Update: Crushed :(

[marynyc]

So I went in today for my first of 3 appts to manage all the work I need done, which, in theory, isn’t that much. Last week, the dentist (who I really liked and was glad she was honest, etc) said “all of them are fillings except the big one, which might be worse but I think it’s just really big” - so I come today, an anxious mess because she wouldn’t prescribe me anti-anxiety medication in advance. So I brought my husband.

Almost the first thing she says is, “well, it might just be a filling but I’m leaning towards it’ll need a root canal and crown”

Ok, I wasn’t happy about that because that felt very different from what she said last week, but whatever. I was numb, that was the hardest part, and so it wouldn’t hurt more than I had already expected.

So she eventually stops and says “Ok, I can see the root so it’ll definitely be a root canal, post, and crown” (this is sort of a front tooth - I’m not at all excited - my husband was all more forward teeth don’t usually get crowns, just fillings).

So I said “ok I’m ready” and she starts talking about “the doctor that does them” - so now I feel betrayed. If she thought that was going to be the outcome from the start, why not just have me see the other guy in the first place?! Now I have to come back AGAIN, and possibly again after that if he can’t do it in one visit, which is double the appointments than I was prepared for. Why wouldn’t she just have me see the other guy to begin with, us what I don’t understand.

I was starting to work through the anxiety with “at least it’ll be DONE and fixed when this is over” and now it’s nowhere near over or done and I start grad school in 2 weeks so the scheduling between that and work, is going to be a nightmare.

Not to mention this means I’ll likely have to put off most of the rest of the work until January when my insurance renews and just hope they don’t get any worse by then. I feel crushed. My confidence is gone and I still don’t have a script for anxiety medication.

I’m a mess.

 

[Animalhouse]

So I went in today for my first of 3 appts to manage all the work I need done, which, in theory, isn’t that much. Last week, the dentist (who I really liked and was glad she was honest, etc) said “all of them are fillings except the big one, which might be worse but I think it’s just really big” - so I come today, an anxious mess because she wouldn’t prescribe me anti-anxiety medication in advance. So I brought my husband.

Almost the first thing she says is, “well, it might just be a filling but I’m leaning towards it’ll need a root canal and crown”

Ok, I wasn’t happy about that because that felt very different from what she said last week, but whatever. I was numb, that was the hardest part, and so it wouldn’t hurt more than I had already expected.

So she eventually stops and says “Ok, I can see the root so it’ll definitely be a root canal, post, and crown” (this is sort of a front tooth - I’m not at all excited - my husband was all more forward teeth don’t usually get crowns, just fillings).

So I said “ok I’m ready” and she starts talking about “the doctor that does them” - so now I feel betrayed. If she thought that was going to be the outcome from the start, why not just have me see the other guy in the first place?! Now I have to come back AGAIN, and possibly again after that if he can’t do it in one visit, which is double the appointments than I was prepared for. Why wouldn’t she just have me see the other guy to begin with, us what I don’t understand.

I was starting to work through the anxiety with “at least it’ll be DONE and fixed when this is over” and now it’s nowhere near over or done and I start grad school in 2 weeks so the scheduling between that and work, is going to be a nightmare.

Not to mention this means I’ll likely have to put off most of the rest of the work until January when my insurance renews and just hope they don’t get any worse by then. I feel crushed. My confidence is gone and I still don’t have a script for anxiety medication.

I’m a mess.

I'm sorry it isn't going too smoothly for you, but let me share my recent experience. I started my dental journey a few months ago and I thought I only needed fillings and a deep cleaning. Now I've had the cleaning, fillings, and 2 root canals. My dentist explained to me that it isn't always cut and dry when it comes to root canals. They like to avoid doing them if possible since it weakens the tooth, but sometimes they don't don't know that a root canal is needed until they see with their own eyes the extent of the decay. In my case, I had a few very deep fillings and the aftermath left me with sharp sensitivity/pain to hot and cold...like so unbearable that it felt like someone was punching me in the face. Even then, it was possible that the nerve would heal on it's own over the course of days, weeks, months, who knows but it never did improve, so I got the root canals last week. So I really think your dentist isn't lying to you, they just wanted to be sure what you really needed. Now after having the root canals, I'm slowly on the mend and it's not too bad. Lots and lots of people have root canals. My husband told me his sister had one in high school and his family has always been on top of their dental health. So try not to worry or feel too bad. It's not the end of the world and crowns aren't so bad either. I have one right now and it feels and looks just like my natural tooth. I hope the rest of your appointments go okay and that you feel better soon!

