Unbearable pain but can't get help, advice desperately needed

[msb3]

Hi everyone,
I suffer with a terrible dental phobia which prevents me from even being able to take my children to their appointments.
I have had an amazing toothache since Thursday and have had no sleep for 3 nights. No painkillers are really helping and I don't know what to do.
I'm pretty desperate. How can I make the pain go away? How can I get over my fear to get to the dentist?
I am so scared and noone understands.
Thank you for reading x

 

[ScaredyCat22]

Hi everyone,
I suffer with a terrible dental phobia which prevents me from even being able to take my children to their appointments.
I have had an amazing toothache since Thursday and have had no sleep for 3 nights. No painkillers are really helping and I don't know what to do.
I'm pretty desperate. How can I make the pain go away? How can I get over my fear to get to the dentist?
I am so scared and noone understands.
Thank you for reading x

Hi msb3

I too came here because I was in horrid pain and afraid to go to the dentist. I started off reading some of the success stories and other posts on this forum, and then admitting my fear just like you. Eventually the pain got to the point that I could not stand it anymore and I did make an appointment. I even cried on the phone as I explained to the receptionist how terrified I was and how hard it even was for me to call. Some dentists will prescribe you a valium or other anti anxiety medication to take before your appointment.
In the mean time try a hot compress and 800 mgs ibuprofen with 1000 mgs Tylenol. do not do this more than every 8 hours. it should take the edge off your pain.
I also sat up pretty much all night and read this thread http://www.dentalfearcentral.org/forum/showthread.php?25193-Lions-and-Tigers-and-Dentists-oh-my!! which helped me immensely.

Also do read the success stories, it can be quite inspirational to read of people who although they were scared finally sought and received help and are no longer in pain.
Last week I had my first ever root canal! I was so terrified and you know what? it was not that bad and I am in so much less pain now.

 

[biffo1963]

That sounds very much like my own situation 25 years or so ago. What finally changed things for me was the realisation that either I got myself sorted out or I would have to put up with that level of pain repeatedly, and probably more often as time went on. It wasn't easy - but it worked !

 

[comfortdentist]

While you have a personal right to not take care of your own needs you do not have the same right to not take care of your children needs or t least in the USA. I realize that you are phobic but I must point out that under the system your child's dentist and pediatrician is obligated to report negligence to children's welfare authorities. You don't want to deal with this problem. Stay in contact at least and work with your doctors to come up with a plan.

 

[ScaredyCat22]

While you have a personal right to not take care of your own needs you do not have the same right to not take care of your children needs or t least in the USA. I realize that you are phobic but I must point out that under the system your child's dentist and pediatrician is obligated to report negligence to children's welfare authorities. You don't want to deal with this problem. Stay in contact at least and work with your doctors to come up with a plan.

I don't think we need to automatically assume the children are neglected. I rarely attended any of my son's dentist appointments, other than to make sure it was a clean office and the dentist was not a jerk. and rarely attended orthodontist appointments That doesn't mean I didn't arrange appointments or that he hasn't had fluoride treatments, braces, cleanings, wisdom tooth extraction, xrays, and exams to the tune of several thousand dollars. One can make appointments for their children and pay the bills without attending the appointment themselves. He is grown now and still never had a cavity in his life. I don't believe asking his Father or a grandparent to take him to his appointment means that I ever neglected him. In fact because of my fear and phobia and the things that I suffered as a child it is more than likely my son will never even know what it feels like to have a toothache.

 

[msb3]

While you have a personal right to not take care of your own needs you do not have the same right to not take care of your children needs or t least in the USA. I realize that you are phobic but I must point out that under the system your child's dentist and pediatrician is obligated to report negligence to children's welfare authorities. You don't want to deal with this problem. Stay in contact at least and work with your doctors to come up with a plan.

My children visit the dentist with their Dad so they don't see how scared I am.
Thanks for the advice everyone. Still in a lot of pain

 

[ScaredyCat22]

Do you have a fear of doctors in general or just dentists? maybe your doctor could prescribe you a pain medication and perhaps some antibiotics in case of infection. That may help while you try to work up the nerve to call a dentist. do you see any sign of abscess?

