kitkat
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I have been thinking about all of the comments and remarks that dentists have made over the years that were well intended and meant to be helpful but had the opposite effect on me. While many of the remarks have been very helpful and reassuring there are a few that stick in my mind as making me more anxious.
These are some of my top ones:
1) "It will be over before you know it" with regards to drilling a tooth. This is very cliche and I will definitely be
counting every second until it is done which is never soon enough. Also, that statement implies to me that something very unpleasant is about to happen .
2) "You might feel ....this a little" with hesitation before "this" in regards to scaling. My first thought is feel what exactly? I think you are searching for a pleasant word to substitute for pain or discomfort and can't find one therefore "this" is your censor word for lack of better options.
3) "If you feel any pain, let me know" before doing something in particular mid-procedure. Usually my dentist says "discomfort" which essentially means the same thing but something about using the "p" word really does make a difference and kicks my anxiety levels up a few points. I find that I have a higher anticipation of pain when I hear her say it. I think my brain is just hardwired that way. Also timing is important. That statement is usually given at the very beginning as a general oversight using the term "discomfort" instead which I find comforting as it gives me control to stop her. If she says that just before she's about to do something in particular though it confirms that whatever she is about to do is potentially painful. Good rule of thumb: if my dentist is anticipating pain, I probably should too!
4) Mentioning anything about me being or appearing nervous/shaky/quivering as an observation. I'm pretty sure everyone in the room is quite certain of my anxiety status without saying it out loud. That one is a toss-up for me. While I'm grateful that it is recognized/noticed and addressed it makes me feel soo self-conscious and stressed at the same time. I haven't decided if that one is actually helpful or not.
AND FOR THE ABSOLUTE WORST ONE (from a past childhood dentist)....
5) "You're going to feel a tiny bee sting" in regards to an injection. I don't know what his experience is with bees but bee stings HURT and the thought of a bee sting in my mouth freaks me out. Bee stings hurt way more than dental injections ever should as my current dentist does painless injections every time. To my memory that injection was quite painful but I'm not sure how much of it had to do with anticipation of pain. What happened to a "small pinch"? I really like the way my current dentist reintroduced injections it as "you may feel a small pinch or you may even feel nothing at all." That is much less threatening than a "bee sting"!
While I'm on the subject of things that ARE helpful I must give my dentist credit in saying that I like the way she introduces the drill as "lots of noise and vibration", the ultrasonic scaling as "lots of water", the matrix band used for fillings as "lots of pressure in between the teeth", and says something along the lines of "I don't expect you to feel this" or "I'll be real gentle" when doing something that I'm very nervous about.
It's amazing how language can influence our perception of different stimuli from the environment. It's a very powerful and therapeutic tool in my opinion when it is used wisely. For the most part my current dentist does a fantastic job with word choice but every now and then she slips up and she's only human so who can blame her? But I just wanted to reflect on things that have helped/not helped me over the years. Does anyone else have helpful/unhelpful remarks or comments to add to my list?
These are some of my top ones:
1) "It will be over before you know it" with regards to drilling a tooth. This is very cliche and I will definitely be
counting every second until it is done which is never soon enough. Also, that statement implies to me that something very unpleasant is about to happen .
2) "You might feel ....this a little" with hesitation before "this" in regards to scaling. My first thought is feel what exactly? I think you are searching for a pleasant word to substitute for pain or discomfort and can't find one therefore "this" is your censor word for lack of better options.
3) "If you feel any pain, let me know" before doing something in particular mid-procedure. Usually my dentist says "discomfort" which essentially means the same thing but something about using the "p" word really does make a difference and kicks my anxiety levels up a few points. I find that I have a higher anticipation of pain when I hear her say it. I think my brain is just hardwired that way. Also timing is important. That statement is usually given at the very beginning as a general oversight using the term "discomfort" instead which I find comforting as it gives me control to stop her. If she says that just before she's about to do something in particular though it confirms that whatever she is about to do is potentially painful. Good rule of thumb: if my dentist is anticipating pain, I probably should too!
4) Mentioning anything about me being or appearing nervous/shaky/quivering as an observation. I'm pretty sure everyone in the room is quite certain of my anxiety status without saying it out loud. That one is a toss-up for me. While I'm grateful that it is recognized/noticed and addressed it makes me feel soo self-conscious and stressed at the same time. I haven't decided if that one is actually helpful or not.
AND FOR THE ABSOLUTE WORST ONE (from a past childhood dentist)....
5) "You're going to feel a tiny bee sting" in regards to an injection. I don't know what his experience is with bees but bee stings HURT and the thought of a bee sting in my mouth freaks me out. Bee stings hurt way more than dental injections ever should as my current dentist does painless injections every time. To my memory that injection was quite painful but I'm not sure how much of it had to do with anticipation of pain. What happened to a "small pinch"? I really like the way my current dentist reintroduced injections it as "you may feel a small pinch or you may even feel nothing at all." That is much less threatening than a "bee sting"!
While I'm on the subject of things that ARE helpful I must give my dentist credit in saying that I like the way she introduces the drill as "lots of noise and vibration", the ultrasonic scaling as "lots of water", the matrix band used for fillings as "lots of pressure in between the teeth", and says something along the lines of "I don't expect you to feel this" or "I'll be real gentle" when doing something that I'm very nervous about.
It's amazing how language can influence our perception of different stimuli from the environment. It's a very powerful and therapeutic tool in my opinion when it is used wisely. For the most part my current dentist does a fantastic job with word choice but every now and then she slips up and she's only human so who can blame her? But I just wanted to reflect on things that have helped/not helped me over the years. Does anyone else have helpful/unhelpful remarks or comments to add to my list?