• Dental Phobia Support

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Terrified in Baltimore

T

TerrifiedInBmore

Junior member
Joined
Apr 20, 2021
Messages
2
Location
Baltimore, MD
I'm a 47year old, latin man currently residing in suburban Baltimore MD... and I'm having a crippling issue in which I'm completely terrified of having to go to the dentist. I've a molar that has been rotting for about a year. It has been crumbling slowly, to the point that last week I thought it has completely crumbled over. It doesn't hurt, thankfully, but my breath has been putrid for months now and it's majorly impacting my life.

I am terrified of the surgical procedure that will surely have to happen to take out the rest of the molar and cover the hole. I'm also unemployed and don't have the prerequisite amount of funds for the procedure (which was quoted to me around $2 grand cumulative at NYU School of Dentistry back in 2019). I'm mostly afraid of the pain... so much so I've refused to look into my mouth for the past few days since another chunk of the molar crumbled while I ate. Even though it doesn't hurt, I've a lot of shame and fear about this. I know its irrational, but it still cripples me. I cried for a long time then...and I just cried now again.

I live with my elderly mother, who wants me to go see her dentist, but I can't face it. I can't seem to face it at all. I don't know what I will do. But I know the stench from the tooth is something awful and I can see it on people's faces whenever I have to go run an errand. Obviously, I can't get close to another person due to this now, so I'm single.

I've to do something before a major mishap happens and then the major pain will start. Thank you for reading this and for any advice your may have.
 
Hi there - I wanted to let you know that a lot of people here have felt that same shame you’re dealing with right now, including me. In my case, the pain and discomfort finally forced me to do something that was terrifying at the time - to have a dentist see what I’d let happen to my teeth. It wasn’t easy but I was in agony most of the time and just couldn’t take it anymore. But I was able to find a very sympathetic and understanding dentist. I never felt like they were judging or shaming me and this helped immensely.

Some of my teeth were completely broken off to the gum line - I’ve seen a few responses from the dentists on here that those are usually easier to remove than unbroken teeth.

Maybe you could start by searching for dentists in your area who advertise that they specialize in phobic patients. It seems to me that the dental school would not be the best place for you. As for the cost, it depends on what results you’re looking for. A single extraction would be much less that an extraction and an implant. You could always go back later to get an implant. I only mention this as you said you’re not in pain now but you’re terrified of pain. If you just have the tooth extracted now you wouldn’t be focused on waiting for the pain to start. A good dentist will allow you to proceed at your pace and not pressure you into procedures you may not be able to afford right now.

Best of luck.
 
Hi TerrifiedInBmore:welcome:,

sorry to read about your situation. It sounds like you're struggling a lot, but your writing here shows that you are also willing to find a way to tackle this. I was wondering where your fear comes from and how long has it been this way? Having a bit of clarity about this sometimes helps to move things forward.

You mentioned being afraid of pain - do you mean possible pain of the treatment or possible pain coming from the molar? I was also wondering whether a dentist indicated that the tooth would need to come out surgically.. because - like BoxerMom mentioned and as strange as it sounds- removing teeth broken at the gum line is often easier than teeth that are still there. You can read about it here. Dealing with shame and fear is not irrational at all btw. If you had a bad experience with dental treatment in the past, like most people do, it is normal to struggle with fear. And even without bad experiences, there is a sense of not knowing what to expect and that can be anxiety-provoking too. And shame? That's the most loyal companion to everyone who deals with dental fear. Be it shame about having the fear, shame about the state of your teeth, sometimes it's about how we feel about ourselves anyway.. at any case, shame can be more agonizing than any tooth ache.

When it comes to cost, you can always spread it. Don't know what the 2 grands were for, but my feel is it was the quote for doing all at once. Most treatment plans work like that. But there is still the option to discuss it and just do the necessary thing. Here are two links that may be helpful:



Sending you well wishes and hope you will be able to find a way to deal with this. ?
 
Hello,

Thank you for your responses, BoxerMom and Enarete. I want to give a follow-up/resolution to my situation.

After all my worrying and anxiety, yesterday was the day I finally faced my fear. My mother referred to her dentist, who was simply going to offer an assestment. The dentist assessed me and immediately referred me to another dentist/oral surgeon to be seen on the same day, as the molar needed to come out as soon as possible.

I was afraid but trusted the first dentist's referral. I didn't let my mind rest upon my fears and decided to let the dental professionals do their work. My mother offered to cover the cost of the procedure, which came at about $350. On the oral surgeon's office, the receptionist, and assistant were complete professionals, taking me swiftly thru the steps. X-rays were taken and I was promptly placed on a chair and prepared. I expressed briefly that I was hesitant but the assistant reassured me and swiftly applied the local anesthetic.

After some mins to let the anesthetic set, the dental surgeon came in and applied the numbing injections, which weren't painful as I had expected. The area was well anesthetized and after letting it anesthesia set for 10 mins, the surgeon went about his work.

The dental surgeon and assistant worked and were perfectly in sync. They worked fast and the tooth was removed quickly. I was susprised as to how quickly and professionally they worked. The dead molar that had been the bane of my existance for a year was removed within 5 minutes.

I'm now at home, absolutely relieved and grateful for the professionals who worked so swiftly, having now acquired a newfound respect/admiration for medical professionals. I'm not in any pain and the bleeding was controlled within a few hours after the surgery by applying gauze to the area. There's no bleeding at all today. I was prescribed antibiotics to take care of any remaining infection.

I'm quite happy today and looking forward to able to speak to people without worrying about horrid breath issues. I also avoided a very painful situation just right before it could have turned worse thanks to the first dentist's emergency referral. I feel stronger now that I finally faced my fears.
 
Thank you so much for coming back and giving us the update. The dental staff did an amazing job, but so did you! :welldone:

I'm so glad that all went well. Having a positive experience is always important, but during emergencies even more so.

Wishing you a speedy recovery and enjoy the feeling of relief and strength after you finally faced this :cloud9:
 
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