 

[zombiegroupie]

The pain is eventually what drove me to the dentist. That and the fact that 2 of my teeth were beyond repair and are now gone, forever.

Start with baby steps. Once you can get yourself in the door and realize that, after x amount of hours I won't have pain anymore, you can do it!.

 

[msb3]

Do you have a fear of doctors in general or just dentists? maybe your doctor could prescribe you a pain medication and perhaps some antibiotics in case of infection. That may help while you try to work up the nerve to call a dentist. do you see any sign of abscess?

I'm ok with the Dr's but i do struggle with an anxiety disorder and depression
I've been exploring dentists in my local area who specialise in phobic patients. I feel quite ill tonight and just want it to go away

Thank you all so much for your support x

 

[ScaredyCat22]

Just so you know, dentists who advertise that they specialize in phobic patients will usually want you to have IV sedation for procedures. Which might be what you are looking for, or it might be one of your fears. You don't necessarily need a dentist who specializes in phobic patients, just someone with a bit of compassion and patience and understanding. If you are feeling sick in addition to having pain it is almost definitely an infection. I know it's really scary to make that first call to reach out for an appointment but I think you really need to make that call soon.

 

[msb3]

Just so you know, dentists who advertise that they specialize in phobic patients will usually want you to have IV sedation for procedures. Which might be what you are looking for, or it might be one of your fears. You don't necessarily need a dentist who specializes in phobic patients, just someone with a bit of compassion and patience and understanding. If you are feeling sick in addition to having pain it is almost definitely an infection. I know it's really scary to make that first call to reach out for an appointment but I think you really need to make that call soon.

Had a terrible night and I ended up in a&e. Came home with tramadol which isn't doing much I have however made an emergency dental appointment for 2.30. Very scared but the pain is just too much! Thanks for your support, wish me luck!!!

 

[ScaredyCat22]

I do wish you the best of luck. I know it's scary, I'm scared too and have to go back Friday myself. I'm still in pain too. But we will get through this together right??
Let me know how your appointment goes. They will likely just take some xrays and probably give you an antibiotic for now.

 

[slarsson]

Go for it!

I know how you feel. I avoided the dentist for ten years because I was too scared / phobic, which led me to have nine cavities and wisdom teeth problems. In the end I was in so much pain that I had to go to a dentist. Like you, I researched dentists in the area speciailisng in nervous patients and found one that does IV sedation.

If you're scared of the exam, please don't be! I was terrified, but the dentist I went to was amazing. To calm me down, I just got to sit in the chair for ten minutes while he chatted about the exam itself, how it works etc. He reassured me I wouldn't feel any pain during the exam and that he was just going to have a look. When I finally did it, wow it went so smoothly! It was nothing!!

He concluded I needed nine fillings and both of my wisdom teeth extracted. My goodness I was TERRIFIED!! I opted for IV sedation as he told me I wouldn't be aware of what was going on and I wouldn't remember a thing.

The big day came two weeks ago. And let me tell you, I was crying my eyes out in the waiting room because I was so scared!! My husband could do nothing to calm me down and I was sure I was heading for the worst pain in my life.

Then the kind nurse came to get me. Sat me in the chair and together with the dentist reassured me I wouldn't feel a thing. In my head, I was thinking that was crap!! How could I possibly not feel anything?? And not be scared??

Then the IV went into the back of my hand (small pinch, no biggie!!). And that was that. Don't remember a thing (even though apparently you're still awake as it is conscious sedation). Woke up in the recovery room with a lovely nurse who said everything went great. Said I was on cloud nine for the whole time and had no idea what was happening.

And now it's done and my teeth are healthy. I'm telling you, it's worth going to get checked out before it gets worse. I was such a phobic, but this has cured me. You realise it really isn't that bad at all. With a good dentist who understand fear, you're in safe hands. I went through exams, nine fillings and two extractions, and I'm sitting here fine. And I didn't feel a thing when they did any of the procedure. Nothing at all. So go for it, you can do it!!

