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Support & Success Stories Aren't Helping!

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ScaredMama

Member
Joined
Aug 19, 2009
Messages
98
Location
Alabama
No offense intended for anyone here. But I came to this site hoping it would help. But honestly the success stories are terrifying to me. No matter how much trust I gain from a dentist, or how nice a dentist might be, or how drugged I can get........nothing will make me feel happy about loosing teeth or getting dental work done. I can't understand why teeth can't heal themselves but our boned in our bodies can. I don't take medicine, if I do it's natural.....so the thought of sedation in me is horrifying. No matter how many stories or journals I read, it just doesn't help, it's like reading about my worst nightmare. Does anyone feel this way too?:confused:
 
R

RP

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 20, 2009
Messages
1,834
Location
USA
Before I started having dental work I felt the same way too sometimes, SM. It seemed to reaffirm my fears. Reading things in here made me more scared, or just a word in how they describe their treatment made me shiver.
And there was a period where I couldn't bear to come in here. And there are still days, if my own anxiety is running high, I can't comment on other's posts because I don't have anything positive to say about the dentist.

But....

For every bad experience I could find 5 good ones and there are people with the same fear as me, some worse, some not so bad that are having dental work done. So you realize the possibilities. And the support messages and experts in here have helped me tremendously.

rp
 
A

Audio.Amour

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 24, 2010
Messages
106
Location
Edmonton, AB, Canada
I dont think anybody "likes" going to the dentist.
Be honest with yourself, it's not a fun time and chances are it's never going to be fun.

I wont ever like the dentist, but after comming here I went and had a tooth pulled awake!! It's not about liking the dentist, it's about not liking the dentist but knowing you can and will do it anyway.

I never would have thought I could handle it, but I did and so can you.
I hate the dentist and that will never change, but now I know that even though I hate it and it's scary, I can handle it.:)
 
C

celle54

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 23, 2009
Messages
459
SM...when I had my oral surgery in Sept 09..I was IV sedated. My experience for me was positive..Ok then I had to have round two..exposing the rods in my jaw. Lord what to do, I was so scared out of my wits. I sat and talked to my surgeon, I told him how great round one was and that I really liked him and I trusted him..thats the biggest thing..TRUST!!
I had my second round and I was not sedated :) I was a big girl :) Doc knew I was scared..we talked big time..I even gave him orders that I wanted him to talk to me while exposing the rods..dont talk to me about doing it..chit chat to me..and all the while yes my eyes were closed tight as drums and my hand holding onto the other hand tightly.
I will not lie and say the injections for me did not hurt..yes they did but it was because the needle was put right at the base of the rods in my lower jaw..after that..it was a breeze..I felt not one thing and then I was able to open the eyes and finally breath better and let go of myself.
Fear of the unknown is horrible...please dont let it play on you. I thought of all the what ifs too..When I was little a big bad detist did hurt me..he broke all my teeth on my lower jaw and other things..
Try to put bad expericene behind you..you have good things coming your way with the right dentist..never settle until you have found that person..they make all the difference in your dental journey.
Big ole hugs to ya
Marcelle
 
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ScaredJulie

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 15, 2010
Messages
209
Location
Essex. United Kingdom
SM :XXLhug:
I know exactly how you feel, I read and read and scared myself even more, even though they were all positive stories, I needed to have all my teeth out, the thought of losing them horrified me, I was so scared, of everything, the dentist, the procedure, having to have dentures, took me almost 3 years to manage to even walk in the dental surgery in floods of tears,I hadn't been in years. I felt suicidal at times, which looking back was ridiculous, I have a wonderful hubby, 4 great kids and 4 beautiful grandbabies. I can honestly say 3 weeks down the road after having them all out, I wonder why I was so scared, I have a wonderful dentist, the IV sedation was fantastic, I was in pain after but only because I had infection in lower jaw, which was soon under control. I am still back and forth to dentist for adjustments and I'm still scared, but its so worth it, to be able to look in the mirror, to smile without embarrassment and my confidence is slowly returning.
We all know exactly how you feel and are with you all the way
:grouphug:
 
B

BundleOfNerves

Member
Joined
Mar 5, 2010
Messages
28
SM.. Like everyone else on here, I completely understand how terrified you are. I too suffer from both anxiety and depression, and like you, am not on any meds for it. However, it's not because I prefer au-naturel, it's because A) I cannot afford to regularly see doctors (no health insurance) and B) DH and I are trying for a baby, so I don't want antidepressants causing any problems should I become pregnant.