 

[marynyc]

I don’t necessarily think she was lying but if she said to me “I’m leaning towards it needing a root canal” then why not have me see the specialist to start? Then he could have said “yes it does, we can do it now” or “no, actually not, so I’ll just fill it”

But last week she said one thing and today she said another. The root canal & crown will all cost over $900 - 80% of which my insurance will cover, but still. It means that my goal of having all of this done by my 30th birthday won’t happen because that’s Jan 4.

I was just so looking forward to having all of this taken care of in the next few weeks. I was so confident and really trying to hype myself up for taking care of it all...and this first visit was such a crushing experience, I’m deflated.

And there goes all my sick leave because the only available appts are during the day.

 

[LittleLynnie]

I'm guessing that you're in NYC? Canadian dentistry is quite similar to that in the US because it isn't covered by the government. I had 19 root canals over a period of about 20 years when I was younger, and some were done by my dentist. When I had to go to an endodontist though, he/she insisted on a "consultation" first, and then I had to go back a second time for him/her to do the work.

I'm only saying this, because if the specialist is not in the same practise as your dentist, you may, in fact, have to go to even more appointments.

 

[marynyc]

I'm guessing that you're in NYC? Canadian dentistry is quite similar to that in the US because it isn't covered by the government. I had 19 root canals over a period of about 20 years when I was younger, and some were done by my dentist. When I had to go to an endodontist though, he/she insisted on a "consultation" first, and then I had to go back a second time for him/her to do the work.

I'm only saying this, because if the specialist is not in the same practise as your dentist, you may, in fact, have to go to even more appointments.

Yes, NYC. It’s a dentist through the Columbia Faculty practices (NOT students!), so thankfully, it’s in the same practice and I’ll see him on a day he’s in the same office as the doctor I’ve been seeing. She claims he’s nice but, I’m just skeptical overall. The numbing from today has worn off completely and I’m in zero pain.

It’s frustrating to be told I need a more complex procedure that is doubly time consuming when I’m not even in pain. There’s a temporary filling in it now, and I even ate dinner with no pain. *sigh*

I can’t even say I regret finally taking care of all of this, because I would have eventually been in pain. But it seems unfair that I went before there was pain and I’m still out of luck. It also renews my anger over the dentist I saw 5 years ago who pulled the tooth next to this one, and didn’t bother to take care of the cavity. It’s the whole reason I went down this anxiety fueled spiral to begin with.

 

[LittleLynnie]

Great that they work together, so you shouldn't need another consult before getting the work done. I hope that everything works out for you.

 

[Animalhouse]

Yes, NYC. It’s a dentist through the Columbia Faculty practices (NOT students!), so thankfully, it’s in the same practice and I’ll see him on a day he’s in the same office as the doctor I’ve been seeing. She claims he’s nice but, I’m just skeptical overall. The numbing from today has worn off completely and I’m in zero pain.

It’s frustrating to be told I need a more complex procedure that is doubly time consuming when I’m not even in pain. There’s a temporary filling in it now, and I even ate dinner with no pain. *sigh*

I can’t even say I regret finally taking care of all of this, because I would have eventually been in pain. But it seems unfair that I went before there was pain and I’m still out of luck. It also renews my anger over the dentist I saw 5 years ago who pulled the tooth next to this one, and didn’t bother to take care of the cavity. It’s the whole reason I went down this anxiety fueled spiral to begin with.

I could be wrong, but I don't think it is common practice to have fillings and extractions done at the same time. I imagine that drilling into a decayed tooth could increase the risk of bacteria spreading to the extraction sight and entering the bloodstream. I'm no expert but that could be the case. Either way the previous dentist should have set something up for a filling later on.

It is also probably better to get a root canal before there is pain. I did not have an abscess, but the pain I did have was severe enough that I could not imagine the pain of that which leads people to the emergency room. I've been pretty bummed about my own experience too. Luckily I don't have a job so I haven't had to miss work. I expected to have all of my work done in 2 visits and now I have been to the dentist something like 14 times since March. I suppose that's why people refer it to a 'journey' filled with a roller coaster of emotions. You still have some time left before your birthday though...so hopefully this can all be finished before then. You will get through this and when it is all done you will be so proud of yourself for everything that you accomplished!

