I'm also angry that my parents didn't put more effort into ensuring that I formed good dental health habits and saw the dentist at least once a year. My parents didn't look after their teeth and neither did their parents. It's like these poor habits are being passed down through the generations. I wish I had grown up in a family that treated their teeth as being important and could afford to look after them.

All I want is to feel comfortable again smiling and talking to people. I don't even feel like going out anymore and being around people. It's too much effort to try and hide things.

It has destroyed my hopes for the future. I can't imagine having a good life with this problem. I don't feel like making new friends. I don't feel like dating. I don't feel like going for that interview to get a better job. I don't feel like improving my life. I realised today that I don't feel like dressing up anymore and have been less concerned with my overall appearance. I feel like there isn't any point in trying to look nice when my teeth look bad. I feel ugly every day. I feel like I've been condemned to a miserable life. Never smiling takes its toll on you mentally.

What's the point?
 
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S

SolitudeIsBliss

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It turns out I'll need either a root canal or extraction.

The dentist offered to remove the nerve in that tooth to avoid pain. I don't really like being put on the spot, so I asked if I could leave it a day or two to decide. She said that I could come in and they'd see me if I needed it doing in the meantime.

I really want to avoid the extraction, so that's off the table as far as I'm concerned. It'll need to be a root canal.

I'm freaking out about the idea of having the nerve in my tooth removed. There's something about it that is making me squeamish and uncomfortable.

I need some opinions on something that has been offered to me if anyone wants to give their two cents.

***UPDATE***

I just woke up from a nap and all of my teeth at the back feel super sensitive. I wonder if the tenderness and sensitivity of one of the nerves can radiate out to the other teeth. All my back teeth on that side feel awful.
 
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Enarete

Enarete

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Root canal treatment sounds scarier than it is, believe me. It’s not that much different than a filling and the great thing is - it is a possibility to keep the tooth. Do not think too much about nerves or something, it’s basically cleaning of the tooth and filling it and you won’t feel anything as they numb you up. If I were in your shoes and cost wouldn’t be too much of an issue, I would go for a root canal too. Not sure if this is what is happening with your tooth right now but pain from one tooth can definitely make the other teeth sensitive.

Hopefully you can feel better soon. There is a lot of things to process - the anxiety, the needed treatment and the options, self-criticism and hopelessness. Allow yourself to feel that way, it belongs to the journey, however be sure that it’s only temporary. You are going on and will get to the smile you like very soon. The time in between might be hard but it’s only temporary.
 
krlovesherkids777

krlovesherkids777

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Hope you feel better soon and not too sensitive .. I agree with Enarete too I'd go for the root canal too. and I'm with you on wanting to save it if you can.. Hopefully the root canal take care of it all!
 
L

Lex

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Sorry you have had a rough go! You are such a trooper and I am so proud of you for moving forward! Nerve pain is terrible and I am so sorry you are dealing with it.
 
S

SolitudeIsBliss

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Thanks, everyone!

I woke up this morning and felt fine. I had loosely made an appointment for this morning yesterday just in case my tooth was still sore and I wanted the nerve removed. I ended up having my appointment, but this time it was with my dentist's husband. He did some more tests on my tooth, which now has normal sensitivity compared to yesterday. Yesterday when she put cold on the tooth it was PAINFUL. He said that my tooth may have settled down and we should just monitor it for the time being. Hopefully, I don't need the root canal.

As I was already there I got him to do another filling. Apparently, I only need a few more doing now. The needle hurt quite a bit more than previous needles and he said that that's the worst area to do the needle.

Basically, all the bad things I thought about dentists (the smell, the pain, horrible dentists) has been shown to be untrue. Maybe I'm just lucky or something.

It's good that I got to meet her husband and am comfortable with him. He's super nice. The dental nurse that is always assisting is so sweet too. I'm fortunate.

Next appointment is Friday afternoon.
 
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