S
Sagira
Junior member
- Joined
- Sep 10, 2007
- Messages
- 7
..I really, really do.
I can't remember the last time I went to a dentist. I can very vaguely remember recieving some stickers and a little yellow toothbrush, but it seems so blurry that I'm not entirely sure if it really happened or not. It's been that long.
I am so embarassed about my teeth. More than that, I know there must be a million things wrong with them (and wrong with me?). I have some really OCDish tendancies. It takes me forever to get into the routine of doing something, but once I DO.. I don't stop. This is good, and this is bad. My parents, though they encouraged brushing all the time, never really enforced it, and thus far my OCD has stopped me from being able to DO it regularly, because I never got into the routine of doing it, and now I can't seem to for the life of me. I've tried, and a few times I've managed to keep it up for a week or so, but.. afterwards I just can't anymore. That may seem silly, but.. it's hard to explain how weird compulsions like that work. I've never been formally diagnoised with OCD, but I know that I have it on some level. It's really frustrating, because I feel like no one would understand why it truly feels impossible. What's even more frustrating is that I find it easy to slip into a routine with some things, but not this.
I've always had problems like this, though.
I didn't start brushing my hair regularly until 6th grade. Not because I didn't want to be hygenic, or look good, or anything of the sort; I just couldn't. I can't explain this any better.
Anyway, I'm a month away from turning 18, and I just don't know what to do. I'm terrified of what the dentist will think. I don't want to have to explain why I have such a hard time brushing and getting into a routine and all those other OCD things that I don't want to explain. My parents never forced me to get braces or have teeth removed and you have no idea how much resentment I have towards them because of that. And now, I'm just unsure what to do. I want to get my teeth fixed, but.. I fear that I (we) won't have the money. I'm afraid that my Dad's coverage of me will run out when I turn 18, too. I'm afraid of having to explain to them why I need so much money because so many things are wrong with my teeth.
What's worse? I KNOW his family dental coverage will not cover braces for me anymore because I'm over 16. I know that I can't get teeth pulled unless they have to be pulled for reasons other than them growing in oddly. And I'm so terrified that I have some horrible infection that will result in pain and sickness and other horrific things. Ohgod.
This feels like so much weight to be holding at 18! I have a beautiful boyfriend, a job and I get good grades, and I'm going to be traveling, but.. having my teeth in this condition is enough to make me panic and forget all of that. I have better things to be panicing about! Like getting into uni and getting my passport and.. normal things.
This is not a normal thing. *sigh*
I'm getting desperate, and I don't like it.
I can't remember the last time I went to a dentist. I can very vaguely remember recieving some stickers and a little yellow toothbrush, but it seems so blurry that I'm not entirely sure if it really happened or not. It's been that long.
I am so embarassed about my teeth. More than that, I know there must be a million things wrong with them (and wrong with me?). I have some really OCDish tendancies. It takes me forever to get into the routine of doing something, but once I DO.. I don't stop. This is good, and this is bad. My parents, though they encouraged brushing all the time, never really enforced it, and thus far my OCD has stopped me from being able to DO it regularly, because I never got into the routine of doing it, and now I can't seem to for the life of me. I've tried, and a few times I've managed to keep it up for a week or so, but.. afterwards I just can't anymore. That may seem silly, but.. it's hard to explain how weird compulsions like that work. I've never been formally diagnoised with OCD, but I know that I have it on some level. It's really frustrating, because I feel like no one would understand why it truly feels impossible. What's even more frustrating is that I find it easy to slip into a routine with some things, but not this.
I've always had problems like this, though.
I didn't start brushing my hair regularly until 6th grade. Not because I didn't want to be hygenic, or look good, or anything of the sort; I just couldn't. I can't explain this any better.
Anyway, I'm a month away from turning 18, and I just don't know what to do. I'm terrified of what the dentist will think. I don't want to have to explain why I have such a hard time brushing and getting into a routine and all those other OCD things that I don't want to explain. My parents never forced me to get braces or have teeth removed and you have no idea how much resentment I have towards them because of that. And now, I'm just unsure what to do. I want to get my teeth fixed, but.. I fear that I (we) won't have the money. I'm afraid that my Dad's coverage of me will run out when I turn 18, too. I'm afraid of having to explain to them why I need so much money because so many things are wrong with my teeth.
What's worse? I KNOW his family dental coverage will not cover braces for me anymore because I'm over 16. I know that I can't get teeth pulled unless they have to be pulled for reasons other than them growing in oddly. And I'm so terrified that I have some horrible infection that will result in pain and sickness and other horrific things. Ohgod.
This feels like so much weight to be holding at 18! I have a beautiful boyfriend, a job and I get good grades, and I'm going to be traveling, but.. having my teeth in this condition is enough to make me panic and forget all of that. I have better things to be panicing about! Like getting into uni and getting my passport and.. normal things.
This is not a normal thing. *sigh*
I'm getting desperate, and I don't like it.