 

[Enarete]

Hi marynyc,

sorry to read about your experience and I understand how defeated you must feel now. It sounds like an unpleasant combination of unclear communication about the treatment, the costs and the doctor who would do the treatment.

As Animalhouse suggests, if a tooth needs a deep filling, it's often impossible to predict if a filling will work or if the tooth will end up needing a root canal. This is because x-rays are not too precise when it comes to the depth of decay and the dentist basically cannot know how deep he/she will have to go before actually working on the tooth. What I feel went wrong in the first place is that your dentist didn't explain this to you clearly. You should have known that a filling is planned, but if the cavity will have to be too deep, a root canal and later a crown will be needed. You should also get informed about the costs before any work on the tooth starts so that you are prepared.

In my practice there is a dentist who has a special education in endodontics (means in root canals). If a someone needs a root canal treatment, it will be done by this dentist, regardless who the regular dentist is as a root canal treatment is considered being a special area of dentistry that should be done by dentists who are extra trained. It sounds like this might be the way how your practice works and the reason why your root canal treatment is supposed to be done by a different dentist. Again, it would be just fair to explain this to you in advance, just out of respect to the fact that most people do not feel comfortable by being treated by someone they had never seen before.

I understand how frustrating this is and you have all the reason to need time to process this and get over it. I wished things would go more smoothly for you. Hope you feel better soon and get the needed treatment. I am sure sooner or later all your work will be done and you will be happy and relieved.

All the best wishes and keep us posted

 

[marynyc]

It just feels like yesterday’s appointment was a waste of emotional energy. No sleep before, a terrible day at work leading up to it. This tooth was prettt bad and I think she knew it would be a root canal, since before she started, I said “Ok, so it’s a filling but might be worse, when will you know” and she said “Wll, I’m really leaning towards it being a root canal and crown, but I’ll let you know as I go” - if it was 50/50, I could understand but it sounded more like she was saying the chances were very high, like 80-90% that it would be more. What gets me though is she never mentioned a different doctor. It would have been better off starting with him and if it was just a filling, I’m sure he could have handled that.

You’re right, half the battle is I’ve been saying ok she’s great, I can do this, WE can do this, and I trusted her. Now I’ve got a temporary whatever in there, a wasted afternoon off from work, and at LEAST two more appointments for this ONE tooth - even if the root canal can be done in one appointment, there’s a crown necessary - that I was lead to believe would be fixed yesterday.

Plus the other 4 fillings. But when I see the endodontist on Monday, I’m going to ask him to look at the X-rays of the other big cavity and give his opinion. I absolutely do not want this to happen again if he could just start and do the filling if needed and a root canal if it’s worse. I feel like if this happens again I’ll just give up. I can’t take the anxiety filled days leading up to it.

There’s no way to do it all before my birthday because my insurance cap is $1500 and the root canal/crown will be over $900 (60% covered, the rest out of my pocke). Fillings are THANKFULLY covered 100% but how many can I get when I’ve already had a cleaning come off the $1500 and the ~$700 off the $1500. And when I tried asking the front desk lady for specific amounts she didn’t understand why I was asking. She kept saying “it’s covered 100%” which is all well and good except there’s a cap. So she put in the largest/worst filling, code, and it was $180 I guess. So maybe the big one and another one, and then the rest has to wait because I don’t have the money to pay out of pocket.

I’m still feeling pretty defeated today and I had another nightmare filled sleepless night. Literally the only thing that hurts from yesterday is where she injected the numbing. Annoying.

I’ll try to stop whining, I’m just so frustrated.

 

[Animalhouse]

It just feels like yesterday’s appointment was a waste of emotional energy. No sleep before, a terrible day at work leading up to it. This tooth was prettt bad and I think she knew it would be a root canal, since before she started, I said “Ok, so it’s a filling but might be worse, when will you know” and she said “Wll, I’m really leaning towards it being a root canal and crown, but I’ll let you know as I go” - if it was 50/50, I could understand but it sounded more like she was saying the chances were very high, like 80-90% that it would be more. What gets me though is she never mentioned a different doctor. It would have been better off starting with him and if it was just a filling, I’m sure he could have handled that.

You’re right, half the battle is I’ve been saying ok she’s great, I can do this, WE can do this, and I trusted her. Now I’ve got a temporary whatever in there, a wasted afternoon off from work, and at LEAST two more appointments for this ONE tooth - even if the root canal can be done in one appointment, there’s a crown necessary - that I was lead to believe would be fixed yesterday.

