• Dental Phobia Support

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Trying to handle my fear and anxiety...

M

misfeat

Junior member
Joined
Aug 19, 2016
Messages
13
So I haven't been to the dentist in almost 10 years. I've posted on this forum one time about a month ago and received a tremendous support, and actually scheduled an appointment for this Saturday. Now I'm fricking out. It's 1 a.m. Friday morning, I can't sleep, can't eat and my hands are shaking...I'm not scared of pain/physical discomfort. I have anxiety about being judged. I've had a bad experience when I was 18, I've been shamed and called irresponsible. My husband tried to calm me down like "so what..it is what it is...it'll be over quick", he's not "over-thinker" as I'm. So he doesn't get the anxiety.
So, maybe some of you have had similar anxiety or fear. How to get through it??? :shame:
 
Sevena

Sevena

Super Moderator
Joined
Jun 24, 2012
Messages
805
Location
UK
It's important to remember than no dentist has the right to judge you or shame you for anything. They don't know your life, it's not their job, and since when did judging and shaming help anything ever? If any dentist ever does, then they are a terrible dentist and you should walk right out. You absolutely 100% deserve good treatment from a compassionate and professional dentist.

It helps to explain to the dentist beforehand. Tell them that you're anxious about the dentist, and haven't been in a long time. The very fact you're there in the dentist office proves you're not irresponsible, because you're dealing with the problem, aren't you? Any worthwhile dentist will know that.

It's more uncommon for dentists to have that attitude nowadays. I hope your dentist is not an a-hole :p but if they are, remember it's not their right to be that way, and you deserve better. :hug4:
 
M

misfeat

Junior member
Joined
Aug 19, 2016
Messages
13
I've read yelp reviews on the clinic that I'm going to and ppl said that he's very understanding. I've scheduled the teeth cleaning first. Then the doc will examine "the damage" after, as i've understood. So I'm gonna have to talk to both, the hygienist and the dentist.....when I even think of that conversation, I feel light headed and nauseous...

I've tried to find a dentist who dealt with patients with an eating disorder. Found several but the closest one is almost 3 hours away. So I've picked the local one, the doc is the owner on the clinic, so maybe he'll be patient with me. GOD, I REALLY HOPE HE WILL. I need to get my teeth fixed. I just want to smile without having a paranoia that my teeth are bad and ppl'd be looking.
 
Last edited:
Sevena

Sevena

Super Moderator
Joined
Jun 24, 2012
Messages
805
Location
UK
Good reviews are a plus! Honestly, it's much worse in your head than it's going to be when it does happen. Like the first time I went to the dentist in years, I was just a complete mess over what they might think of me or say. My teeth were in a very bad state, most of them decayed, many broken down to the gumline, and with me being only 25 or so at the time, I was just incredibly embarrassed and upset. I actually apologised to the dentist in advance - I don't know why, I was just out of mind with anxiety. She was super nice though.

My dental journey was very long (lots of impressions taken, then extractions done under GA in a hospital). Countless people saw the inside of my mouth during this months-long period, dentists, dental assistants, dental students (I was getting treated at a dental hospital), nurses, an anasthesiologist...and not a single person said a single thing. Not a single one even registered an expression of surprise.

They've seen it all before, and their job is to help you, not frighten you away. :)
 
M

misfeat

Junior member
Joined
Aug 19, 2016
Messages
13
Good reviews are a plus! Honestly, it's much worse in your head than it's going to be when it does happen. Like the first time I went to the dentist in years, I was just a complete mess over what they might think of me or say. My teeth were in a very bad state, most of them decayed, many broken down to the gumline, and with me being only 25 or so at the time, I was just incredibly embarrassed and upset. I actually apologised to the dentist in advance - I don't know why, I was just out of mind with anxiety. She was super nice though.

My dental journey was very long (lots of impressions taken, then extractions done under GA in a hospital). Countless people saw the inside of my mouth during this months-long period, dentists, dental assistants, dental students (I was getting treated at a dental hospital), nurses, an anasthesiologist...and not a single person said a single thing. Not a single one even registered an expression of surprise.

