- Mar 30, 2022
I have a decent history of abuse and trauma. These things had been dealt with, however, a dentist (back in early December) brought these events back up. By that, I mean that their refusal to give me nitrous, their refusal to listen to me about my (at the time) general dental anxiety, etc, led me to have a breakdown in the office and made me feel as though I was being raped all over again...by the dentist. Since then, I have been completely phobic of the dentist (prior to this point, I was only anxious). At this time, no dentist will see me unless I am sedated. I don't want to be sedated, for many reasons I won't go into here at this point. However, since no one will see me, I have been forced to accept sedation for needed treatment. I wasn't a fan to begin with, but now I'm finding that the most common oral sedation is Midazolam, a medication I'm familiar with from lithotripsy and endoscopy, a medication that does not really even sedate me. I'm still fully aware of what is happening around me and to me. I am absolutely terrified that that I will be fully cognizant of everything that I'd happening, but will be unable to say or do anything about it, much like the dental appointment that brought my past back up in the first place.