Plus the other 4 fillings. But when I see the endodontist on Monday, I’m going to ask him to look at the X-rays of the other big cavity and give his opinion. I absolutely do not want this to happen again if he could just start and do the filling if needed and a root canal if it’s worse. I feel like if this happens again I’ll just give up. I can’t take the anxiety filled days leading up to it.

There’s no way to do it all before my birthday because my insurance cap is $1500 and the root canal/crown will be over $900 (60% covered, the rest out of my pocke). Fillings are THANKFULLY covered 100% but how many can I get when I’ve already had a cleaning come off the $1500 and the ~$700 off the $1500. And when I tried asking the front desk lady for specific amounts she didn’t understand why I was asking. She kept saying “it’s covered 100%” which is all well and good except there’s a cap. So she put in the largest/worst filling, code, and it was $180 I guess. So maybe the big one and another one, and then the rest has to wait because I don’t have the money to pay out of pocket.

I’m still feeling pretty defeated today and I had another nightmare filled sleepless night. Literally the only thing that hurts from yesterday is where she injected the numbing. Annoying.

I’ll try to stop whining, I’m just so frustrated.

Ah, that pesky insurance. I maxed out mine one month into the new plan year. I was supposed to have my wisdom teeth removed soon but my medical insurance will only pay for one of them, so I'm out of luck too until next July. I really don't understand why the cap is so limited, it really isn't fair. :/

 

[mikeysgirl1]

gosh your post resonated with me so much. You were so kind to me yesterday when I was worked up about my apt for extractions today, im so sorry you had this experience. They froze you for nothing? for me that is such a difficult step, the freezing.
I am so sorry...
as for my apt I posted an update, long story short I got there but after looking at exrays he determined that it is too complicated to not have me sedated. So the stress and anxiety of the build up was for nothing. I sympathize with you..
we will get through this!!! hang in there

 

[marynyc]

Ah, that pesky insurance. I maxed out mine one month into the new plan year. I was supposed to have my wisdom teeth removed soon but my medical insurance will only pay for one of them, so I'm out of luck too until next July. I really don't understand why the cap is so limited, it really isn't fair. :/

And thankfully it's even $1500! That's for "Columbia Preferred" (ie. Columbia faculty ones) and the regular insurance companies network is $1250. So I'm lucky to begin with.

I think around $740 of the Root canal will be covered - I'd be so out of luck if I wasn't married to my husband because I can't afford the out of pocket on top of that. I think that's another layer of frustrating with all of this (the overall state of dental care in America) - insurance is so limiting that you have to essentially pick which teeth mean the most to you. Ours resets in January so I won't have to way terribly long from when I started. Though the lady told me the most expensive filling type on billing was $180 so...I guess then that the other 4 cavities would still be possible within the cap. Just under the line.

I've just cheered myself up a bit with math - who thought that would ever happen I'll take any silver lining I can get at this point.

But you all are amazing and having somewhere to talk candidly is helping me a lot <3

 

[mikeysgirl1]

Im so so sorry you are dealing with this. I completely sympathize. It will all work out eventually but very frustrating. hang in there

 

[marynyc]

So I’m doing a lot better today. Feeling less like Wednesday was such a waste even though I still wish it was fully taken care of then. This temporary filling has changed my life. I ate ice cream yesterday! Cold, frozen, ice cream. And it didn’t hurt. Cold water. Iced coffee. I chewed spaghetti easily (I am wary of chewing anything on that side and won’t chew anything hard or sticky or anything but pasta seemed safe) without pain or worrying about food getting stuck in the cavity. It’s encouraging to feel this sort of normalcy and boosts my spirit about the rest of the work that needs doing.

 

[marynyc]

I did so great all weekend, and then, yet another sleepless night. My Apple watch keeps alerting me to my heart rate, because of the anxiety. My appt is at 3:30. I have two other appointments scheduled in September for the other teeth and I'm going to insist upon anxiety medication. If they don't, I'll find a new dentist. I can't keep doing this. I can't even eat anything for the anxiety. I also have Crohns Disease and the stress is making me feel physically ill. My husband is meeting me again for this appointment at least, so I won't be alone. I don't know if he'll be free for the others, though

 

[mikeysgirl1]

sending you strength and energy.. you will get through it, the worst (anticipation) is almost over. Hoping this one goes better for you..keep us posted.

