• Dental Phobia Support

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Teeth and mental health?

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Mum1986

Member
Joined
Apr 18, 2021
Messages
32
Location
Stockport
I have posted previously about how I have decided after burying my head in the sand for so long that I want to sort my problems out..I have lost teeth on my upper right side and I literally pretending like it wasn't a problem for so long. Now I seem to have 'woke up' and know I need to sort it.

I have registered with a dentist and have to wait until 5th July for my first appointment..I understand why and I understand its my fault for leaving it for as long as I did, but I am struggling. It's all I can think about and I am struggling to motivate myself in the mornings ( 2 school age children to look after) I just feel like there is no point as I have I have ruined my teeth (I know how stupid this sounds) I spend hours looking on forums like this and scarring myself about the outcome and even imagine the dentist telling me there is nothing they can do and I will just have to live with no teeth on one side or telling me that it is all my fault and I have disgusting teeth.

I have been lucky so far in life that I have never struggled with my mental health but now I feel like my teeth and my long wait for appointment is wearing me down and I am struggling?

Has anyone else had this? Xx
 
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Molar_bear

Well-known member
Forum Buddy
Joined
Mar 5, 2021
Messages
163
Location
England
Hi ?

First of all a huge congratulations on taking the first steps in your dental journey and booking an appointment
:welldone:

I think many people on here can resonate with your post. I know I certainly can. I avoided for many going to the dentist and the visible issues developing with my teeth.

When I finally after many years went back I went through all he emotions. The anger and sadness with my self for waiting so long when untimately I had to go through the process. Why did i
Not so it sooner etc. But honestly. I just wasn’t in the place or the mind set. And I have accepted that now and focus on how proud I am of myself for getting to this point. It’s easy to be negative and beat our selves up over things we shouldn’t. Sadly part of the parcel of human emotions. It’s not your fault. I think what I want to say is that it’s not to late, there isn’t nothing they can do. There is so many advancements and options in dentistry. Your teeth are not ruined or disgusting and there are many things that can be done. And honestly most of the time we worry more needs doing than the reality as I found.

I understand what you mean about it being consuming of your motivation and mental energy. I was in a similar position of just wanting to get my first appointment over and done with but having to wait to and therefore it was never far from my mind and worrying me. Try if you can to find something nice to distract yourself, I know it’s hard. But think it’s not too far away until it will be over. Can your ask the practice to notify you of sooner cancellations?

Hope my experience can be somewhat reassuring for you. Here to help if I can.
 
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LauraQ68

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 27, 2021
Messages
108
Location
California
As Molar_bear said, you are not a lost cause! It doesn't matter how long its been, your first appointment is how you get back on the road to dental health. And a good dental team will never berate you for how long its been or what your teeth look like. I am the Queen of Dental Fear and I managed two appointments in the last two weeks, one of which included two root canals! It was SO HARD to do. I had myself all in a knot both mentally and physically. I have more work that needs to be done and I will be nervous about that, as well, but nothing like the first appointment. Waiting was the most difficult part for me. I don't wait well! It was extremely hard to manage my emotions leading up to my appointments, so I totally understand what you're talking about. My best advice is this: be kind to yourself. Constantly fight back against the negative thoughts in your head. Tell yourself you're going to be okay, you will get through this, you are stronger than you know. And what a wonderful lesson you will be showing your children: that you matter and are worth taking care of!

Hang in there,
Laura
 
M

Mum1986

Member
Joined
Apr 18, 2021
Messages
32
Location
Stockport
Thank you both so much, honestly you don't know how much I needed to hear this! ? I just need to feel hope (which I havebeen strugglingwith lately), for the first time in a long time I am determined to do this, which is why I am finding it hard to wait for the appointment as I wanna just get the ball rolling.

I know once it gets closer to my appointment I am going to be scared and nervous but my mum will be taking me and I have honestly found this forum so so helpful to get to this point! I just wish I had found it years ago, however like you mentioned I too was obviously not in the right head space!