Have you ever considered being hypnotized to at least attempt to conquer your fear? It's natural, no drugs required, and although I can't be 100% on this, I'm sure there are certified hypnotherapists that would work with you in your own home. It's worth considering.

I have an awful lot of treatment ahead of me (including an extraction tomorrow morning - I made the appointment earlier today just to get it out of the way) and yes, I am scared to death about it all.
But you know what?
Sitting here on my own with my own thoughts, I've actually started to really question what it is I am afraid of. I have had some terrible dental experiences (and witnessed some when I was a dental assistant) but the same inner-question always come up: "Will this matter in 6 months time?"
The answer is NO!

Am I still anxious and upset and scared about treatment that hurt me 6 months ago? Nope. Am I happy now that I got it done? Yep.

Your biggest hurdle right now is getting your anxiety and depression treated. Once you start feeling more confident in yourself and less panicky, THAT'S when to think about making a dental appointment.
Someone on here wisely said that it's like eating an elephant - you can't swallow it whole, so take one small bite at a time!
Whether it's with Medicare/Medicaid/Carelink or through a church, please try and seek help for your anxiety issues first.
Once that is more under control, YOU'LL feel more in control and will find the strength to make that first step.

I truly do empathize with you after years of battling the same demons myself, but please believe me... nothing would make your depression worse than if you were to lose your precious teeth or the pain that comes with poor dental health. I'm sending you a big hug and mean it when I say that as long as you're pro-active in fighting your phobias, then things WILL start looking up.
:XXLhug:
 
S

ScaredMama

Member
Joined
Aug 19, 2009
Messages
98
Location
Alabama
Thanks all for the responses. The strange thing is, I'm not even sure if I have a dental phobia. I've never had a bad experience. I've had such severe anxiety/panic/depression for 15 years (many years homebound), that I'm not even sure what phobia's I may/may not have. I know the dentist does make me nervous, mainly because I've only gone 3 times in my life (I'm 31), it's just not familiar to me.
I think I do need to start working on the anxiety/panic.......
 
D

drummerswife

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 30, 2009
Messages
1,251
Location
omaha, nebraska
I can relate to what you said SM. Some of the stories here were rather frightening when I fisrt strated reading them AND strange as this may sound I found a measure of comfoirt in that at the same time because I read, and continue to read, stories of people who have gone through things worse than what I have had to face and, even though they were scared to death, they did it and were the better off because of it and this has helped bolster my own courage to not only deal with my own dental issues but has inspired in me a desire to help others who are just as terrified as I am.
Blessings to you SM
 
S

Stress Doc

Account Closed
Joined
Dec 10, 2008
Messages
788
Everyone is correct. Confronting fear is not comfortable and can be scary. However, not confronting it is the scariest of all because eventually you will need to deal with the problem and the problem will have grown.

Growth by definition involves discomfort. If you desire to get in shape I can guarantee you there will be discomfort and pain. This will pass. Trying to live life by avoiding everything that causes pain is defeating because the fear will govern your decisions. Fear fades in the face of positive action.

RP and drummerswife are two people I have come to know and admire. I will speak about them because I know their stories more than most. They are a shinning example of what is possible when you choose to not let the fear rule you or govern you life. They have had good days and not so good days, but they never quit or throw in the towel. They are like the energizer bunny, they keep going and going and going.

I recently had the privilege of meeting Michael Phelps the greatest gold medal winner of all time. He said "There are many days when I hurt and was in pain. The last thing in the world I wanted was to get back in the pool. It was on those days I grew the most. I trained 7 days a week, 4-6 hours per day for 5 years. Every other swimmer would train 6 days a week. My routine gave me 52 extra training days per year. This is one reason I won."

There is wisdom in that. Never give in, demand more from yourself than anyone would ever ask.

I also have the privilege of coaching RP in her journey. I know she will have victory because she has the desire to win. Every time she has an appointment and summons the courage to sit in the chair she is winning because she shouting "No way" to the fear. This is true courage.

Drummerswife is much the same. She has made the journey from abject fear to firm resolve one step at a time. She has said "yes" to life and pushed through. Despite many setbacks and surprises she has found the heart to work through it.

I am honored to know both of these people. They are truly extraordinary. This forum is filled with many people cut from this same cloth. If the world were filled with honorable people like the ones on this forum it would be a much friendlier, supportive and encouraging place. The encouragement and support is like a lighthouse beckoning safe harbor to ships tossed about by fear and defeat.

To be a part of this is amazing. It has enriched my life and given me the desire to pursue my desires.

Thanks for taking the time to read this.

Blessings :D
 
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