• Dental Phobia Support

    Welcome! This is an online support group for anyone who is has a severe fear of the dentist or dental treatment. Please note that this is NOT a general dental problems or health anxiety forum! You can find a list of them here.

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Too scared to call insurance



Junior member
Apr 23, 2020
I'm 25, I havent been to the dentist since I was 17 because of how terrified I am of going. At my last two appointments, my mom gave me Xanax about a half an hour to an hour before my appointments. It made it easier on the drive to the office, but once I stepped inside the door to the waiting room, I was overcome with anxiety and start crying ridiculously sitting in the waiting room and it got worse once i was called in and sat on the chair. Now, I have my wisdom teeth that have already broken through my gums and are pushing all my teeth forward which is excruciating. On top of that, about a year and a half ago I was anemic and chewing on ice while I was pregnant and managed to chip my tooth in the back of my mouth near my wisdom tooth. It wasn't a cute little chip, its like half of my tooth. I've had multiple mouth infections because of this, my tongue and cheeks are super irritated, but in my head its better than going to the dentist. Its fine. I take way too much ibuprofen every day to help the pain. But today, its not helping at all. Obviously I need to get my mouth taken care of, but I cant even call a clinic to ask questions or set up an appointment. I get dental insurance through my work every year "in case of emergencies," but they never send me a physical insurance card so I dont know my member id to log in online, and my fear goes as far as I cant call my dental insurance company to ask for my id or help finding a dentist near me to help all my issues. I've read that some people will see a psychiatrist for help getting to the dentist, but during the coronavirus pandemic I know they're cutting down on as many appointments as possible. I need help.
Hi ashleypaige,
Welcome to DFC! :grouphug:
Just posting on here is such a huge step in facing your fear! I can relate to never going back to a dentist after 17. When I was 15, that was going to be my long term plan until I met a wonderful dentist who worked with me on my fears over the years (she’s still my dentist 16 years later...I’m 31 now). I’m very sorry to hear that you are having so much pain and suffering at the moment with your teeth. It’s a very difficult time in the world for patients and dentists alike so I can’t say how long it may be until you are able to get an appointment somewhere but now is a great time to begin looking around online to see what places appeal to you. We have a section on the forum dedicated to dentists that are recommended by members of the forum so that might be worth taking a look at. Also, Many offices allow for online correspondence and many members here have had success through sending emails or facebook messages to offices before ever scheduling an appointment or even calling an office. I also have a dental insurance that doesn‘t provide the physical card (so annoying!) and in my experience when I went to the company’s website, I was able to input some personal info and I was able to look myself up...usually it wIll ask for name, date of birth, and/or last 4 digits of social security number or something of the sort...a lot of times there isn’t an actual member ID number...just a group number and then it gives you the option to download and view or print your cards. Please know that you are not alone in your fear and we are here to support you in anyway that we can! Keep us posted and let us know how you get on with things.

:welcome: Welcome to DFC from one Minnesotan to another. Glad you came on and shared your story. You are going in the right direction no matter how small each step is a step.. and writing here is a big one to start! You are at a great age to turn things around dentally.. start small and take one step at a time. I know there are alot of lovely, caring dentists here in MN who would love to help you get back on track and show you dental love and care as it was meant. I really agree with @kitkat I found it very useful to FB different offices and gage how they are with nervous patients by sharing a little snippet about my anxiety. there were a few that were incredibly compassionate.. This process really helped me narrow things down.. and I found some really awesome dentists who are great with anxious patients this way. Email.. well that can be frustrating I guess nowadays dental offices answer their fb moreso than their email .. I know the case is true for mine. My insurance they don't give us a card either they just have them look up social number and ask your employer, it seems pretty easy to look up for the office. So they shouldn't have a problem. :).. I hope you can find a kind good dentist. If you are in the twin cities and want and thoughts .... I'd be happy to help.. I've visited a few great ones.

Wishing you the very best.
P.s. if you are in the Twin Cities area there is a great list of anxious friendly dentists on the forum in the referral section under US then MN.. I encourage you to take a look.
Hi ashleypaige,

sorry to read how much you are in pain. I see how you need immediate help on the one one side and how your fear paralyzes you too much to take any steps on the other side. The current covid situation obviously is not helping either.
Beating your anxiety is always about the balance between where you can go and how urgently you need the treatment. The best way is to start looking up for dentists in your own time and find a comfortable way to get in touch, as @kitkat and @krlovesherkids777 suggest. Many caring dentists are happy to have a chat and don't need you anywhere near the chair at your first appointment. Counseling or psychotherapy is a huge help too and will allow you to move on faster. I can only encourage you to look up therapists even now, many offer online sessions during this time.
If you are currently in a lot of pain, you might not have much time to take things easy, but there are still some short term fixes that can allow you to get the treatment. I see the xanax wasn't too helpful for your time in the office, but there are still other sedation options and your dentist will be happy to discuss them with you.

I know you do not feel like having many options or being in control right now, but you really are. There are many approaches you can take and at the end only you decide where to go, who to get in touch with and under what conditions. I can only encourage you to use this control and decide how you would like to go about things

All the best wishes and keep us posted:grouphug:
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