A
ANYMS2017
Junior member
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2017
- Messages
- 2
So far not so good
I've learned that maybe only those who have been through the stress, the shame, the embarrassment and the fear of judgement can understand it can be as hard to deal with as the fear of the dental work itself.
After living with a phobia for over 20 years, I finally managed to pluck up the courage to ask for a referral at the beginning of March 2016. There's only one place in my area, an Access Centre that offers gas and air sedation and I was put on the waiting list. Without going into too much detail, by that time, I had pulled out quite a few of my own teeth. After waiting 8 months I emailed the PALS liaison team and with their help, I got my first appointment in October 2016.
I had four appointments over the rest of the year. The first was an assessment, the second a gentle clean, the third was 2 extractions and the fourth was a filling. I found out in December that the Centre only provides a short course of treatment and I was discharged a couple of weeks before Christmas. They discharged me with a very loose tooth at the bottom front of my mouth and Christmas was terrible. I was in pain, had difficulty eating, I was too self-conscious to smile or laugh and drained from being in the same situation all year. I had to wait until the holidays were over to find a dentist accepting NHS patients and again went through the dread, embarrassment and shame of showing more people my mouth and trying to explain how I ended up like this.
At my first appointment in January 2017, the dentist told me I needed the loose tooth at the front removed and I would have to be referred back to the Access Centre for gas and air. Filled with the dread of another 8-month wait I managed to get an appointment in April - again with the help of the PALS liaison team. In the meantime, I had a clean at the dentist and he advised me to get the two teeth either side of the loose one extracted. He said the gap would be easier to fill and he said he would make the partial replacements "look great". So that's what I did. I had the three teeth removed in May 2017 and keen to replace the gap now left behind, I went back to my dentist very soon after my extractions. The dentist fitted the partials and he seemed happy with them. He didn't offer me a mirror, but he said he there were gaps and I could go back for another fitting.
I had a look in the toilet mirror before I left the surgery and I was absolutely devastated. Apart from the terrible way they fitted on the inside, the replacement teeth were much longer than my natural teeth either side. There was hardly any ridge in the gum, so instead of sitting over my gum, they sat perched on top and jutted back into my mouth and one side at the same time. This raised the plastic gum way above my natural gum line and they looked so obviously "prosthetic". I was very upset and distressed and I had to make my way home like that.
For weeks I was terribly depressed and I couldn't even go out. It was so hard trying to pull myself together to make another appointment. I made appointments but had to keep re-arranging them because I couldn't leave the house. When I finally got to the dentist and told him that I hadn't been able to go out he laughed. He said it wasn't possible to have a proper ridge because of the positioning of the teeth and the thickness of the plastic and every problem I raised was met with - "well, there isn't that much we can do because they are dentures". He made a few adjustments but made them even worse, they pulled my lower jaw to one side and I couldn't close my mouth properly, but the dentist seemed happy with the results. Again, I went home in distress.
Back to square one, terribly depressed, still unable to eat properly and unable to go out. I actually just wanted to die. After three months I thought maybe there is one last hope. I thought if I explained my situation to a doctor they might refer me to a dentist at the local hospital. I had hoped that this would be my last stop. I was devastated again when the Doctor told me to just find another dentist and that I needed to "help myself". He quickly looked online and said there were thirteen dentists in the area. He must have presumed that I had a pot of money to fund private treatment, so I could pick the best out of the thirteen - but the reality was there were 3 dentists accepting NHS patients.
Again I had to find the strength to face more people and that brings me up to today. I had an appointment with the newest dentist today and it wasn't great. I didn't get the chance to tell her anything because it seemed like she just wanted to get through the appointment really quickly and she did. And that's exactly what I was terrified of. I'm praying that at least these replacements will be better. This has been my life for seventeen months now and I really can't take much more of it.
I've learned that maybe only those who have been through the stress, the shame, the embarrassment and the fear of judgement can understand it can be as hard to deal with as the fear of the dental work itself.
After living with a phobia for over 20 years, I finally managed to pluck up the courage to ask for a referral at the beginning of March 2016. There's only one place in my area, an Access Centre that offers gas and air sedation and I was put on the waiting list. Without going into too much detail, by that time, I had pulled out quite a few of my own teeth. After waiting 8 months I emailed the PALS liaison team and with their help, I got my first appointment in October 2016.
I had four appointments over the rest of the year. The first was an assessment, the second a gentle clean, the third was 2 extractions and the fourth was a filling. I found out in December that the Centre only provides a short course of treatment and I was discharged a couple of weeks before Christmas. They discharged me with a very loose tooth at the bottom front of my mouth and Christmas was terrible. I was in pain, had difficulty eating, I was too self-conscious to smile or laugh and drained from being in the same situation all year. I had to wait until the holidays were over to find a dentist accepting NHS patients and again went through the dread, embarrassment and shame of showing more people my mouth and trying to explain how I ended up like this.
At my first appointment in January 2017, the dentist told me I needed the loose tooth at the front removed and I would have to be referred back to the Access Centre for gas and air. Filled with the dread of another 8-month wait I managed to get an appointment in April - again with the help of the PALS liaison team. In the meantime, I had a clean at the dentist and he advised me to get the two teeth either side of the loose one extracted. He said the gap would be easier to fill and he said he would make the partial replacements "look great". So that's what I did. I had the three teeth removed in May 2017 and keen to replace the gap now left behind, I went back to my dentist very soon after my extractions. The dentist fitted the partials and he seemed happy with them. He didn't offer me a mirror, but he said he there were gaps and I could go back for another fitting.
I had a look in the toilet mirror before I left the surgery and I was absolutely devastated. Apart from the terrible way they fitted on the inside, the replacement teeth were much longer than my natural teeth either side. There was hardly any ridge in the gum, so instead of sitting over my gum, they sat perched on top and jutted back into my mouth and one side at the same time. This raised the plastic gum way above my natural gum line and they looked so obviously "prosthetic". I was very upset and distressed and I had to make my way home like that.
For weeks I was terribly depressed and I couldn't even go out. It was so hard trying to pull myself together to make another appointment. I made appointments but had to keep re-arranging them because I couldn't leave the house. When I finally got to the dentist and told him that I hadn't been able to go out he laughed. He said it wasn't possible to have a proper ridge because of the positioning of the teeth and the thickness of the plastic and every problem I raised was met with - "well, there isn't that much we can do because they are dentures". He made a few adjustments but made them even worse, they pulled my lower jaw to one side and I couldn't close my mouth properly, but the dentist seemed happy with the results. Again, I went home in distress.
Back to square one, terribly depressed, still unable to eat properly and unable to go out. I actually just wanted to die. After three months I thought maybe there is one last hope. I thought if I explained my situation to a doctor they might refer me to a dentist at the local hospital. I had hoped that this would be my last stop. I was devastated again when the Doctor told me to just find another dentist and that I needed to "help myself". He quickly looked online and said there were thirteen dentists in the area. He must have presumed that I had a pot of money to fund private treatment, so I could pick the best out of the thirteen - but the reality was there were 3 dentists accepting NHS patients.
Again I had to find the strength to face more people and that brings me up to today. I had an appointment with the newest dentist today and it wasn't great. I didn't get the chance to tell her anything because it seemed like she just wanted to get through the appointment really quickly and she did. And that's exactly what I was terrified of. I'm praying that at least these replacements will be better. This has been my life for seventeen months now and I really can't take much more of it.
