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Support needed please

A

apple78

Junior member
Joined
Sep 2, 2020
Messages
13
Location
Engalnd
Hi, everyone I’ve never posted on here before just been reading everyone’s advice.

I am 42 years old and have suffered mental health my whole life. As a child I had perfectly straight teeth except the top front one that stuck out. The dentist were really horrible and would never give me braces. My mum didn’t bother taking me to dentist after. I suffer from real bad bouts of depression and really neglected my teeth. In my early 20s my first tooth chipped but I was too anxious to go to the dentist. I didn’t have no pain so I just left it. Over the next 20 years my teeth and gums were a mess. I have had several breakdowns and numerous health problems my teeth kept breaking. I had abscesses that were so painful but I could not bring myself to go to the dentist. Even though the pain was excruciating I would try to do home remedies and take lots of painkillers. Finally with encouragement from my Son Sister I made an appointment with the dentist. I was so scared and nearly passed out in the fainting room from the fear. She was ok not as bad as other dentists when I was younger but she told me 8 teeth have to be extracted and I would need a deep clean with the hygienist as I had infection on my gums. I had to be sedated for the extractions. I waited a whole 3 months for the extraction and again I was shaking and so scared, not of the pain but of the judgment. When I got to the clinic the dentist s who extracted my teeth were so nice I couldn’t believe it. The recovery was not as bad as I expected considering I had 8 teeth out and they gums are healing up nice and it’s so nice to not be in pain anymore. Now I have to tackle the hygienist. I tried to make an appointment at my dentist but she s fully booked till January so I had to make an appointment and another dentist , who I have not seen before. I’m so scared that they will be mean and judgmental . My gums are a mess and for the first time I’m actually worried about the pain due to corona they will probably have to do a manual cleaning. I’m going on Wednesday but I’m so scared I’m thinking of cancelling. Sorry for the long post I’m just so stressed.
 
Enarete

Enarete

Super Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Sep 18, 2017
Messages
3,094
Hi apple78:welcome:,

what a story, you have been so brave so far! Thank you so much for sharing. It must have been so challenging to get through all the fear and shame and bad memories and avoidance and then manage to go and get the treatment done, it's really impressive. Btw. I smiled inwardly as you wrote "fainting room," sitting there is nerve-wracking, isn't it? Hope you are proud of yourself so far, because you really have a reason to.
Now I completely get how anxiety-provoking it is to have an appointment with someone you never met before. We say that dental anxiety is not about stopping to be afraid of the dentist, but about stopping to be afraid of YOUR dentist. This really is about the trust that has been build over time so seeing someone else can literally feel like starting from zero again, but it sounds like getting the treatment asap has a higher priority for you now.

I was wondering how did you choose the practice for the cleaning and whether they know that you are scared of judgment and pain? And is there anything that you feel may help you to cope? Very often, a good chat with the staff beforehand and explaining your situation helps to gain more trust, and making them able to look after you well...
 
A

apple78

Junior member
Joined
Sep 2, 2020
Messages
13
Location
Engalnd
Hi Enarete, thankyou so much for your kind message. I haven’t spoken to them about my anxieties over the dentist visit, although I think I have come to a point that I will not tolerate rudeness anymore. I can handle constructive advice but I don’t want to be berated. Thankfully I do feel dentistry has come a long way in terms of how they treat patients. I’m still nervous but I will try and explain my situation before I sit in the chair. I hope they are understanding
 
Enarete

Enarete

Super Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Sep 18, 2017
Messages
3,094
... I think I have come to a point that I will not tolerate rudeness anymore. I can handle constructive advice but I don’t want to be berated.
I LOVE this one, @apple78! You just made an important point: being afraid that something will happen is one thing, but that doesn't mean you have to tolerate it. Of course, if a health care professional would be rude or judgmental, you can (and should) leave. That's not the way care or any other service works. Nobody wants to work with rude professionals. So if your journey so far provided you with this confidence and ability to keep your boundaries, then you have the best basis to cope even with a new dentist. Hope you will get a chance to talk to them beforehand and hopefully they are kind. You deserve an amazing dental team that supports you on your journey because you are doing an amazing and brave thing! :you-rock:
 
M

MissM250

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 25, 2020
Messages
120
Location
Victoria
Oh do I understand your state of mind! You did so well :) I'm so glad you found someone to treat you kindly, like you deserve to be treated. I just found one as well, and it makes ALL the difference! Proud of you! :)
 
A

apple78

Junior member
Joined
Sep 2, 2020
Messages
13
Location
Engalnd
Hi everyone. Thought I would give an update. I went to the dental hygienist today, I was stressing all last night and panicking in the waiting room. When I was called in I thought my legs were going to buckle. She was really nice, said I was doing really well with my teeth and to keep it up. I got a full deep clean and my teeth feel and look so much better. I have to go back again in January but I’m not scared anymore. I hope anyone reading this who is afraid to go to the dentist, please just go. No matter what teeth your state ( believe me my teeth were really bad )are in the dentists have seen it all plus they are much better than they used to be.I’m not in pain anymore and I’m so happy. Good luck to everyone who are on the journey with their teeth!
 