My children both have great teeth hygiene and go to dentist regularly - the one good thing to come out of my own personal phobia is I have been determined my children will not go same way as me!

Thank you so much again, you both honestly don't know how much that has helped! Xxxx
 
K

keikokeiko

Member
Joined
Apr 25, 2019
Messages
20
Location
California
Let me reassure you, nothing you say or think is stupid, not at all! I'm SO proud of you for making your appointment! That's the HARDEST part in this entire journey, and YOU DID IT!!!! :party: I can completely relate to how you are feeling because I was there too! I had SO much guilt about my mouth, the longest I had avoided seeing a dentist was over 10 YEARS. I too have missing teeth, after letting them just continue to break off because I was too embarrassed or scared to ask for help, and scared sick the dentist would be disgusted with me. Never once happened! I finally realize that dentists WANT to help us, and more dentists out there are recognizing how many of us have anxiety and are willing to work with us at our own pace. My teeth were an absolute source of my degrading self-esteem for YEARS (my poor bf was always at the butt-end of my outbursts, bless him for dealing with me lol). I never even imagined I could type out the word 'dentist' without feeling a pit in my stomach, but I PROMISE, if I can do it, you absolutely can too! I know, I know, that's SO cliche, but it's SO true!!! Please keep us updated on your journey! We're all here to cheer you on! :grouphug:
 
M

Mum1986

Member
Joined
Apr 18, 2021
Messages
32
Location
Stockport
Let me reassure you, nothing you say or think is stupid, not at all! I'm SO proud of you for making your appointment! That's the HARDEST part in this entire journey, and YOU DID IT!!!! :party: I can completely relate to how you are feeling because I was there too! I had SO much guilt about my mouth, the longest I had avoided seeing a dentist was over 10 YEARS. I too have missing teeth, after letting them just continue to break off because I was too embarrassed or scared to ask for help, and scared sick the dentist would be disgusted with me. Never once happened! I finally realize that dentists WANT to help us, and more dentists out there are recognizing how many of us have anxiety and are willing to work with us at our own pace. My teeth were an absolute source of my degrading self-esteem for YEARS (my poor bf was always at the butt-end of my outbursts, bless him for dealing with me lol). I never even imagined I could type out the word 'dentist' without feeling a pit in my stomach, but I PROMISE, if I can do it, you absolutely can too! I know, I know, that's SO cliche, but it's SO true!!! Please keep us updated on your journey! We're all here to cheer you on! :grouphug:

Wow, well done! You are where I want to be so bad, it's amazing I found this forum as it is helping me so much, I know I have a long way to go but just knowing there are lots of other people who feel or have felt like me makes me feel alot more normal and even more determined to sort this problem!

I relate so much about the self esteem, my fella takes the brunt of it most of the time too...I feel so awful about myself and its all consuming so I can be short tempered and snappy! But after receiving all the messages of you lovely people today really has made me feel kinda like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders and that I can survive till my appointment in July! I know I am gonna have ups and downs but I am going to keep coming here to get my motivation! ?

I honestly think all of you are amazing not only for conquering (or in the process of) your fear but also spending time helping people like me who is right at the beginning. I will keep you all updated and hopefully it will be good news ? xxx
 
M

Molar_bear

Well-known member
Forum Buddy
Joined
Mar 5, 2021
Messages
163
Location
England
finding it hard to wait for the appointment as I wanna just get the ball rolling.

I know once it gets closer to my appointment I am going to be scared and nervous but my mum will be taking me

I know this cycle too, oddly excited (yet terrified) for my appointment to come to get it over and done with, to feel proud of myself and relieved! It’s a huge weight off the shoulders afterwards.

Honestly that’s totally normal to get nervous as it gets closer and understandable. But you will get though it, even if it doesn’t feel like it then. And yess having support with you is great ?
 
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