Too Scared To Care.. Anxiety/Low Self Esteem

T

TooScaredToCare

Junior member
Joined
Mar 9, 2018
Messages
1
I am so happy I found this group. To know I am not alone. I have always feared the dentist, I would draw blood in my palms when just getting my teeth cleaned. I honestly haven't seen a dentist in 25 years. You can imagine what my mouth looks like. I would rather go through the pain of broken teeth, severe cavities, and essentially losing a lot of teeth to breakage, than just put on my big girl panties and take care of it. I have been telling myself for the past year "tomorrow I will call".. Tomorrow comes and I can't do it. I can't make the call. I don't even know where to begin to fix this. :cry:
I know I have to see a dentist, I have lots of broken teeth to the gum line. I won't smile, I talk a certain way so I don't show my teeth. I have come to the realization that I need all my teeth taken out. I am going to need dentures at 40 years old.
Just thinking about picking up the phone to call makes me sick to my stomach. I wish there was a way to find a dentist that won't look in my mouth, knock me out, than just remove them all. I know that there is no saving them. I am so embarrassed for a dentist to see my mouth.
Soon, I am not going to have any front teeth on the top and that sucks. Its a vicious cycle when you deal with this fear and anxiety. On one hand you know you need to do something, than on the other hand your too scared to do anything about it. What I would give to smile again. Self esteem - what's that? Whenever I would go to the dentist and tell them I have dental phobia, they would just brush me off and put me through ringer.
I'm glad that there are other people out there like me and I am not alone.:shame::censored:
 
krlovesherkids777

krlovesherkids777

Super Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Jul 26, 2017
Messages
2,966
Tooscaredtocare,

Hello..

I remember being where you are at at the age of 30. and a victim of domestic abuse so when I got to a desparate point I finally found a dentist who was a young gal she had recently opened her first practice within the year.. She was the first one in 30 years!!! of my life that was compassionate! I would walk in with broken decaying teeth , pretty bad sight and so embarrassed... and covering my mouth the whole time,, she would tell me .. "you shouldn't be afraid to smile. you have a beautiful smile and I'm going to help you ".. because all money was highly controlled in the relationship and I wasn't good enough to spend anything on.. I had to go with what medical assistance would pay for and that was dentures. lower .. it was a partial so not all but it was my 5 front teeth partial and then some other work .. anyways.. she was so kind and compassionate and helped me through getting the denture which i was scared to.. but did it and I found that even though it was hard and wished I could have done a bridge money wise.. it did give me some dignity and strength back.. and faith that dentists can be kind, caring, and compassionate and even pain free.. so just want to give you some encouragement and hope that you can get some kind help.. don't settle for less.. there is someone out there with this type of compassion and care!! I've found a few since then as well! :) all the best.. it is worth taking the chance....you are worth it , you are important !
 
C

comfortdentist

Well-known member
Verified dentist
Joined
Jul 19, 2009
Messages
2,864
I would spend time researching a few dental offices. Do in depth reading of their reviews. Call a few oral surgeons and other specialists and tell them you are an extreme dental phobic and ask for a recommendation.
Next contact the dental offices and email(easier for you) them with your story and see how they reply. Finally call them and talk to them. The tone of the office is set by the dentist.
do NOT call any corporate partnered or managed office. Most likely any office that is large will also be bad for you.
There actually are some dentists who would be delighted to help you there just aren't a lot of us.
 
Enarete

Enarete

Super Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Sep 18, 2017
Messages
3,312
Dear TooScaredToCare,

sorry to hear about your situation and at the same time a huge well done for being here and sharing your story with us. When reading your post, this is what I see: you were honest to yourself about your situation and acknowledged the fact that you need a dentist and also acknowledged that making a call is a way to difficult for you at the moment. You also recognized that you are finding yourself in a vicious cycle and that it would be good to do something about it. You also acknowledged that you are not alone and joined this forum to get some support. These are all steps forward.

You know, it seems like making that call is the first step, but that's not true. Making that call actually is almost one of the last steps and all the steps before take place in your mind. It's about acknowledging the situation, being honest to yourself, it's about seeking support, about allowing the thought that you might want to try to find a dentist one day and these steps are very important and a part of your journey. And they need time. There are people who need years to finally pluck up the courage to face a dentist and that's fine. You need all these processes and it's a part of the journey and it's not wise to rush it. Beating your fear is about going at your pace and self love is about this too. You are doing the right thing and your dental journey already has started.

As krlovesherkids777 and comfortdentist suggest, there are nice lovely caring dentists out there - just take a look at some posts of all the lovely dentists here on the forum or at the recommendation section. And there are enough dentists that will respect your hesitancy to make that call. So why not starting to do a bit of research and make a list of practices you feel might be empathetic and non-judgmental? Some you could email beforehand to explain your fears? And how about to get some clarity about what exactly scares you about seeing a dentist and where does this fear come from? And how about calling a practice at night to listen to their answering machine first, just to train yourself a little bit?

There are sooooooooo many possibilities to approach this and I am convinced that there is a lovely dentist for you somewhere and he/she will help you.. with your teeth and your self-esteem as well.

All the best wishes
 
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