• Dental Phobia Support

    Welcome! This is an online support group for anyone who is has a severe fear of the dentist or dental treatment. Please note that this is NOT a general dental problems or health anxiety forum! You can find a list of them here.

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the beginning, I guess



Junior member
Aug 27, 2022
Okay, so I actually made this account a while ago but never posted because I was too shy/awkward lol, but now that my first dentist appointment in quite some time is tomorrow, I'm terrified.

I'm 19 and have had very poor teeth for a good number of years now because throughout my teen years I was severely depressed and my days were merely: wake up, eat a tiny breakfast, wait for my parents to go to work so I could force myself to throw up that breakfast, go to school with no lunch, go home, find some trash to eat and go to bed. Basically, I had less than zero care for myself and thus, brushing was forgotten about. Now, of course, I'm kicking myself for this, because I have 3 broken molars (one of which is totally in half), the centre of my two front teeth has gone bad and probably some number of other problems.

I've avoided going to the dentist for a long time, only having a few visits sporadically, but since having my face swollen up from an abscess, my mother had finally made an appointment for me. I know it's pretty pathetic having my mom do it, but I'm so insanely anxious and terrified of the dentist, I'd probably drop dead before being able to do it myself, I struggle leaving the house by myself half the time. I've been freaking out about the appointment since then, even just thinking about it makes me stressed enough I find it harder to breath and I struggle not to cry, which makes me even more worried about what I'll be like actually AT the appointment.

I do really hope to finally not be so insecure about my teeth and not feel so ashamed to have people look at me. I'll probably try to post here with updates every now and again.
Hello @Raggedy,

fair play to you for working up the courage to get help :) . There's nothing wrong with getting someone else to make the appointment for you, whether that be a parent, a partner, or a friend - most of us here know how incredibly hard and frightening it is, and there's absolutely nothing pathetic about getting someone else to make that call!

Maybe treat tomorrow's appointment as a get-to-know-you meeting - it's your chance to see if you like this dentist and if you want to hire them. Have a nosey around our website, for example, you can find some of the best tips that have been shared here on the forum on this page:

Wishing you all the best for tomorrow, please let us know how you got on :XXLhug:
@Raggedy hey there. Don't be hard on yourself. You're taking the first steps and really, about your mom setting up your appointment, as an adult I really miss when someone would take the reigns and get me to do something. Don't be hard on yourself about that.

Try to focus on just one POSITIVE thing. If the dentist isn't sympathetic to what you need then you need to find a different one. They aren't all horrible and unfeeling. Try to imagine it going well. It's easy for us to think of the worst but what if it turns out great?

Put in headphones, blast some music, tell the dentist up front you're struggling.

You're still young, don't be like me and wait ages and ages.

Little steps. When you feel overwhelmed don't over look that YOU'RE THERE! YOU MADE IT OUT YOUR HOUSE! YOU MADE IT TO THE OFFICE! Celebrate the victories. They aren't small, none of the steps we take are small. Celebrate you. And even if you find you don't make it, celebrate trying anyway and then try again another day.
Hoo boy, just got back from the appointment, and it wasn't so bad until I said yes to having my very broken molar extracted. I actually began to pass out halfway through. But it was necessary of course, the tooth was beyond saving, and I knew that and I'm glad it's over with now, even if I have a lot of soreness to deal with now for however long. I think I'll probably be living on soup and very liquid oatmeal for a little while, because I'll be too scared of chewing lol
Well done Raggedy! You've done the first step! 👏👏👏
@Raggedy you made it! Soup is my best friend right now. Like you I'm afraid to chew. Congratulations on making it! Celebrate your win! Even if it's just tossing the blanket in the dryer and immediately cuddling up in it. Simple celebrations add up.
Very good advice from @mariyam there! That'll hopefully be the end of the abscess. Well done @Raggedy and congratulations!

P.S. we've got a page with soft food suggestions here which might come in handy: