Too scared to visit my family

[Ellasita]

Thank you for Welcoming me to the site I feel like I found this just in time. So my stories kind of more about fear and shame about my family viewing me in my teeth. Ever since I can remember my teeth have been an issue of shame and fear of myself and has brought down a lot of self-worth and self-esteem. My parents are very critical of appearances in fact they pay to get my top dentures done so when we took family pictures for my brothers wedding I wouldn’t be embarrass them. So fast forward five years and now my bottom teeth are having issues and of course the day that I booked my flight to see my parents this summer my tooth chipped. Luckily I did talk to the Dentist and they’re going to put a flapper in which helps alleviate some stress. But he did say that I may lose some teeth between now and July which is when I go to see my parents. i’m just very full of shame because my mom uses the reason that my teeth are messed up as a reason why I’m still single and she tells me that people look at look at your mouth and they kind of pass judgment and since my teeth are in bad condition people view that and view me in a negative way. This has caused incredible amounts of anxiety and Shame. I’m not sure how to mentally prepare for this trip along with their judgment and just disgusted they have with me and my teeth. I am schoolteacher I have friends every time I bring up my teeth to my friends they don’t seem to have issues with it but my parents don’t see it that way and they use it as a way for me to feel really bad about myself so any advice would be very appreciative and thank you so much for excepting me in this group!

 

[letsconnect]

Hi @Ellasita and welcome! I'm sorry to hear that your parents (and especially your mom?) are so critical of your appearance. Disgust and contempt are poison in any relationship with significant others, including parents. Do you think your parents realise how their comments affect you, and the anxiety and shame they cause? If not, maybe you could let them know how you feel, by writing them an email or even a letter, and see how they react.

Good to hear though that your friends and your dentist are supportive, that's really important .