They've seen it all before, and their job is to help you, not frighten you away. :)

Thank you for sharing your story. I'll still apologize for the state of my teeth, I guess I feel guilty, since it's my own doing-fault. I've ran a scenario in my head, how to explain why and how I got in this mess, and my final thoughts would be "I'm sorry that have to see that". I'm a mess...I know it's in my head...but it's hard to overcome it
 
Sevena

Sevena

Super Moderator
Joined
Jun 24, 2012
Messages
805
Location
UK
Good luck, do update us :)
 
P

pet1984

Junior member
Joined
Sep 17, 2016
Messages
15
Were you in any actual physical dental pain before going? At worst, they might say you need some deep cleaning and a few fillings. Unless you have a big cavity like I do and have been putting it off, you're probably okay, right?

How did it turn out, though? I was in a similar situation as you (well, I'm more scared of paying as I don't have a lot of money for bills much less health care) and I went in. Dentists are less judgmental now because it doesn't help to be for business reasons.

Anyway, hope it went okay.
 
M

misfeat

Junior member
Joined
Aug 19, 2016
Messages
13
Were you in any actual physical dental pain before going? At worst, they might say you need some deep cleaning and a few fillings. Unless you have a big cavity like I do and have been putting it off, you're probably okay, right?

How did it turn out, though? I was in a similar situation as you (well, I'm more scared of paying as I don't have a lot of money for bills much less health care) and I went in. Dentists are less judgmental now because it doesn't help to be for business reasons.

Anyway, hope it went okay.

Well...I DID IT. I actually went there:jump:. Like most ppl said, the hygienist and dentist where very kind...did they understand my situation 100%?! No, but they weren't rude or anything...that's all what I could ask for. They did deep cleaning and X-rays...16 or 18 pictures...it was very different from the last time I've been to the dentist. The Doc did the exam and...well 2 extractions for sure and one "maybe". Quite a few cavities. That's ok, it is what it is...I just need to keep up with the dentist's visits in the future.
The next appointment is on Sep. 21st, they are gonna take care of one cavity on 22nd tooth low jar, it's tender. I didn't go cuz I was in pain(i 've been in pain before but always told myself it's gonna go away in a day, its not too bad etc.) So before I just lived through the pain but recently I've noticed that my front teeth started to have spotting around the jam line. The slightest thought of loosing my front teeth was terrifying. So I came here for help and you guys gave me hope and calm me down, so within 3 weeks I've scheduled the appointment and actually went through with it. I'm blessed with my husband, he went there with me. We have teamster blue cross blue shield and they said that cleaning and some filling will be covered. The Doc did a list of all work that needs to be done. I'm scared, I know that I'll have to pay but I'll manage somehow. The Doc said that I have some good teeth and I replied "and some bad ones"...don't know... over 2 years ago the fillings from 3 molars came off and the open tooth's space wasn't treated...huge cavity on all 3 of them and 2 teeth will be gone for sure and one "maybe". I'm still nerves about my next appointment cuz the dentist will be the same but the assistant will be different. I'm nerves about the new person.

They gave me the bill today but the cost without an X-ray:

Periodic oral evaluation $55
Intraoral-complete series (bw) $ 145
Prophylaxis-adult $101

I don't even know what is the average pricing. Hope it's normal cost. The clinic is 15 min away from me and reviews were good. But I'm not sure if it's a normal pricing.
 
