Something encouraging to share: Yesterday I did it.

[OkDani]

I have miles to go. And yesterday's toothache was really no different than the others. It's crazy - we have absolutely no money but blessed to have amazing dental insurance.
The reason I went to the dentist & why I'm having a positive moment is: I suddenly had a burning desire to know exactly what I'm facing. What are the consequences of neglect? How many visits/procedures do I need? How many teeth will I lose? What to expect in the dental chair? How many visits will it be? How will the dentist deal with my fears? How will I?? How much will it actually cost?

So yesterday was somewhat magical. In the waiting room sobbing as I filled out paperwork. I asked for a piece of paper & wrote them this note.
"To the staff: I'm scared. It took me *years* to get here today. I know it's really bad, just not how bad and I'm afraid you'll all judge me. Please look at my photo ID because that's what I'm supposed to look like"

And everyone was SO kind. I cried a lot. When I met the dental surgeon, she was holding my note & she said "I know you're afraid but we'll try to go at your pace. I'm proud of you for coming in today. It's going to be okay. It's fixable! And we're all going to cry happy tears with you when you feel good enough to smile again."

It blew me away. I'm still freaking out but I actually did something about it for myself for the first time! That is the magical part. God, just to have that feeling of no more limbo. Today I feel a little empowered - I'm thankful for however long it lasts.
All the xrays show I need 4 teeth pulled FOR STARTERS ASAP after 10 days of antibiotics. I'm so f'ing scared but I feel I can finally take some steps toward better self care. 1st time ever.
If you need encouragement today, and if you have the resources, maybe right now you can do something different. If you're afraid of the unknown, you'll learn & it's a huge relief, people! I hope this inspires someone to take a small step.

 

[krlovesherkids777]

And everyone was SO kind. I cried a lot. When I met the dental surgeon, she was holding my note & she said "I know you're afraid but we'll try to go at your pace. I'm proud of you for coming in today. It's going to be okay. It's fixable! And we're all going to cry happy tears with you when you feel good enough to smile again."

This really is magical... what a beautiful office full of kind hearts.. and you were so brave and theymet that braveness with kindness. This is a hugely inspiring story !! Keep writing , know you will encourage many and find great support along the rest of your journey!!

 

[OkDani]

Thank you so much. It's been overwhelming. I kind of don't know what to do with it - I certainly will keep writing. Thank you for reading it!

 

[FrozenFear]

Your post hits home with me. I finally made an appointment after 19 years. I’m so incredibly scared. I’m so incredibly embarrassed. This has also ruled my life for at least the past 10 years.

I keep wondering how I will walk through those doors. I feel like a freak for being in this position. For putting myself in this position. I feel like I’m on a roller coaster of emotions. It’s exhausting really. I spent years ignoring and now I’m facing it and it feels like the hardest time of my life right now. To make matters worse my appointment isn’t for a whole month. Part of me is okay with that because I am in no hurry. But part of me is ready to get it over with already.

Well bravo to you for going through with it!!! I really hope I don’t chicken out but it’s a real possibility unfortunately. Thank you for your post. It really helped me to read that.

 

[Billy bags]

Your post hits home with me. I finally made an appointment after 19 years. I’m so incredibly scared. I’m so incredibly embarrassed. This has also ruled my life for at least the past 10 years.

I keep wondering how I will walk through those doors. I feel like a freak for being in this position. For putting myself in this position. I feel like I’m on a roller coaster of emotions. It’s exhausting really. I spent years ignoring and now I’m facing it and it feels like the hardest time of my life right now. To make matters worse my appointment isn’t for a whole month. Part of me is okay with that because I am in no hurry. But part of me is ready to get it over with already.

Well bravo to you for going through with it!!! I really hope I don’t chicken out but it’s a real possibility unfortunately. Thank you for your post. It really helped me to read that.

Well how did it go? What the progress?

 

[Dg6300]

Nice! Look at you, demonstrating such courage. You’ve come a long way. Enjoy!

Last night I ended up in the ER (everything was okay), and I was sort of astonished when they kept asking complex questions when I was having all these negative experiences (though in retrospect I completely understand). Like you, I was going through all the physical and emotional issues, and just handed them my driver’s license. They have a tough job!