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Solve one problem, find another.. Rock bottom.



Sep 21, 2016
I'm just about rock bottom.

I'm early 40s and already in daily pain with my teeth, I wish they would all fall out.

I used to feel like I'd rather die than see a dentist and if secretly hope id fall asleep and not wake up so I wouldn't have to face them..
Now I'm wishing I could die just so I could be out of this pain and misery.

Im assuming I've been ghosted by my NHS dentist as they no longer reply to my emails. I've given it weeks each time/been patient, there's only been three (I've not made a nuisance of myself) but no answer when previously she was kind and helpful.
Whilst I'm ok with ringing reception, I don't want to explain my situation with them and I know during appointments there just isn't the time.

I had a tooth out Monday last week. Friday night the clot feel out and I also had food poisoning.. wanting to be sick whilst in the 9th hour of gauze changes, and praying you aren't sick Incase you get something lodged inside an open hold on your mouth is no fun, coupled with no sleep, constantly running to the toilet on top of 3hrs sleep the night before was misery.. I was told to go to a&e by 111 & my dentist but knew they wouldn't be able to do anything so dealt with it myself.

I'm praying this clot stays.

Yesterday I noted the odd feeling in a back molar - that I thought was just because I only have one tooth above it (perhaps to much pressure on a single tooth?), actually seems to be toothache..

Yet another problem.

Even my husband rolls his eyes when I tell him I have a new toothache. Try having to live with it!

Genuinely, the last 5 years or so has been one issue after another in which I am never on top of it.

As I've been forced into private care I'm finding patience and kindness doesn't come cheap..
They have also had to re-do a filling that the last NHS dentist didn't do properly, so I guess I've lost trust in them anyway.

I'm annoyed I'm forced into paying privately, angry I don't have the money, upset I can't get pain free and at the point where I don't know what the point is anymore, if I'll never be pain free and constantly feeling pain on some degree, feeling run down, penniless and sad, what's the point.. this isn't a life.

I appreciate this isn't a happy post and I'm sorry. I just feel like the only person in the world who can't catch a break.. things could be worse, but this pain has taken over my life and stolen my happiness in the process. I don't know who I am anymore.

Funny thing is, to look at my teeth (the few I have left) they don't look as bad as they feel!

Not sure what I'm asking for so I don't expect a reply. I guess I just needed to vent my misery as I just feel so hopeless.
Hi Nicci,

I’m so so incredibly sorry to read what you’re going through. Please accept my virtual hugs for what they are which is a lot of love and comfort your way: :grouphug:

I’m sorry your dentist is ghosting you. What an abhorrent way to treat a patient. No dentist should ever make you feel like there isn’t time to discuss your individual issues nor should they ever ignore you. I do hope you’ll be able to look into getting a new one, and if you can, I hope they treat you with the respect, kindness and care you absolutely deserve.

I don’t know much about the UK healthcare system (I’m in Canada) but from what I understand, depending on the situation sometimes A&E can actually help? Though I’d need this confirmed, but if things get really bad, there might not be any harm in trying if you still can’t get to a dentist or find someone who will take an emergency patient in (and someone you’d feel comfortable going to as an emergency patient.)

Your husband should be more supportive. I’m sorry he doesn’t seem to understand your trauma, and seems to be annoyed with it. It’s so easy for those who aren’t in our shoes to tell us to get over it. I will reassure you though, that the pressure thing can be very real! I still have all my teeth (for now, I’ll be getting extractions done in November, eep) but because I have problem teeth in my mouth, I can really only eat on one side and only with my back molars, and sometimes those babies feel the pressure of that. Your mouth is meant to work as a whole remember so when it can’t, it can feel quite funky. It might not be a toothache that leads to another issue.

I was convinced for weeks I had an infection in my mouth only to find out I had nothing. I was in pain though and I felt like my gums were bleeding all the time and it turned out to just be anxiety. Never underestimate what the body can make you feel. You’re stressed about your teeth right now (rightfully so with what you’ve been through!) so you’re more aware of your mouth. Try to take some deep breaths and remind yourself that you can‘t see into the future and predict what’s up you know? It could just as easily be nothing as it could be something.

Please remember you aren’t alone. We’ve all been there or are there and felt that pain of feeling like it’s one thing on top of another on top of another with our mouths. But there are so many success stories. It’s hard to believe right now that you might be one, I know. Because there’s so much uncertainty especially when money is involved (I am painfully aware of the fact I can barely pay for what I need done and how much that just hurts. I want everything done right away but I can’t do it and I hate that.) And when you’re in pain, it feels like you’re never going to come out of it, like this is your life forever, suffering and just hoping it‘ll you can get some rest.

