Too ashamed and weak-help me

F

Fati96

Member
Joined
Feb 7, 2021
Messages
30
Hi
I really need your help😢
I haven't been to the dentistry for 13 years.
I am 23.
My teeth condition is awful, literally AWFUL! I have lost 3 teeth which are rotten to the gumline.
2 broken teeth. And god knows how others are😭
3 weeks ago I felt a terrible pain in my tooth and it got swollen. The pain forced me to tell my mom.
Anyway, I went to dentistry as I was shaking and tearing quietly...
( I need orthodontics too)
As the doctor saw my teeth, he started scolding me: "why you let your tooth pains then come? Oh your teeth are awful! You disappointed me !your mouth is like a 50year old woman mouth! Women oay attention to beauty but you...". (Sorry for writing them.)
He ruined me completely!
I told my mom I would never ever come hear again.

during these years I was always a sad girl, just because of my teeth & my fear!
each time I saw I'm missing my tooth, I felt a terrible sadness in my heart.
this time I want to step on my fear.

I found a nice and kind doctor.

Humiliations of that damn dentist made me much more ashamed of my teeth condition than before.

I want to tell my new dentist that I know that I have awful teeth and I am anxious and nervous.( want to tell him before he see my teeth ).

🙏Now I need your help, help me how to start ? How to tell him? I am so shy! Tell me what to say?what should I tell him to put my mind at ease?
Tell me the exact sentences I can say.

( I want to talk to him face to face)
 
kitkat

kitkat

Super Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Mar 27, 2006
Messages
1,583
Hi fati96,
First of all, I want to say shame on that terrible dentist for making you feel bad about the condition of your teeth! There are so many lovely dentists out there who truly want to help people and are kind and compassionate and that is who you deserve! As for what to say to a new dentist, I would tell them what you have shared here. I would let them know that you feel badly about your teeth and that you are afraid of being scolded like at the previous dentist. If you have other specific fears, I would share those as well. I think the more direct you are the better off you will be and if they do not receive you well then walk out the door and try another one until you find the right person to help you. If you wanted to “screen” them you could see if they are willing to meet for a chat prior to scheduling an exam. Many dentists are willing to meet with potential patients and discuss concerns prior to a formal exam. Many people have also had success starting with written correspondence with offices via Facebook or email to ensure they are going into a safe place to share their fears prior to walking through the door.
 
Enarete

Enarete

Super Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Sep 18, 2017
Messages
3,268
Wow, the experience you had with the other dentist left me speechless..

I second everything kitkat said.. If you wish to talk to the dentist face to face, then anything you will be able to tell him will be good. And if he is kind then he will treat you nicely no matter what you say anyway. Many people who haven't been to the dentist for a while feel ashamed so a kind dentist will know that this is difficult for you.
 
F

Fati96

Member
Joined
Feb 7, 2021
Messages
30
Hi fati96,
First of all, I want to say shame on that terrible dentist for making you feel bad about the condition of your teeth! There are so many lovely dentists out there who truly want to help people and are kind and compassionate and that is who you deserve! As for what to say to a new dentist, I would tell them what you have shared here. I would let them know that you feel badly about your teeth and that you are afraid of being scolded like at the previous dentist. If you have other specific fears, I would share those as well. I think the more direct you are the better off you will be and if they do not receive you well then walk out the door and try another one until you find the right person to help you. If you wanted to “screen” them you could see if they are willing to meet for a chat prior to scheduling an exam. Many dentists are willing to meet with potential patients and discuss concerns prior to a formal exam. Many people have also had success starting with written correspondence with offices via Facebook or email to ensure they are going into a safe place to share their fears prior to walking through the door.
Hi kitkat
Fisrt of all I should say that I am so so sorry that I'm late for answering🙏
Thanks a lot for your inspiring words🙏
Two weeks ago I went to a new dentist for examination, I was so anxious and embarrassment, I was scared that He also would scold me, but everything went well, very well! after examining my teeth and looking at my x-ray , he just shaked his head expressing regret😔and told me there are lots of things to do, and he told me I should come back a month later. He was so kind and calm, and his calmness put my mind at ease, I felt so good after visiting him.
And last week was my fairst appointment, I got one filling and one extraction😩 but It went very well, I felt nothing! Before going to dentist I was too scared thet I would cry, shake my head, but none of them didnt happen. I was scared, I felt like fainting but didn't faint actually😄thank god🙏yeah I felt faint , drop in my blood pressure and cold tempreture and I felt a little unconciousness and dizzy but I was awake😂 that was because of my bad past experiences which my mind felt threatening 😄but I felt no pain, he was so kind and caring. Next month I should go and continue my treatment.
Thank you for your inspiring words🙏
And I am sorry for poor english.
 
F

Fati96

Member
Joined
Feb 7, 2021
Messages
30
Wow, the experience you had with the other dentist left me speechless..

I second everything kitkat said.. If you wish to talk to the dentist face to face, then anything you will be able to tell him will be good. And if he is kind then he will treat you nicely no matter what you say anyway. Many people who haven't been to the dentist for a while feel ashamed so a kind dentist will know that this is difficult for you.
Thanks a lot Enarate🙏
I'm sorry i'm late for writting you back🙏
Thanks for your helping me.
Last two weeks I had 2 appointments with my new dentist, I talked to him and I should say that he was so so so kind and calm, his office was so comforting and soothing . He was so kind and calm that reduces my anxiety.
I hope everything goes well in the future🙏
Thank you for helping me🙏
 
Enarete

Enarete

Super Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Sep 18, 2017
Messages
3,268
Hi Fati96,

soooo nice to read that you've found a kind and calm dentist! Well done! :claps:
Hope everything goes well for you!
 
Top