M

MissM250

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 25, 2020
Messages
120
Location
Victoria
I'm going for my first major appointment this morning! I'm so very happy things went well for you!
 
letsconnect

letsconnect

Administrator
Staff member
Joined
Jan 1, 2005
Messages
5,313
That's wonderful news - great to hear it went so well 😊! Your hygienist sounds lovely:cloud9:. Well done and congratulations:perfect:!!!
 
J

Jay45169

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 9, 2020
Messages
129
Location
United Kingdom
Hi, everyone I’ve never posted on here before just been reading everyone’s advice.

I am 42 years old and have suffered mental health my whole life. As a child I had perfectly straight teeth except the top front one that stuck out. The dentist were really horrible and would never give me braces. My mum didn’t bother taking me to dentist after. I suffer from real bad bouts of depression and really neglected my teeth. In my early 20s my first tooth chipped but I was too anxious to go to the dentist. I didn’t have no pain so I just left it. Over the next 20 years my teeth and gums were a mess. I have had several breakdowns and numerous health problems my teeth kept breaking. I had abscesses that were so painful but I could not bring myself to go to the dentist. Even though the pain was excruciating I would try to do home remedies and take lots of painkillers. Finally with encouragement from my Son Sister I made an appointment with the dentist. I was so scared and nearly passed out in the fainting room from the fear. She was ok not as bad as other dentists when I was younger but she told me 8 teeth have to be extracted and I would need a deep clean with the hygienist as I had infection on my gums. I had to be sedated for the extractions. I waited a whole 3 months for the extraction and again I was shaking and so scared, not of the pain but of the judgment. When I got to the clinic the dentist s who extracted my teeth were so nice I couldn’t believe it. The recovery was not as bad as I expected considering I had 8 teeth out and they gums are healing up nice and it’s so nice to not be in pain anymore. Now I have to tackle the hygienist. I tried to make an appointment at my dentist but she s fully booked till January so I had to make an appointment and another dentist , who I have not seen before. I’m so scared that they will be mean and judgmental . My gums are a mess and for the first time I’m actually worried about the pain due to corona they will probably have to do a manual cleaning. I’m going on Wednesday but I’m so scared I’m thinking of cancelling. Sorry for the long post I’m just so stressed.
Hi apple ,,,,, Nearly the same story as myself ....I have suffered with my mental issues for along time ... depression, anxiety etc...
And when I was young my mother took me to my first appointment with the dentist...was due to get 2 teeth out ....they ended up taking 7 out ...and when I woke up I was very sick and not in a great state ...that was the start of my fear of the dentist ...roll on to when I was 15 the dentist decided to cut an amount of top gum away from right round just to show more teeth 🤦...that was the last time I went to the dentist I was just traumatized tbh
I went to the dentist last Wednesday for the first time in 30 years because my teeth aren't vgood , well horrendous top row ..the feelings I have leading up to it where terrible 🤦and still have them , but he seems to be a good guy ..... I have to go and get a wisdom tooth out which has a big cavity & iam thinking it will break during extraction on Wednesday at 1:30 and the feelings have returned..hardly eating or sleeping but I have to do this ...and I have to go back in the new year sometime to get alot of work done , a few more extractions, crowns and bridges 🤦 and a root canal ... ordinary people don't understand the trauma of dentist anxiety we have .... I crawl up the walls .....iam just wanting it done quick and easy so I can enjoy the holidays ....iam praying and talking to god that's how bad i feel
 
A

apple78

Junior member
Joined
Sep 2, 2020
Messages
13
Location
Engalnd
Jay45169, bless you I really do feel what you are going through. You think by conquering your first hurdle of actually seeing the dentist it will be better from there. Unfortunately the follow up appointments can be just as daunting.
honestly don’t worry about the extractions. It will be painless and quick. Is it just the one your having out? Mental health with dental phobia is just the worst. Everything is magnified x 100 believe me I understand.
Before you know it this will all be over and you will be on the road to getting your new smile. Best of luck on Wednesday I will be looking out for your updates
 
J

Jay45169

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 9, 2020
Messages
129
Location
United Kingdom
Jay45169, bless you I really do feel what you are going through. You think by conquering your first hurdle of actually seeing the dentist it will be better from there. Unfortunately the follow up appointments can be just as daunting.
honestly don’t worry about the extractions. It will be painless and quick. Is it just the one your having out? Mental health with dental phobia is just the worst. Everything is magnified x 100 believe me I understand.
Before you know it this will all be over and you will be on the road to getting your new smile. Best of luck on Wednesday I will be looking out for your updates
Tbh hopefully it will subside the anxiety feelings if I keep going back ..... But after 30 year gap it's definitely not gonna be a quick fix with me ....iam not a hospital ,doctor , dentist sort of person ,lol ... Always gets to me bad.. hopefully it is Apple quick and easy and home asap ,, can't wait to have a beer tbh ..

.ye it's just the one to be taken out on Wednesday Apple.... And thanks again Apple ...and I hope your good to and hope everything goes well for you ....iam sure I'll put something on here before I go ....and yes I'll keep you all posted 🥺
 
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