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Terrified of Dentist, worry daily about teeth. Need to get off the fence.



Junior member
Mar 18, 2013
North Carolina
I have some issues here.

I am not just being a pu$$y...at least I hope I'm not.

When I was a kid I had to go to the dentist a lot because I apparently had "soft teeth" and
was getting cavities a lot. My dentist was MEAN, and I mean MEAN. My parents did not come
back with me and he used to yell at me, swear, and once when I cried at the sound of the drill
he covered my mouth with his hand and squeezed and yelled at me he didn't ask if I wanted him
to use the drill or not and to shut up. I was only about 9 or 10 at the time and it terrified me
so much I never went back, and my parents didn't believe me, said he'd been family dentist for
years and I was making it up. I know what happened.

I am almost 26 now and haven't been to the dentist since, not even for a cleaning or a consultation,
so as I'm sure some of you professionals can imagine, they are NOT in good shape.

I always brushed and said Elf it, I'm not worried about it, until recently. I had gotten up from a
night of my usual hard liquor drinking and my breath was terrible as per norm. I rinsed with
some wash, brushed, and as I was flossing a piece of my front tooth broke off. It was a tiny piece
from the back but it scared the crap out of me, so I grabbed my Endoscope (I'm a mechanic) and stuck
it in my mouth and found that the back of my two front teeth have cavitie(s) in them, starting to
become visible from the front, and then I noticed black spots on the back teeth as well. I grabbed one
of those floss sticks and tried to clean around the back ones, I'm having a full blown panic attack by
this time (happens a lot :redface:) and while cleaning half the entire tooth and the tooth next to it broke off!
All I could see was brown and black, and now my gums are swollen around them and they cause me constant pain and are scraping my cheek with the sharp parts which makes it hard to eat, chew, anything.

I "think" I can afford to have it taken care of, but I can't get to the dentist. I've had two appointments in
the last week and I get to the office, sit in the waiting room, panic attack hits and I leave.

I'm afraid they will break, I'm afraid I will have to have all my teeth pulled and get dentures, I'm afraid the
dentist will be a dick, which as an adult I'm much better equipped to deal with, but still scared.

Also, on that same dentist visit, I was being given a shot of something-caine in my cheek or gum (couldn't feel) and they said they "missed" and my cheek was swollen literally the size of a baseball and was black on the outside and bruised. They said my vein "must have been higher than they expected" and it stayed that way
for almost two weeks, going down slightly daily.

I sincerely apologize for the diatribe, but I am sincerely scared of the dentist, and of the breakage, the scolding, the dentures, the fact they might not be able to fix them, etc.

Please give me an honest answer here. Can my teeth be fixed well enough that nobody will be
able to tell if I take care of them after fixed? Also, are most dentists like that one guy, or are
most friendly? I really don't know. He's the only dentist I ever went to. I assume he was the exception
to the rule and should have been reported, but that was 15 or so years ago...

Help, please, before I am embarrassed to see or speak to customers anymore. I know I am just a mechanic, but I'm not a dirty, don't GAF mechanic, I dress nicely and don't want to have to grow a mullet and trashy facial hair to match my teeth.

Thanks to everyone who bothered to read this. I can post pictures if you guys need them, but I won't unless
you do, because I'm embarrassed.

It's one of those "too little too late" cases, because it's been so long that now I have all these questions and
noway to answer them.

Hope this forum is what I hope it is, and I hope there are some real DDS in here with advice.
Quick background on me. I finally went to the dentist when I was a kid and the dentist was so bad that it traumatized me till the age of 24.

I use to feel like you did. I just turned 27 and started finally going to the dentist at the age of 24. Mostly because I wanted to have nice teeth for once in my life and because I felt I reached the age where I need to get rid of this fear. You are from the states so this is going to be a little easier.

The first thing that has to be done is finding the right dentist. Now, the most truthful thing I can say here in the states is that PUBLIC dentists are not the ones you will ever want to go to. Basically, the dentists who accept Medicaid or state aid. They are the ones who rarely talk to you and just wanna pull things. That being said, finding the perfect dentist is not that hard actually. What you need to do is look online for dentists around your area that have a ton of great reviews.

Now I can't lie. When I first went to a new dentist, I popped a few xanax because I was freaked out. Now the thing is, you don't have to worry about ANYTHING during the first visit to a new dentist because they will not do anything to you. They will take some Xrays and check your mouth out.. and then set up what they want to do. They make you a treatment plan. Not to mention you meet the dentist and get to know him and tell him your fears. So the first appointment should not even remotely worry you because nothing will happen.

Now the guy I go to made me comfortable. Was I scared when I was first getting work? Yes of course. Then you start to realize something when in that chair. You start to realize you're a man and won't show any fear to these people lol. I know I did. There were good looking women helping and I was not going to get scared. As long as I was completely numb, I never felt ANYTHING DURING ANY PROCEDURE. There should be no pain in dentistry. If there is, I blame whatever dentist people are seeing for not caring enough to make sure they feel no pain. Luckily most are not like that.

Now anything wrong with your teeth can be fixed. Just knowing that it can be fixed is a great feeling. I remember when he gave me the list of everything I needed done. 7 fillings. 2 root canals. Deep cleaning. Braces. Added up to 12,000. In the end though, it never came close to that, because of the discount plan, and because a caring dentist who you give business to will be willing to help you with prices. Mine does all the time. Even does some things for free since I been going for so long. It took a long time to finish everything I needed done, but now it is. I have braces on and just got a root canal like it was nothing. I watched tv while he was doing it and was bored out of my mind. That is coming a long way for hating the dentist and being scared to see him. After about 5 or 6 visits, I never needed a pill to calm me down ever again.. Even if you do, a dentist can prescribe you some to help you before you get work done.

So in the end, yes anything can be fixed and I am sure you are not past the point of no return. Everything can be fixed. It just takes time.. but that time is well worth it.

Good luck. :jump:
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