• Dental Phobia Support

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Starting Somewhere

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nicole_ts89

Junior member
Joined
Sep 4, 2021
Messages
15
Location
United States
I’ve done it. I’ve made an appointment.



Allow me to share my dental journey.



Growing up, visiting the dentist wasn’t something we did regularly. I suspect it was because I had a young single mother who was struggling financially. I think I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve been to a dentist.

I went twice when I was very young; I don’t have many memories of these times other than just being there.

When I was 12/13 my mom told me she had made me an appointment. I was terrified. I refused to go. I think it had been so long I had no idea what to expect. I did end up going and returned to have two cavities filled and a piece of a baby tooth removed. Surprisingly, this wasn’t a notably bad experience either. I don’t remember feeling any pain or particularly negative feelings.. it kind of just happened.

During my teenage years, I talked my way out of dentist appointments even though my siblings had gone. I don’t know why this anxiety would overwhelm me. When I was about 18 a cycle came again when my siblings and parents had all been to a dentist; my mom pushed me to go as well. I had begun to feel a wisdom tooth pushing through and had developed some aching in my teeth, I agreed to go. Again, this appointment also wasn’t particularly scarring. To my surprise I had no cavities! The dentist mentioned that my teeth and gums were in good condition and that I had been caring after my teeth well. She did mention that my wisdom teeth had started coming in and that may be something I would want to address (this is where the aching had come from).



Fast forward, I’m now 28 and it’s been nearly 10 years since I’ve seen a dentist. I have all of the excuses - I didn’t have insurance anymore, I spent 5 years doing volunteer work, etc. As I have entered “real adulthood” I KNOW this is something I need to prioritize. I haven’t had any traumatizing experiences at the dentist, I don’t really have any reason to be so anxious but I am.



I’m afraid of laying back in that chair, opening my mouth, and being poked at. It’s such a vulnerable state, control is so important to me. (I do have a history of SA, so this might be part of that).

I’m afraid of what they’ll find, that they’ll shame me for not taking care of my teeth. I know I have work that will need to be done. My wisdom teeth have partially erupted, I have on and off pain where I had had those cavities filled, I have sensitivity to cold, more poignant in some teeth. I know I have cavities. I am so worried at how many they’ll find, how bad they’ll be. I don’t want to lose any teeth.



About 6 months ago I enrolled in a dental plan. I thought “I’m not committing to making a dental appointment, I’m just making the option available”. The past couple of weeks I’ve been considering more making an appointment. Eating ice cream has become a painful experience, and I love eating ice cream. I began researching dentists in my area, I do the classic “this person isn’t right because of this reason, that office isn’t right for this other reason”. There is always a reason.

Yesterday I came across a practice that had a simple online appointment system. I didn’t even have time to think about it! Before I knew it I was putting in my information and choosing my appointment time.



I have a dentist appointment September 21 at 0800. That is less than three weeks away!!



My stomach is turning. I’ve been scouring this forum and obsessively Googling since I’ve made the appointment. I already feel like I’ve made a mistake and want to cancel
 
Hi, well done on booking your appointment :)
I made my appointment online, I don't know why but I struggle calling so it takes that pressure off doesn't it :)

Like you though I like things to be right. I've looked at their work, their practice, their reviews.. even whether they had parking so it would be one less concern (I still like to feel I can escape to my car tbh). I think all of this is ok if it helps get you there :)

They'll likely just have a look around your mouth and not do anything too invasive or nerve wracking, if anything is too much though just let them know.
I find the fear is worse than the actual event.. I've seen so many new dentists and they've normally been ok (one was too pushy/didn't listen - so he didn't do anything awful to me as such!). Overall they've been very kind and understanding, it's finding someone who's right for you imo. Good luck, don't cancel and have something nice to look forward to after, some sort of treat as a reward! :p
 
Hi, well done on booking your appointment :)
I made my appointment online, I don't know why but I struggle calling so it takes that pressure off doesn't it :)

Like you though I like things to be right. I've looked at their work, their practice, their reviews.. even whether they had parking so it would be one less concern (I still like to feel I can escape to my car tbh). I think all of this is ok if it helps get you there :)

They'll likely just have a look around your mouth and not do anything too invasive or nerve wracking, if anything is too much though just let them know.
I find the fear is worse than the actual event.. I've seen so many new dentists and they've normally been ok (one was too pushy/didn't listen - so he didn't do anything awful to me as such!). Overall they've been very kind and understanding, it's finding someone who's right for you imo. Good luck, don't cancel and have something nice to look forward to after, some sort of treat as a reward! :p

Thank you for your kind words, booking online definitely does take so much of the pressure off!
And I’ll have to keep that in my mind as I go into this: “they’ll only be having a look”
I do like the idea of planning something nice for myself after the appointment
 
Less than two weeks away now; definitely taking up a lot of my brain space!
 
Hi - well done on booking your appointment! I know what you mean about taking up a lot of brain space - I must be one of the world's worst for being nervous and overthinking what might happen at an appointment. I can't sleep at the moment for worrying about a couple of appointments I have next week. I have problems with my gums and one part is hurting at the moment - my dentist has referred me to a gum specialist and I am dreading what she will say to me! In more rational moments, I try to tell myself that I am not going to achieve better mouth health without appointments and work, so it's something I just have to get through, and I will be pleased when it's done. I am sure you will be OK - anticipation is always worse than the actual event!
 