 

[Animalhouse]

I did so great all weekend, and then, yet another sleepless night. My Apple watch keeps alerting me to my heart rate, because of the anxiety. My appt is at 3:30. I have two other appointments scheduled in September for the other teeth and I'm going to insist upon anxiety medication. If they don't, I'll find a new dentist. I can't keep doing this. I can't even eat anything for the anxiety. I also have Crohns Disease and the stress is making me feel physically ill. My husband is meeting me again for this appointment at least, so I won't be alone. I don't know if he'll be free for the others, though

I think a lot of dentists feel the weight of the government on their shoulders when it comes to prescribing anxiety and pain meds these days. There are newer federal guidelines from what I've heard and my dentist still prescribes things but they no longer dispense medicine (has to be picked up at a pharmacy). I wonder if your primary care doctor could help you out with this since he/she is more aware of your other medical conditions. If you are up to date on annual check ups, you might not even have to go in.

 

[marynyc]

I think a lot of dentists feel the weight of the government on their shoulders when it comes to prescribing anxiety and pain meds these days. There are newer federal guidelines from what I've heard and my dentist still prescribes things but they no longer dispense medicine (has to be picked up at a pharmacy). I wonder if your primary care doctor could help you out with this since he/she is more aware of your other medical conditions. If you are up to date on annual check ups, you might not even have to go in.

I don't even have a GP right now. I was being treated for 2 years by a GI around my Crohns diagnosis but it's apparently so mild, I don't even take anything for it, and the new GI I was seeing put me off going to find a new doc at all. I'm generally pretty healthy other than allergies but since my allergy med was made over the counter, I haven't even been in to see my allergist.

I just don't understand why doctors at a massive medical facility (all my other doctors are through Columbia health as well) can't just prescribe it. It doesn't make sense. Though I do need to find a GP - it's on my to-do list but all of these dental appointments are taking up all of my mental energy, not to mention, my sick time.

 

[Animalhouse]

I don't even have a GP right now. I was being treated for 2 years by a GI around my Crohns diagnosis but it's apparently so mild, I don't even take anything for it, and the new GI I was seeing put me off going to find a new doc at all. I'm generally pretty healthy other than allergies but since my allergy med was made over the counter, I haven't even been in to see my allergist.

I just don't understand why doctors at a massive medical facility (all my other doctors are through Columbia health as well) can't just prescribe it. It doesn't make sense. Though I do need to find a GP - it's on my to-do list but all of these dental appointments are taking up all of my mental energy, not to mention, my sick time.

I'm not really sure. It shouldn't be that big of a deal to prescribe a small dose for a dental procedure, but some say that it doesn't really help all that much either. I've been given valium for the night before my procedure and it really didn't make much of a difference for me, but results vary. I know that a big part of your anxiety is leading up to the appointment itself, but I wonder if maybe Nitrous would work for you during the actual visit? Then maybe you wouldn't be as worried since you will know that you will be okay during the visit. It took me quite some time to get over the hurdle of not panicking during the days leading up to it. I know exactly what you mean. The first few times I went this year, I felt sick to my stomach the day before and the day of up until it was time to leave the dentist. My heart rate was off the charts as well. As soon as I left, I was back to normal.

I've also been mentally drained by medical stuff like you. I never used to go to the doctor until I moved to a new city and decided that at 30 years old, it was time to start taking care of myself. My primary doctor diagnosed me with thyroid disease and I spent the first 6 months of the year dealing with medication adjustments and blood tests. Then once the medicine started improving my mood, I decided to take care of myself even further and start dieting and exercise. Due to the new routine, I ended up with a stress fracture in my leg that still wont heal. Then i decided to focus on my teeth which has sent me through 4 months of expenses and never ending pain. So now I can't eat without pain, walk without pain, and my thyroid is not right again but I dont feel like paying for any more doctor visits until I go for my annual visit.

Anyway, my point is...medical stuff is incredibly draining and I dont think it ever really does end. I look at my elderly relatives and see that their whole lives practically revolve around doctor's appointments. I'm hoping that by taking care of myself now, I wont have as many problems as they do in the future. It is still hard to see the silver lining through it all.

I hope things start looking up for you soon

 

[Enarete]

Sorry to hear that your anxiety got worse again, especially that things are so difficult with the Crohns desease. Hope your dentist can help you to find a way to be able to cope or may you find a good GP who can help you with this.