Suicidal over teeth

[Roxie12xx]

Due to the serious neglect and abuse I was put through until I reached the age of 22 I have seriously neglected my teeth. I was abused physical and mental and now am left with sever depression and anxiety. The worst part is that I have managed to escape the abuse but now aged 22 with 3 missing teeth and 6 teeth that are filled I feel my life is over before it has properly began. I consider suicide at least once a day as I am so scared for the future. I work but do not earn nearly enough for dental implants and worry that even if I have the implants once they deteriorate and the fillings deteriorate I will be left no other option than dentures at the age of 40 I am horrified at this thought and feel like since my life has been horrific already it will only get worse. I am in a dark tunnel of depression and feel suicide is my only way out.

 

[Sevena]

This is something you should see a therapist or counsellor about. I don't know where you are based, but in many countries therapists and counsellors will have sliding scale fees based on how much you can actually pay.

You shouldn't have to deal with these feelings on your own. Suicide is never the answer. If you get the urge to take your own life, please look up a suicide hotline in your country and call it.

You might not believe me, but 6 fillings and 3 extractions at age 22 is not actually bad at all, especially considering your circumstances. There are people your age with teeth in much worse condition. There's no reason for things to only deteriorate further if you have good oral cleaning habits.

As we're a dental phobia forum, we can support you and sympathise with you, but we're not equipped to help you with your overall depression and anxiety. Please see about getting some help for that. Suicidal feelings are not normal, and they shouldn't have to be in your life.

 

[Roxie12xx]

Thank you for taking the time to reply to my comment I didn't make my situation clear enough in my first comment, I suffer with post traumatic stress disorder, which I am awaiting counceling for, however because of the situation with my teeth I feel that there is no point continuing with my life as I do not have the correct funds nor can I ever see myself having the funds to correct the problem I have created through the abuse I was exposed to.

 

[krlovesherkids777]

Roxie.

I'm very sorry you are going through this, I remember a time when I felt I was worth nothing and my self esteem and value was in the toilet.. I had HORRIBLE front teeth... horrible.. I hadn't been to the dentist in many years and was very SHameful.. both my mom growing up, the man that abused me, and my husband of almost 10 years at the time, had abused me emotionally , physically, sexually to the point I really believed I was worth nothing and was very ugly.. I walked into this dental office of Dr Koehnen and she changed ALOT.. I used to walk in with my mouth covered and she would say .. "you are beautiful and you shouldn't have to cover your mouth, poeple should see you smile.".. it took several times and through her compassion. she talked me into being brave and pulling my bad teeth in front and getting dentures.. It was a hard thing to do. But she made me feel I was worth something. My ex even kept me from dr/dentist because I "wasn't worth investing in or getting care" well Dr Koehnen showed me she really did care. this was pivotal.. when I got the work. it was hard getting used to the dentures but I felt so much better. and her little bit of compassion got me over a depression slump a bit. YOU ARE WORTH it!!! I hope they can get you in soon for the counseling too, it really does help. !!

 

[Sevena]

I have some trauma too. I know it can make it seem much harder to deal with everything else in your life. Every small problem feels like a big problem, and they pile up, and you don't have the mental energy to deal with them all.

That said, what you're feeling is not normal at all. Having dental issues is not life-ruining. Can you explain more why you feel it is? Like I said, your teeth are not in a remarkably bad state. Why is this the thing you feel has made life not worth living?

 

[brit]

Feeling Depressed or Suicidal?

Find out where to get help if you are feeling depressed or suicidal.

www.dentalfearcentral.org

 

[Stupiddentalfear]

Hi Roxie,

I'm sorry to hear you are feeling like you are over your teeth. I have been in this situation (not the abuse) and it is a horrible dark place to be. Speaking from experience I want to assure you that things can get better with the right support. I also just want to share some tips, as someone who suffers from depression (and as a qualified Counsellor.) Here goes:-

- if you can find someone to confide in/support you through this. Try talking to him/her about how you are feeling. Sometimes the support and compassion of others can come as a huge surprise. It may help you in the moment;
- waiting for Counselling support can sometimes be a long wait. In the meantime why not try a helpline where you can talk to a trained volunteer in confidence. I spoke to the Samaritans when I was at my worst and they were fantastic. If you are outside the UK you could try e.g. Befrienders.org.
- you may want to speak to your GP to get some immediate help. Sometimes anti-depressants or anti-anxiety meds can help. Some of us don't like the idea of relying on pills. If so, try thinking of them as a short term measure that could potentially help you 'where you are at the moment'.
- sincerely I hate to hear of others being in this horrible, horrible place. Please remember the forum if you need to vent or need further support. If you want to pm me, please don't hesitate. If I could be of help to one more person my experience/depression may have served some purpose.

