N
nicole_ts89
Junior member
- Joined
- Sep 4, 2021
- Messages
- 15
- Location
- United States
I’ve done it. I’ve made an appointment.
Allow me to share my dental journey.
Growing up, visiting the dentist wasn’t something we did regularly. I suspect it was because I had a young single mother who was struggling financially. I think I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve been to a dentist.
I went twice when I was very young; I don’t have many memories of these times other than just being there.
When I was 12/13 my mom told me she had made me an appointment. I was terrified. I refused to go. I think it had been so long I had no idea what to expect. I did end up going and returned to have two cavities filled and a piece of a baby tooth removed. Surprisingly, this wasn’t a notably bad experience either. I don’t remember feeling any pain or particularly negative feelings.. it kind of just happened.
During my teenage years, I talked my way out of dentist appointments even though my siblings had gone. I don’t know why this anxiety would overwhelm me. When I was about 18 a cycle came again when my siblings and parents had all been to a dentist; my mom pushed me to go as well. I had begun to feel a wisdom tooth pushing through and had developed some aching in my teeth, I agreed to go. Again, this appointment also wasn’t particularly scarring. To my surprise I had no cavities! The dentist mentioned that my teeth and gums were in good condition and that I had been caring after my teeth well. She did mention that my wisdom teeth had started coming in and that may be something I would want to address (this is where the aching had come from).
Fast forward, I’m now 28 and it’s been nearly 10 years since I’ve seen a dentist. I have all of the excuses - I didn’t have insurance anymore, I spent 5 years doing volunteer work, etc. As I have entered “real adulthood” I KNOW this is something I need to prioritize. I haven’t had any traumatizing experiences at the dentist, I don’t really have any reason to be so anxious but I am.
I’m afraid of laying back in that chair, opening my mouth, and being poked at. It’s such a vulnerable state, control is so important to me. (I do have a history of SA, so this might be part of that).
I’m afraid of what they’ll find, that they’ll shame me for not taking care of my teeth. I know I have work that will need to be done. My wisdom teeth have partially erupted, I have on and off pain where I had had those cavities filled, I have sensitivity to cold, more poignant in some teeth. I know I have cavities. I am so worried at how many they’ll find, how bad they’ll be. I don’t want to lose any teeth.
About 6 months ago I enrolled in a dental plan. I thought “I’m not committing to making a dental appointment, I’m just making the option available”. The past couple of weeks I’ve been considering more making an appointment. Eating ice cream has become a painful experience, and I love eating ice cream. I began researching dentists in my area, I do the classic “this person isn’t right because of this reason, that office isn’t right for this other reason”. There is always a reason.
Yesterday I came across a practice that had a simple online appointment system. I didn’t even have time to think about it! Before I knew it I was putting in my information and choosing my appointment time.
I have a dentist appointment September 21 at 0800. That is less than three weeks away!!
My stomach is turning. I’ve been scouring this forum and obsessively Googling since I’ve made the appointment. I already feel like I’ve made a mistake and want to cancel
Allow me to share my dental journey.
Growing up, visiting the dentist wasn’t something we did regularly. I suspect it was because I had a young single mother who was struggling financially. I think I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve been to a dentist.
I went twice when I was very young; I don’t have many memories of these times other than just being there.
When I was 12/13 my mom told me she had made me an appointment. I was terrified. I refused to go. I think it had been so long I had no idea what to expect. I did end up going and returned to have two cavities filled and a piece of a baby tooth removed. Surprisingly, this wasn’t a notably bad experience either. I don’t remember feeling any pain or particularly negative feelings.. it kind of just happened.
During my teenage years, I talked my way out of dentist appointments even though my siblings had gone. I don’t know why this anxiety would overwhelm me. When I was about 18 a cycle came again when my siblings and parents had all been to a dentist; my mom pushed me to go as well. I had begun to feel a wisdom tooth pushing through and had developed some aching in my teeth, I agreed to go. Again, this appointment also wasn’t particularly scarring. To my surprise I had no cavities! The dentist mentioned that my teeth and gums were in good condition and that I had been caring after my teeth well. She did mention that my wisdom teeth had started coming in and that may be something I would want to address (this is where the aching had come from).
Fast forward, I’m now 28 and it’s been nearly 10 years since I’ve seen a dentist. I have all of the excuses - I didn’t have insurance anymore, I spent 5 years doing volunteer work, etc. As I have entered “real adulthood” I KNOW this is something I need to prioritize. I haven’t had any traumatizing experiences at the dentist, I don’t really have any reason to be so anxious but I am.
I’m afraid of laying back in that chair, opening my mouth, and being poked at. It’s such a vulnerable state, control is so important to me. (I do have a history of SA, so this might be part of that).
I’m afraid of what they’ll find, that they’ll shame me for not taking care of my teeth. I know I have work that will need to be done. My wisdom teeth have partially erupted, I have on and off pain where I had had those cavities filled, I have sensitivity to cold, more poignant in some teeth. I know I have cavities. I am so worried at how many they’ll find, how bad they’ll be. I don’t want to lose any teeth.
About 6 months ago I enrolled in a dental plan. I thought “I’m not committing to making a dental appointment, I’m just making the option available”. The past couple of weeks I’ve been considering more making an appointment. Eating ice cream has become a painful experience, and I love eating ice cream. I began researching dentists in my area, I do the classic “this person isn’t right because of this reason, that office isn’t right for this other reason”. There is always a reason.
Yesterday I came across a practice that had a simple online appointment system. I didn’t even have time to think about it! Before I knew it I was putting in my information and choosing my appointment time.
I have a dentist appointment September 21 at 0800. That is less than three weeks away!!
My stomach is turning. I’ve been scouring this forum and obsessively Googling since I’ve made the appointment. I already feel like I’ve made a mistake and want to cancel