Support please

[Shonaxx13]

Hi i have an abcess which is causing me so much pain its affecting my eating, sleeping lip is swollen due to it to. I havent stepped one foot in a dentist for years. Had really bad experiences in past with lots of different dentists. I can be screaming in pain and still cant bring my self to go see a dentist. All my teeth are broken/rotten front ones too. I dont smile i cover my mouth when talking its effecting my whole life. How can i bring myself to take the leap and get help? Im so embarrassed to show anyone my mouth and what dentist will say, think or do. Please any help welcome

 

[Enarete]

Dear Shonaxx13,

sorry to read about your situation, it sounds like you really really need help with that tooth...
Seems you have been terribly unlucky with dentists in the past.. the truth is, a kind caring dentists will understand how difficult things are for you and be only interested in helping you. I understand your feeling of embarassment, however there is nothing to be embarrassed about, after all you haven't done anything wrong! Your past dentists did. And that's something every kind dentist will understand.

Now given how urgent your issue is, the best idea would be to start to look for a dentist in your area. We have a dentist recommendation section here on the forum. It might be a good idea to take a look whether there is anyone from your area or anyone you could imagine traveling to. You can also google and see whether any practice looks nervous patient friendly or even has a section for nervous patients.

Once you had a practice or even more practices you feel might be kind and understanding, the best thing would be to get in touch, via email for example. You could write them what you told us, your post is short but explains your situation really well and every kind dental care professional will understand how difficult things are for you. Once they reply you can see whether they are really kind and willing to help and whether you could imagine to pay them a visit...

Important thing is to understand that even if you see a dentist, it doesn't mean you have to allow them to treat you. You can just see whether you feel ok with them and if not, you can still walk away. You know, once you have a kind dental team, you can think of ways to be able to cope with the treatment, such as sedation etc., but trust and having someone lovely to support you goes first...

All the best wishes and keep us posted

 

[VVD]

Hi, Im really sorry for what are you dealing now. I have a similar situation like you. ( I have a post here from the day before to my first appoitment and updates) it took me more than a year to do that appointment. But I was really tired of no living the life that I want to, Im so depress. I know is scary but hold on that dream of having a beauty smile, can laught without feeling embarrassed. Make step by step, do your appoitment then deal with going and get in to the dentist office, this forum help me to open that door of my dentist. “Literal” I was crying at the back of that door! and I will tell you something that probably most of us agree “ I wish I had it do it before” and not waste too much time. But this was my time and Im really happy. Tomorrow is my second appoitment to a deep cleaning. Still scary for me and still embarresed, but It would be a long journey in my case, but Im glad I took the decision. So I really invite you to hold on how we are gonna feel at the end of our journey!

 

[Shakinginmyboots]

We all seem to think the same thing, what will the dentist think? Really, who cares what this stranger thinks? We need help so let’s get it.

I just went back a few weeks ago after about 15 years! I worried, sweated, stressed for years. Then I just shocked myself by looking up number to place I hear positive stuff about and called and got an appointment for the next day. It was so quick and not thought out. I was scared, but felt a strange relief, like finally this dreaded first visit will be over. Place was great, don’t want to go on and on, until I actually get some real work done, but it was just fine.

I did not make a big deal out of it, but did tell the woman on the phone it’s been a long time and I was embarrassed and she sighed and said, oh don’t be embarrassed. It is a husband and wife team, I got the wife. Saw later on website she is for nervous patients. She was treating me with kid gloves, saying stuff like I will read numbers aloud to assistant, don’t be worried. Lol.
I also wrote on paperwork when asked that I was anxious. I think it helps a lot if they know to make it more comfortable.
Enarete has great advice, email is easier than a phone call. Good luck!

 

[patient]

A few years ago I was in the same situation. I did not have broken teeth but I had a very bad infection. I went to the dentist and she refused to believe me. I asked to have an xray and she said no. I said why and she said because I gave you an xray three days ago and could not detect an infection. I said but that was three days ago and now I am in so much pain. I was crying. She again said I do not think you have an infection. I left that surgery crying. I walked over the road to another dentist and opened the door. I was in so much pain I could hardly speak. I was sobbing. The very kind nurse said I could see the dentist straight away. I told him what had happened and he looked and said you have an infection. He drained the infection and gave me some antibiotics and the pain went away. I then went back to the old surgery and complained and I said I tried to tell the dentist I had an infection and she said no and the other dentist I have just been to confirmed that my suspicions were right. I think it is disgusting and I am never setting foot in this surgery again. I got no apology or anything. That was 10 years ago and every time I walk past that surgery I think of that time. However I suspect that they have different dentists now who are better but even so that experience put me off ever going there again

 

[VVD]

Hi i have an abcess which is causing me so much pain its affecting my eating, sleeping lip is swollen due to it to. I havent stepped one foot in a dentist for years. Had really bad experiences in past with lots of different dentists. I can be screaming in pain and still cant bring my self to go see a dentist. All my teeth are broken/rotten front ones too. I dont smile i cover my mouth when talking its effecting my whole life. How can i bring myself to take the leap and get help? Im so embarrassed to show anyone my mouth and what dentist will say, think or do. Please any help welcome

Hi , hope everything goes well!

 

[Shonaxx13]

Thank you all for your help and support. Ive done it i finally emailed a dentist. Took me awhile to write it but i did. And thats thanks to you all. I never thought of it being the terrible dentist i have had in the pasts fault. I sat and thought back to it all and your right i wouldnt have this horrible fear if i had a good dentist to start with. I know that i have a long way to go but i want to reach my goal. Myself and my partner are going to call a dentist in morning and he is going to come support me. I know that its me that needs to take 1st step and thats going and getting antibiotics to help with the abcess thats the start. If i dont get good feeling fron that dentist ill find another and start treatment i want my life back. Knowing that iam not the only one going threw this is a great help. Thank you all again

 

[krlovesherkids777]

Shonaxx13

Sounds like very positive steps and thoughts! I hope you find a very kind , good and competant dentist. Let us know how your journey goes.! Also glad you have a supportive partner !!

 

[Shakinginmyboots]

Good for you! You took the hardest step.

 

[Shonaxx13]

So an update on my situation. I sat in a dentist's chair for 1st time in 8years! I was crying the whole time but i did it, I also let dentist look in my mouth. Something i thought i could never do. I had a major anxiety attack but i kept myself there i didnt run. I could never have done it without all your kind helpful advice or with out my partner. Go for xray on monday then back for another appointment on 29th to look at plan for treatment. Im so scared but i know i have to do this i want my life back. I want to have a smile back on my face and to finally get married knowing i can smile in the photos

 

[VVD]

Im really happy you made it! ?? having your patner next to you is really great! Keep being strong and focus in your goal when you feel you cant handle it. You will be the most happy Bride!

 

[krlovesherkids777]

Shonax13,

SO glad to hear this!!! You have come a long way and are very resiliant and now you have some positive momentum and experience to get you to the next appt.. I know for me when I have a positive experience I try to go in again soon as I can to build on it and not forget those good feelings Wishing you the most beautiful smile inside and out for your wedding day!!

 

[Enarete]

That's great news, Shonaxx13, congrats and well done!

The first few steps are usually the hardest one. How did the x-rays go on Monday? How do you like your new dentist?