Good for you for making the appointment! I didn’t visit the dentist in 10+ years and a bad toothache kind of “forced” me into making the appointment. Honestly, making that first appointment & then forcing myself to go to that first appointment was the hardest for me. Things were not nearly as bad as I thought they’d be. I’d created this awful scenario in my own mind that I’d go, get scolded, be told I had a million things wrong with my teeth, need teeth pulled, have to spend my life savings, etc. In reality, I needed two root canals/crowns and two old fillings replaced. That’s it. It’s almost never as bad as we imagine it will be. Wishing you the very best on the 21st! You can do this! ❤️
 
Thanks all for your kind words and stories of your own. Sometimes I think it may be easier to make appointments on short notice so you don’t have time to work yourself up. Only one week left for me ? I picked up one of those small dental mirrors from the drug store to have a better look. It’s been helping me feel better about having a tool in my mouth too. I’ll be sure to keep you all updated when I have my appointment!
 
Well, I didn’t go through with it.
I had a family emergency come up and had to cancel my appointment. Now I’ve just got to work up the nerve and find some time to reschedule.
 
I totally understand! I haven’t been to a dentist for 27 years (I’m 33) and I made an appointment 4 months ago for Oct 4 so here I am unable to sleep and absolutely terrified. I have some teeth that will need pulled, possibly some implants and I’m a nervous wreck. A friend of mine told me to keep my eye on the prize and that’s what I’m trying to do! Best of luck!
 
How did it go for you today?
 
I've been all over the internet reading about health and dental anxiety and I feel as though you are in a similar position to me and there is a positive side to the situation you're in.

You're not in debilitating pain, you're not going because things have gotten terrible, you're being proactive. It may not feel like it right now, but it's true. You're taking preemptive action and you should be proud.

Also, sensitivity doesn't always mean extensive damage, it might not even mean cavities, it might just be a small area of the enamel that has naturally eroded and can be remineralized with the right care/treatment.

You're ahead of the game, you should feel good about it.

My appointment is tomorrow, it'll be the first for me since I was a teenager (I'm 32). I'll let you know how it goes :)
 
Okay, almost two months later and I’m ready to do this again. I changed states which may make things a little trickier but Step 1: I emailed my insurance provider to update my address. I’m now searching for dentists in the area and will be prepared to book an appointment once I get approval from my insurance company
 
I submitted an inquiry for an office I found through my insurance website over the weekend. And then they called me first thing this morning! She offered me an appointment for this Thursday, I kind of panicked and said I needed to think about it. In the afternoon I emailed again and told her I had thought about it. She called me back and we had a conversation. I scheduled the appointment for December 2 for 8:00 so I have some time to prepare. I had expressed in my email that I’m quite nervous and the receptionist was so kind. She said that she understood my fears and explained how the first visit will just be X-rays and an exam (which kind of feels like the worst part ?) and she said that I am “steering the ship” and that we would take things at my pace. I’m feeling so uneasy knowing I’ve got this appointment booked, but I’ve got to do it this time
 
Less than 48 hours until my appointment! I got the reminder messages today... it looks like I’m actually going to go through with it ?
 
I’m 28 too and waited 10 years! I’m experiencing a lot of regret, shame, and anxiety but I know it’s better I go in now versus wait until things get worse.

Good luck!! Many people on this site find it isn’t as bad as they think it will be
 
I’m 28 too and waited 10 years! I’m experiencing a lot of regret, shame, and anxiety but I know it’s better I go in now versus wait until things get worse.

Good luck!! Many people on this site find it isn’t as bad as they think it will be
I’ve been keeping up with your thread too! It looks like you’ve written out almost exactly what is going through my head.
Thanks for the luck! I’ll be sure to update after my appointment
 
You got this! ?
 
Alright, y’all - here it is:

I was feeling so overwhelmed and anxious all night last night and this morning, but before I knew it I was getting ready and driving over there.
The women at the dental office were so friendly and really tried to make things easy.
First was the x-rays - they did a longer set of x-rays with 18 pictures since it’s been a while. This part was pretty uncomfortable at times, but I got through it.
Then, the dentist came in to look at everything. I was nervous about all of the poking, but really it was just a little bit of poking around. He was done before I knew it.

Finally was the verdict: I have cavities on 4 teeth that will need to have fillings done, and I will need to have my wisdom teeth taken out. I’ll also need to come back to get my teeth cleaned; but the dentist and hygienist said that my bone looks good and that I’ll just need a regular cleaning.
The woman at the front said we can take it slow, but I said I’d rather just get it all out of the way. I scheduled the rest of my appointments for later this month! One for my cleaning, and two for two fillings each. They’ll give me a referral for my wisdom teeth.. but it’s not too urgent and I can take some time for that one.
All in all, it did go much better than expected. I was sure I was going to need tons of work done . I am a little nervous about the next few appointments, but I definitely feel like the worst part for me was getting through today.
My next appointment is next week for my cleaning.
 
honestly, it sounds like overall it was pretty good news!

i just had a similar thing, cleaning and then getting 3 fillings in total. the fillings were an absolute breeze, i literally didn't feel anything when they were drilling, and out of the two numbing shots in only felt one. the cleaning was worse overall, but only because it was my first appointment where work would be done, so i was extremely nervous.

by the time you have your cleaning and fillings done you'll be wondering why you were ever scared in the first place. keep it up!
 
I made it through my teeth cleaning today!
The hygienist I saw was so kind and really tried to help me feel at ease. And really, I was less nervous this time. The cleaning was honestly not even that bad - just a little uncomfortable at times.. but I guess that’s probably expected.
I was nervous about the gum probing, but that didn’t hurt at all. I also was really worried about getting my teeth flossed because they’re pretty tight and it’s always hurt when I’ve had them flossed at the dentist, but she was so gentle and it actually didn’t hurt at all either!
The scaling was the most uncomfortable part, but it was pretty short.
I really am surprised at how easy it was today.
Next up: fillings!
 
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