 

[msb3]

Well I went to my appointment and I didn't panic while he examined my teeth. He was a very kind man who understood how scared I was and was reassuring throughout. However, the verdict is that I need 10 teeth to be extracted

I am so upset and scared by this. One of the teeth is causing my pain and he offered to do that one there and then but I just couldn't do it. He is going to refer me for sedation and general anaesthetic at the hospital.

so I am facing another few weeks of this pain, over christmas and then a massive ordeal at the dentists. Then at the age of 32 to be missing half my teeth I feel completely helpless and down. To top it all I have to call in sick to work again today because the pain medicine I am on is spacing me out so Badly and I keep being sick. This wouldn't be too bad but I am currently working my notice there and they are being very snotty about it all.

thank you so much for taking the time to support me through this, no one I know really understands x

 

[ScaredyCat22]

Oh no. I am so sorry to hear that and I know how scary it is. Did he say why there is no way at all to save any of the teeth? Are they cracked too badly for root canals and crowns? I know this must feel like the end of the world to you but honestly it isn't. When this is over you will be pain free, and there are options for replacing the teeth that are lost. I'm really sorry you are going through this at the holidays. I know how miserable it is. I usually start celebrating in October lol. We go all out for Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas but I have been in pain since October 8th and feel like a scrooge who couldn't care less about holidays this year.

 

[unbelievablepain32]

Hello everyone i am 31 i also have a unbelieveable fear of the dentist...i cant go at all i have had a severe toothache for days now icant sleep im snapping at my son and partner because of the painand i cant take this anymore idont know what to do..please pleaseanyone help

 

[jessegee]

A dentist told me to rub aspirin tablet or similar on the tooth/gum where it hurts , salt water helps a lot, just put salt on mine and its easing. Sensitive toothpaste helps a lot, rub some on the tooth/gum, and a warm wheatbag on the jaw is really bliss, but be careful it can make your face swell if theres an abscess etc

My mum was terrified of dentists, so dropped me off and went shopping, traumatic! But that was 40 years ago, dentists are much better now, probably better that they don't pick up on your fears, that makes it worse!

 

[jessegee]

Try going to the dentist, just to find out exactly what is wrong, get advice, and then decide about what treatment you can cope with. At least get there and let them have a look, you don't have to let them do anything, but you'll feel better knowing whats up, you can come home and look it up on the internet, and have time to decide what you want to do about it ))

 

[ScaredyCat22]

A dentist told me to rub aspirin tablet or similar on the tooth/gum where it hurts , salt water helps a lot, just put salt on mine and its easing. Sensitive toothpaste helps a lot, rub some on the tooth/gum, and a warm wheatbag on the jaw is really bliss, but be careful it can make your face swell if theres an abscess etc

My mum was terrified of dentists, so dropped me off and went shopping, traumatic! But that was 40 years ago, dentists are much better now, probably better that they don't pick up on your fears, that makes it worse!

Aspirin contains salicylic acid and should never be placed on your tooth or rubbed on your gum. it can burn gum tissue and do more harm than good. No dentist will tell you to put aspirin on your gums.

 

[msb3]

Oh no. I am so sorry to hear that and I know how scary it is. Did he say why there is no way at all to save any of the teeth? Are they cracked too badly for root canals and crowns? I know this must feel like the end of the world to you but honestly it isn't. When this is over you will be pain free, and there are options for replacing the teeth that are lost. I'm really sorry you are going through this at the holidays. I know how miserable it is. I usually start celebrating in October lol. We go all out for Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas but I have been in pain since October 8th and feel like a scrooge who couldn't care less about holidays this year.

It is hard to get in the spirit of things isn't it!!! Thanks so much for your support through this, let's hope we're both up and running soon
The pain has been better today and I haven't been sick. I have the sedation consultation on Monday so hopefully it won't be long after that until I'm sorted. Almost looking forward to getting all the bad ones out and being able to focus on making the good teeth look as good as possible. A lot of positive thinking going on here today haha!!! Xx