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SolitudeIsBliss's Journal

Thanks, everyone!

I woke up this morning and felt fine. I had loosely made an appointment for this morning yesterday just in case my tooth was still sore and I wanted the nerve removed. I ended up having my appointment, but this time it was with my dentist's husband. He did some more tests on my tooth, which now has normal sensitivity compared to yesterday. Yesterday when she put cold on the tooth it was PAINFUL. He said that my tooth may have settled down and we should just monitor it for the time being. Hopefully, I don't need the root canal.

As I was already there I got him to do another filling. Apparently, I only need a few more doing now. The needle hurt quite a bit more than previous needles and he said that that's the worst area to do the needle.

Basically, all the bad things I thought about dentists (the smell, the pain, horrible dentists) has been shown to be untrue. Maybe I'm just lucky or something.

It's good that I got to meet her husband and am comfortable with him. He's super nice. The dental nurse that is always assisting is so sweet too. I'm fortunate.

Next appointment is Friday afternoon.

Proud of you, hon! Good job getting in there. I am so glad that it is getting easier!! Keep on rocking it. You inspire me! :)
 
Sounds like you have an awesome dental team!!
 
Yeah, they're fantastic!

Well, I booked my appointment to see the oral surgeon for Wednesday afternoon (11/7)
 
Well, I've fallen off the wagon a bit. Unfortunately, my anxiety and depression has been getting the best of me and I've generally been feeling hopeless about the situation with my teeth and life generally.

About 3 weeks ago I saw another oral surgeon. She was much better than the previous one. While she wasn't overly friendly, she at least treated me like a human being. Things were looking up and the next day I went to the radiologist to get the cone beam scan she sent me for. The radiologist was super busy and I felt my anxiety increasing with each minute I was sitting in the waiting room.

By the time I went in to the scan I was sweating from anxiety. She told me to sit very still while she was doing the scan. Suddenly, I became hyper-aware of on my tongue, my jaw, my eye lids, my arms and my legs. I was struggling with keeping them still. Then I became aware that I had been holding my breath all of this time and couldn't get back to a steady pace. Then my jaw started trembling and I couldn't stop the wooden stick I was supposed to bite on to from rocking about. The scan finished and I sat there feeling embarrassed realising that she was going to find out that I had ruined it. While she was loading up the results I admitted to her that I think I moved. When she reviewed the results she confirmed it. "Yep, you screwed it up big time!" and I sank in the chair. She went to re-do the scan and just before it started I called out to her and told her I couldn't do it because of my anxiety was too much. I apologised profusely and was led out to the reception area. I then had to explain to the receptionist what happened and why I wasn't paying for the scan that I was supposed to complete. They were kind about it but I left humiliated and ashamed that I couldn't even complete a scan. A scan that people do every day with no issue - that many people here would have done successfully.

Since then, I've kinda just given up on it all. I saw my dentist and she said that I should talk to my GP about taking something to sedate me. I'd said to her previously that I wanted to whiten my teeth at some point, so she did some impressions and at the next appointment I picked up my whitening kit. I haven't even started with it because I just feel like my teeth will never be anything other than bad.

Where to next? I'm not sure...
 
Thank you for sharing.
 
Solitude,

we need to remember to be kind to ourselves. You are a very courageous person who is struggling and you deserve compassion and help on your way. You are very generous in your perception of the dental people you have seen recently, but very critical to yourself. That is not right. Your anxiety is a condition and requires a different approach than a normal patient (if there is a thing). Not feeling rushed and feeling treated kindly is the basis of all as well as a goog relationship to your dental team.

It is not true that other people do that scan without any issues. It is a very unnatural position, there is still someone invading your personal space and ‚doing things to you‘ and it is very easy to feel alone during this procedure. All of this can be already very challenging for someone with anxiety even if the radiologist keeps talking and distracting and does her best to be gentle and reassuring during the process (and it doesn‘t sound like this was the case during your visit). So what I feel happened is that they did not recognize your needs and failed at treating you. If a patient is sweating and obviously anxious, than just going on and doing the scan isnˋt going to work. You didn‘t screw up anything, the radiologist did.

I really wished they would have treated you better. But even if things didn‘t go too well, it is important that you do not feel like a failure, because you are doing everything right and trying really hard.

All the best wishes and keep us posted
 
I haven't made any progress since I hit that roadblock. There's a broken molar that can't be repaired that is starting to hurt and I want to get it extracted. The dentist I was seeing didn't seem interested in extracting it and said I should get it extracted along with my wisdom teeth by an oral surgeon to just get it all done in one go. I don't want to do that. I want to get this broken tooth out now.

My dad passed away late last year. It's likely that I'm going to get a decent amount of inheritance. It'll probably be the only opportunity in my life to fix this problem. Financially, I don't think I'll be in a position to get a large amount of dental work done otherwise.
 
Still no progress made.

It's weird to see some of the people who I encouraged at the start of their journeys progressing further than I was able to.

I feel uniquely screwed in the teeth department. I don't just want healthy teeth. I also want teeth that I can feel comfortable and confident about.
 
Still no progress made.

It's weird to see some of the people who I encouraged at the start of their journeys progressing further than I was able to.

I feel uniquely screwed in the teeth department. I don't just want healthy teeth. I also want teeth that I can feel comfortable and confident about.
Solitude, I think you have made some progress, as you’re posting on the forum again. Sometimes progress is a big step, sometimes it’s a teeny weeny step, and please don’t judge your progress against anyone else’s. You have to go at your own pace. I know how you’re feeling.., you’re not alone. You’re the only one who can determine what you’re ready to tackle. You’ve done a lot already and you should be proud of that.
 
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