S
Sardine
Junior member
- Joined
- Aug 16, 2019
- Messages
- 5
- Location
- UK
Hello, I am in my twenties, transgender male, and have significant mental health problems (including panic disorder, general anxiety disorder, and social anxiety disorder, as well as autism), and a fear of the dentists.
A month or so ago, I saw the emergency dentist who started the process of a root canal. I was terrified, but she was very kind and respectful. She said I'd have to see my regular dentist for the rest of the treatment. I felt relieved after seeing her, as she'd been so understanding and kind. She let me listen to music to drown out the sound of the drill, and said to raise my hand if I needed a break or felt pain. Despite my fear, I didn't have a panic attack during the treatment.
My new dentist is someone I haven't seen before, but I booked an appointment to see her. I was scared, but hoped she'd be as kind as the dentist I'd seen before.
During the first appointment (a check up), I was shaky and tense, and the dentist asked me some slightly rude questions. I am transgender, and she asked some questions which went beyond things she'd need to medically know and towards general curiosity. She didn't even say hello before she started to ask these questions. I don't mind answering questions, but definitely not when I'm tense and shaky and frightened because I'm at the dentist. It made me feel worse, as I felt very scrutinised. In the past, other dentists have just asked the medical necessities and not asked anything further.
Anyway, I saw her again today for part two of my root canal. I asked if I could listen to music and she said yes. She said to raise my hand if I hurt or needed a break. As soon as she got in there with the drill, she kept asking why I was tense. She kept having to take it out so I could answer, then I'd sit up and say "sorry, I'm just anxious". She asked this over and over, and I started to get more anxious because I felt like my tension was inconveniencing her.
Anyway, I felt a bit of pain at one point and raised my hand. I think she may have just nicked my gum, but she started to prepare another syringe of local anaesthetic. She then stopped and said "are you having a bad reaction to the adrenaline?" and started to get really serious and asked more about why I was tense and anxious. Of course, I was already anxious and shaky, but I was starting to feel panickier and panickier.
She called the procedure off, and said it is too dangerous to do, as I was too anxious. She said she thinks I should have the tooth taken out instead, because then I'll be under general anaesthetic and can't be tense. At this point I was crying and hyperventilating, and she kept touching me. I don't like to be touched, but was struggling to speak because I was panicking. She said I can't see the special clinic for anxious patients for some reason. I asked if I could ask my GP for diazepam so we can try again, which I've had before, and she said if I could try, but she doubts it'll work and that I need it taken out.
I was sent away after being referred to the hospital to have the tooth removed, but the nurse said I can cancel that and try again with diazepam if I want. Again, the dentist said she doubted it'd help. I also noticed that she changed my records to say "she", despite me being FtM and having explained this in some detail when she'd asked before. As in, "she is becoming a man. She is autistic. She has to have root canal done on her tooth". That probably seems really small and stupid to be upset over, but the other dentists didn't do that, and it's pretty rude.
I don't want my tooth removed, and I want to try again with diazepam. I didn't feel like I was going to have a panic attack until she kept asking why I was tense constantly (literally every minute or so). It seemed obvious that I was going to be a bit tense because of the procedure. I don't know what to do. I don't know if I can ask to see a different dentist. Could I ask to see a dentist who has experience with particularly anxious or mentally ill patients? Is that a thing in the UK?
Sorry this is so long
A month or so ago, I saw the emergency dentist who started the process of a root canal. I was terrified, but she was very kind and respectful. She said I'd have to see my regular dentist for the rest of the treatment. I felt relieved after seeing her, as she'd been so understanding and kind. She let me listen to music to drown out the sound of the drill, and said to raise my hand if I needed a break or felt pain. Despite my fear, I didn't have a panic attack during the treatment.
My new dentist is someone I haven't seen before, but I booked an appointment to see her. I was scared, but hoped she'd be as kind as the dentist I'd seen before.
During the first appointment (a check up), I was shaky and tense, and the dentist asked me some slightly rude questions. I am transgender, and she asked some questions which went beyond things she'd need to medically know and towards general curiosity. She didn't even say hello before she started to ask these questions. I don't mind answering questions, but definitely not when I'm tense and shaky and frightened because I'm at the dentist. It made me feel worse, as I felt very scrutinised. In the past, other dentists have just asked the medical necessities and not asked anything further.
Anyway, I saw her again today for part two of my root canal. I asked if I could listen to music and she said yes. She said to raise my hand if I hurt or needed a break. As soon as she got in there with the drill, she kept asking why I was tense. She kept having to take it out so I could answer, then I'd sit up and say "sorry, I'm just anxious". She asked this over and over, and I started to get more anxious because I felt like my tension was inconveniencing her.
Anyway, I felt a bit of pain at one point and raised my hand. I think she may have just nicked my gum, but she started to prepare another syringe of local anaesthetic. She then stopped and said "are you having a bad reaction to the adrenaline?" and started to get really serious and asked more about why I was tense and anxious. Of course, I was already anxious and shaky, but I was starting to feel panickier and panickier.
She called the procedure off, and said it is too dangerous to do, as I was too anxious. She said she thinks I should have the tooth taken out instead, because then I'll be under general anaesthetic and can't be tense. At this point I was crying and hyperventilating, and she kept touching me. I don't like to be touched, but was struggling to speak because I was panicking. She said I can't see the special clinic for anxious patients for some reason. I asked if I could ask my GP for diazepam so we can try again, which I've had before, and she said if I could try, but she doubts it'll work and that I need it taken out.
I was sent away after being referred to the hospital to have the tooth removed, but the nurse said I can cancel that and try again with diazepam if I want. Again, the dentist said she doubted it'd help. I also noticed that she changed my records to say "she", despite me being FtM and having explained this in some detail when she'd asked before. As in, "she is becoming a man. She is autistic. She has to have root canal done on her tooth". That probably seems really small and stupid to be upset over, but the other dentists didn't do that, and it's pretty rude.
I don't want my tooth removed, and I want to try again with diazepam. I didn't feel like I was going to have a panic attack until she kept asking why I was tense constantly (literally every minute or so). It seemed obvious that I was going to be a bit tense because of the procedure. I don't know what to do. I don't know if I can ask to see a different dentist. Could I ask to see a dentist who has experience with particularly anxious or mentally ill patients? Is that a thing in the UK?
Sorry this is so long