UPDATE
Haven't posted here for ages, but wanted to post an update as today I finally had the tooth extracted that should have been removed pre-covid lockdown. Four years, five dental surgeries and many attempts later (the most recent attempt ending in a failed attempt at IV sedation at a different dental surgery, and me being put on a three year NHS waiting list for extraction under GA) and today I finally managed to have the extraction done , with no IV sedation, no general anaesthetic - just a really good dentist who took the time to listen and to do some desensitisation work with me first (this worked brilliantly, highly recommend).
I did pay to go private for this, but have zero regrets. The surgery is absolutely fantastic, and the surroundings are really pleasant and homely, which makes a big difference to me in terms of feeling comfortable as I'm very sensitive to the environment I'm in, and that can make all the difference in terms of how I feel about treatment.
I did have one failed attempt at the same dentist before the successful one today - but the dentist used that failed attempt to do some desensitisation work with me - applying some gel and a small amount of local at that appointment so that I could experience how it didn't hurt. This helped hugely ahead of the appointment today, when I finally managed it, and although it wasn't top of my list of pleasant experiences in life, it was nowhere near how terrible I had imagined it would be.
I managed it today with 2mg of prescribed diazepam before the appointment (was prescribed 5mg, but only took 2mg as I was new to it and even 2mg affected me quite strongly), and moral support from my partner in the surgery - the dentist was fine with him being in the surgery for hand holding, and actively encouraged him being there to support me, which was hugely appreciated.
The dentist put some numbing gel on my gums first so I didn't feel the injection at all. I did have to have a second lot of local as the first lot worked but I definitely needed a top up for total numbness. I've heard this is quite common with badly infected teeth, that more local anaesthetic is often needed.
I had earphones in with some loud music playing on my phone as I'd been told this was a good idea - it was.
The extraction was painless, just some wiggling of the tooth from side to side and maybe one or two seconds of actual pulling sensation - which was absolutely painless. Then it was out. I was in there for around 15 mins in total, and the extraction itself took around 30 seconds. It would have been even less if it wasn't for the fact that the dentist took his time with the treatment and making sure I was ok every step of the way on account of my anxiety.
He said it was a good job the tooth was out as it was really badly infected - I'm very relieved too, as having that tooth in my mouth has felt like a ticking time bomb and has caused me no end of worry in itself. The dentist was absolutely brilliant, happy to pass the details on to anyone in North East Wales looking for a dentist who is good with anxious patients.
I feel like I turned a corner today. From a very traumatic extraction as a child to this one today - no comparison. Like many people in their fifties I had bad dental experiences as a child and it left me with severe dental phobia - but treatment has moved on so much since then that it's honestly a totally different experience. I don't think I'll be scared again to that extent now that I know how different things are now, and that I can do it.
The thing that made me determined to get this done was knowing that otherwise I was sitting on a 3 year waiting list to have general anaesthetic at a hospital an hour away from my home - and as someone with health anxiety and agoraphobia I just couldn't face all that, and was scared the tooth was going to kick off in the meantime and I'd end up in A & E or at an NHS drop in emergency weekend surgery where they might not be so patient or understanding of my dental phobia and anxiety.
I have to go back for further treatment - either two root canals, or one root canal and an extraction, and after it's all done I want to treat myself to teeth whitening, that's my goal and also my reward to myself for managing to do all this - I'd better start saving up now for that! I'm not nearly so worried about the remaining treatment now, wouldn't say I'm particularly looking forward to it or anything, but the terror has gone and I do feel like I turned a corner today, and that my dental phobia will be way more manageable going forwards.
I did end up changing dentists for all of this, and instead of three extractions (suggested by the previous dentists, who referred me for GA at the local hospital after the last failed attempt at IV sedation) they suggested one definite extraction, one root canal, and one possible extraction or root canal for the remaining tooth.
This isn't a criticism of the previous dental surgery, who were lovely, but they were so overstretched, I was an NHS patient there, and I just don't think they had the time to work with me to overcome my fears, and I totally get why referring me for GA to get all three taken out was where they arrived at after the failed IV sedation attempt. I guess they reached the end of the line with me and felt they couldn't do anything else.
The dentist that I have now is a private dentist who has been really pro-active in taking the time to work with me to tackle and get over my fears. I guess private dentists can afford to take a little more time with patients plus it's in their interests to do so, but mostly I think I just found a dentist who is really skilled at working with anxious patients, and who knows how to work with us.
They didn't charge me for the first failed extraction attempt either, where they did the desensitisation work. This was really appreciated, even though they'd have been totally within their rights to do so. I really did feel that their primary concern was in helping me to overcome my phobia so that I could get the treatment that I needed. As my dentist said, I'm going to be his patient for years to come so they want to help me to overcome this fear. I really appreciated that reassurance that they were prepared to work with me and not write me off.
They actually started me off with a dental hygiene appointment which I was terrified about - they'd suggested a local anaesthetic to help with that. In the end I didn't need the local for that appointment, and I felt so good afterwards, like I'd overcome a hurdle, and that increased confidence helped me with the next appointment, and so on.
So to anyone who is in a similar position I'd say definitely shop around if you are in a financial position to do so, and find a dentist who can help you to overcome your fear, desensitisation worked so well for me - when you build up to the treatment by gradually exposing yourself to it.
I'm lucky that I could afford to go private, I'm not well off by any means, and I'm budgeting to pay for the treatment, but to me it's money well spent. I know many private dentists do payment plans and payment by installments too, and finance options . . so it isn't always the case that you have to find large amounts of money up front. Hope this post helps someone else who is struggling like I was. I don't think I'll ever struggle with dental treatment so badly again - the fear was way worse than the treatment.