I want to tell you that you will get to live a pain free life, that your life won’t be like this forever. I know I’m only a stranger on the Internet and I have no way to guarantee this and no way to tell you to believe it, but I’m going to say it anyway: You’re going to be okay. You are. You are going to be okay and you are going to thrive and yes it will be hard and difficult, but you are going to get through this.

Again I am sending you a bunch of virtual hugs right now :grouphug:
Thank you for your reply, for taking time out to read my complaining too.. :/

Thankfully my extraction has been ok since that horrible night.

I'm definitely struggling with the two fillings I've had this year though.
The worst one being the tooth that will need a RCT (and crown) on it (the next step if the filling didn't work), a joyous £1,500 too I've not been able to chew properly with it since it was done, but as it's been bearable I've just let it be..Silly perhaps but there's always something going on in my mouth and other teeth were more painful..
However since the extraction I've been using it/chewing with it every day (as the other side is off limits) and it's quite painful today - I'm certainly praying it settles, but deep down I know it's only a matter of time before I need the RCT. Tbh I've no idea how I will get through that, especially as my non-adrenaline anesthesia (due to medication) wears off so quickly - I'm terrified tbh. The pain, the length of time I'll have to sit there.. I'm full of ideas for other people getting through it, yet completely terrified myself!

I think I've also realised how much I need some partial dentures as it takes so long to chew with only front teeth and it's also quite painful to do so now (I've only 22 left) .. I don't have it in me to find somewhere to deal with that. But more than that I was hoping to get the rest stable first.. I'm wondering if I ever will tbh.

It's my NHS dentist that's ignoring me.. She was replying to my emails (not sure if many NHS dentists would/should/), but she just stopped (I left my old practice to go there too, so I no longer had a place there at that point either..)
When they wouldn't discuss certain treatment (and ignored me) I went private. Obviously this is expensive, and I've spent a fair amount already, another reason why things are so drawn out whilst I find the money for treatment... Then partial dentures, I've not even thought about that cost yet!

All in all it feels a bit of a mess,.

I'm just so drained by being in pain so often! Most of my remaining teeth have deep fillings, enamel erosion, decay that's on watch, or chipped/tiny cracks so there's plenty of things that could be causing pain. If only I could go back and take better care of them... ,:(. Hey-ho.

Thank you again for replying, I find it hard to face this forum sometimes so my apologies for not thanking you sooner - and good luck with your treatment xx
@Nicci Don’t feel bad about taking a break from the forum. As much as we’re here to support each other, some of the topics and discussions can be triggering too. We all need breaks from time to time.

I feel you on the length of time in the chair! That scares me too. I don’t know how one is expected to just sit there for however long and not be terrified. Honestly. I’ve never had an RCT but from what I’ve seen around the forum a lot of people have had good experiences. I can only hope that when the times comes for you, it’ll be just as good. It’s so hard to take our own advice isn’t it? I’m always supporting others and then with myself I’m like “oh I can’t do this. NOPE.” I just try to treat myself as if I was treating someone else with the same phobias. I find that helps. I think sometimes the only solution is to just do it as scary as it is. Because the fear of the unknown is really part of the problem (obviously easier said than done with money, etc, etc) but I hope you understand what I mean.

I think you can definitely! I’ve seen a lot of before/after photos of others and been shocked and awed at the results. You’d be surprised what a good dental team is able to accomplish. I think the hardest part for us is to find a good dental team in the first place.

That’s awful they started ignoring you. Private is very expensive (here, in Canada, we only have a private option) and the numbers make my head spin. I’m lucky that the partials I need I don’t have to pay for right away. Perhaps there’d be a dentist willing to do that as well with you? Something to look into.

Wanting to go back and take better care of your teeth is something we all deal with. I regularly get mad at my younger self for not. I still get mad at myself today if I miss a brushing because I’m suffering from fatigue or some such! All we can do is focus on the present as best we can. One step at a time, don’t think too far ahead and don’t be too caught in the past either. It’s a balance, and it takes a lot of work, but it can happen.

You’re welcome! And I wish you all the best, truly. I really, really hope you can get everything sorted and be out of pain for good with a wonderful smile. Looking back on these posts and seeing how far you’ve come.