Big hugs x

 

[Roxie12xx]

Thank you all for your kind comments it has made me cry that you would take the time to read my messages and reply to then, the reason that my teeth have made me feel suicidal is because it's a constant reminder of how I did not look after myself, I managed to escape the abuse but now feel that there is no life for me I feel like the future is a place full of horrific times not being able to smile, living alone I feel there is no point continuing when everyday is a constant struggle and I can only see it getting worse I am terrified of the future and cannot face it I am also disgusted in myself for the state I allowed my teeth and life to get into.

 

[Sevena]

I can understand the way you feel, but you don't have to feel this way, I promise.

You didn't bring the problem on yourself. You didn't "fail". Some people don't/can't take care of their teeth and have no problems. Other people take great care of their teeth and have endless problems cropping up. It can be a genetic lottery. The best thing to do is see the dentist and get things taken care of when you can, which it sounds like you have done. You've done the best you possibly could. You should be proud of that.

Having some fillings and extractions doesn't make you a bad person. The horrible future you imagine for yourself is not what's going to happen. Even if you did end up getting dentures at 40 (which I doubt), your life would not be ruined. I have dentures and they don't impact my life negatively at all.

You should definitely talk it out with your counsellor when the time comes. Please ask for help if you think you might hurt yourself. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. It's hard to see a way out through the thick fog of depression, but I promise you can be happy again, and your teeth are not the great shame you think they are.

 

[Stupiddentalfear]

Roxie,

It sounds like you are blaming yourself for your past. But you have said your past was extremely traumatic - you suffered abuse. You didn't ask to be abused and from what you've said you struggled with self-esteem and confidence - you struggled living in a difficult situation. If things had of been different would you have acted in the same way? From what I'm hearing - no!! So, can you really blame yourself?

Try searching for/googling self-compassion. This may help as sometimes our heads are our worst enemy. I know mine was (& still is.)

I know people who have never missed an appointment their whole lives and still have worse teeth than me. I have a friend who has partial dentures (never misses appointments) and you would never know. She has told me she did struggle with the idea of dentures at her age, initially. (Society and the attached stigma.) But, they look better than her natural teeth (and she is no longer in pain.) She has adjusted to them easily and leads a happy life. (Plus, fillings and crowns aren't guaranteed to be problem free.) I guess I'm trying to say that sometimes these things happen - genetics plays a part. But, you can be happy again. With the help of a kind professional and mental health help you can get through this and have a beautiful confident smile once more.

I shouldn't give advice but from my experience...take every day as a little stepping stone and when your mind focusses on the past and makes you feel bad, mentally tell yourself you are not listening. It wasn't your fault. It's
not speaking the truth, 'I will get through this.'

x

 

[Tigergal41]

@Roxie12xx

 

[Tigergal41]

I have gum disease all my teeth are gonna b removed 2 me not good I get called names I suffer bad anxiety I feel so alone

 

[geos]

@Tigergal41 last time Roxie12xx was on this forum was in 2018. You might have more luck starting a new post. Did a dentist confirm to you all your teeth will need to be removed or are you thinking it will be needed? Do you have anyone around that can give you support?

You mention being Tasmanian and are posting on a post regarding suicide.
If you or someone you know is experiencing distress, seek help and support from:

• A Tasmanian Lifeline (1800 984 434)
• Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467)
• Lifeline (13 11 14), or
• access the Lifeline crisis chat service

In an emergency, call Triple Zero (000).

For additional support services, the Tasmanian government offers a list.

 

[linz46]

@Roxie12xx you took words out mi mouth ...its ruining my life wat do ya do coz im there wiv ya lv

 

[linz46]

@Tigergal41 youre not lv me too

 

[parkersluck]

It’ll be alright. Find a dentist that is super sweet and can work with anxious patients if you like. I’m not sure where you live, but some insurance even government insurance will cover some dental visits. I’m so sorry you are feeling this way. I’ve always felt this way about my teeth in the past. And it’s not your fault. It’s alright. I take really good care of my teeth and I have at least 9 cavities and all of my wisdom teeth have to be taken out. I’m going to the dentist on the 23rd and have been so upset about it. It doesn’t sound like your teeth are too bad at all really! Sending love.