P

pet1984

Junior member
Joined
Sep 17, 2016
Messages
15
Well...I DID IT. I actually went there:jump:. Like most ppl said, the hygienist and dentist where very kind...did they understand my situation 100%?! No, but they weren't rude or anything...that's all what I could ask for. They did deep cleaning and X-rays...16 or 18 pictures...it was very different from the last time I've been to the dentist. The Doc did the exam and...well 2 extractions for sure and one "maybe". Quite a few cavities. That's ok, it is what it is...I just need to keep up with the dentist's visits in the future.
The next appointment is on Sep. 21st, they are gonna take care of one cavity on 22nd tooth low jar, it's tender. I didn't go cuz I was in pain(i 've been in pain before but always told myself it's gonna go away in a day, its not too bad etc.) So before I just lived through the pain but recently I've noticed that my front teeth started to have spotting around the jam line. The slightest thought of loosing my front teeth was terrifying. So I came here for help and you guys gave me hope and calm me down, so within 3 weeks I've scheduled the appointment and actually went through with it. I'm blessed with my husband, he went there with me. We have teamster blue cross blue shield and they said that cleaning and some filling will be covered. The Doc did a list of all work that needs to be done. I'm scared, I know that I'll have to pay but I'll manage somehow. The Doc said that I have some good teeth and I replied "and some bad ones"...don't know... over 2 years ago the fillings from 3 molars came off and the open tooth's space wasn't treated...huge cavity on all 3 of them and 2 teeth will be gone for sure and one "maybe". I'm still nerves about my next appointment cuz the dentist will be the same but the assistant will be different. I'm nerves about the new person.

They gave me the bill today but the cost without an X-ray:

Periodic oral evaluation $55
Intraoral-complete series (bw) $ 145
Prophylaxis-adult $101

I don't even know what is the average pricing. Hope it's normal cost. The clinic is 15 min away from me and reviews were good. But I'm not sure if it's a normal pricing.

Glad you went and got looked at. And you didn't even need a root canal? That's the best news for sure. Yeah, you have cavities and deep cleaning, but that's not too bad after such a long hiatus between your dental visits. My scenario was similar but the results were a bit worse than yours heh.

I honestly can't tell you if your prices are good or not, or even standard. I'm just as out of the dental loop as you. I just remember going to the dentist back in college and they did some x-rays, a bunch of fillings, and one extraction all for under $400 without insurance. Even with my (albeit meager) dental plan, my fillings are roughly $45-60 per filling now. And I had quite a few "hidden" ones, not counting the big, big one that needs a root canal ($$$). :/ My deep cleanings are $85 per quad (4 total), and that doesn't include almost $50 worth of numbing shots (shots are only free with surgical procedures like fillings and extractions). Without my dental plan, they'd be almost $900, though, for 4 quads worth of deep cleans.

So your scenario doesn't sound too bad to me, especially when you take into context that you hadn't gone in some time. It could be better, but at least you went and you're on the road to recovery. That's all we can ask for.

Dentists are nicer now, especially in a social media age. If they are rude, they'll get Yelp or Google review blasted.

Keep us updated.
 
M

misfeat

Junior member
Joined
Aug 19, 2016
Messages
13
No root canal, I re-asked my husband, if I've understood the doc right. But also I'm gonna need a crown, my tooth chipped over 4 years ago....yeah, I should off come to see a dentist earlier, but I wasn't ready...my husband doesn't get why I'm so nerves about seeing a dentist, since I have a high tolerance for the pain..sigh...I just could't bring myself to do it...I think I need to focus on now, or the "what if"s will eat me alive
 
P

pet1984

Junior member
Joined
Sep 17, 2016
Messages
15
There's no point in living in the past when it comes to this stuff, everyone tells me. Just do what you can to put it behind you and move on and be happy. :)

Again, keep us updated.
 
K

kaitlin4599

Member
Joined
Nov 25, 2013
Messages
25
remember u can always call your dentist ahead of time and have them prescribe you a pill to take the day of the visit to help with your anxiety
 
M

misfeat

Junior member
Joined
Aug 19, 2016
Messages
13
remember u can always call your dentist ahead of time and have them prescribe you a pill to take the day of the visit to help with your anxiety

Thank you for the tip. I've told the doc my story, about my eating disorder and my fear of being judged. He was professionally kind and did mention that either they can prescribe valium or just to give it to me prior procedure. English is not my native language and when I get nervous I tend to speak very fast or just can't pay a close attention to what the person is saying. It's good to know.
 
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