Update:told my parents about my dental fear!?

[Bunbun]

Finally told them. Apparently they feel the same and that is why they have never been with us as kids again

They are really not keen on coming with me to support me. How do I convince them? I can't go alone

 

[Tink]

Oh, hey, you told them! Well done, I know how hard that was for you! x

Was just reading your other thread then this appeared.


Will post more later this evening...back shortly

 

[Tink]

Hello, back as promised!


OK so first of all I just wanted to say again, well done for telling them! I promise I'm not just saying this, you really are doing amazingly well - you've already taken the first steps by coming on here and then by telling your parents, and despite encountering obstacles you're still going, taking the initiative and doing something good for yourself. So give yourself some credit here! You are much stronger than you think x

It sounds so much like a lot of what you need is confidence. Remember, you're scared but you're still here, still doing it - ultimately it's what you manage to do that matters, not how scared you felt doing it. Don't beat yourself up over that.


Re your parents - I do still wonder if there is anybody else you could ask to come with you for moral support? A friend, or another relative? It may be that your parents are just not best placed to support you with this. If they did come, would the support they gave be helpful to you?

Also remember what I said before - when you get there, the staff and the dentist will be able to support you - you won't be doing this alone! They are there to help. And there will be plenty of people here rooting for you!


So, you're 21 (I think?), and you've already taken the first steps towards taking control of your own healthcare/dental care. Remember, your parents are not in control of your dental care...you are. It's your own choice to do this, and you're making the right choice for yourself. You are so much stronger than you think, and you are doing so much better than you think! I know it's scary stepping out into the unknown, but you've got this, and you have help from us here. The dentist will treat you like an adult too, it's not like it was when you were a kid - when you are in there, you are in control, always.


Finally, if you still feel your parents are your best bet (only you can know this), then maybe the way in is to show understanding that you have this shared fear, that you know where they are coming from. Find some common ground and then work on it together. There's room for mutual support and understanding there, if they're up for it!

Do give some thought to whether you could ask a friend instead though!

 

[Tink]

Just to add - earlier today you said this:

But how do I just say to my mum I need to go to the dentist and I'm absolutely terrified about it ? I just can't see myself being brave enough.

...but then you did it! So it's your idea of how brave you are that needs recalibrating. You are officially brave enough to do things you didn't think you could do!

 

[Bunbun]

Hello, back as promised!


OK so first of all I just wanted to say again, well done for telling them! I promise I'm not just saying this, you really are doing amazingly well - you've already taken the first steps by coming on here and then by telling your parents, and despite encountering obstacles you're still going, taking the initiative and doing something good for yourself. So give yourself some credit here! You are much stronger than you think x

It sounds so much like a lot of what you need is confidence. Remember, you're scared but you're still here, still doing it - ultimately it's what you manage to do that matters, not how scared you felt doing it. Don't beat yourself up over that.


Re your parents - I do still wonder if there is anybody else you could ask to come with you for moral support? A friend, or another relative? It may be that your parents are just not best placed to support you with this. If they did come, would the support they gave be helpful to you?

Also remember what I said before - when you get there, the staff and the dentist will be able to support you - you won't be doing this alone! They are there to help. And there will be plenty of people here rooting for you!


So, you're 21 (I think?), and you've already taken the first steps towards taking control of your own healthcare/dental care. Remember, your parents are not in control of your dental care...you are. It's your own choice to do this, and you're making the right choice for yourself. You are so much stronger than you think, and you are doing so much better than you think! I know it's scary stepping out into the unknown, but you've got this, and you have help from us here. The dentist will treat you like an adult too, it's not like it was when you were a kid - when you are in there, you are in control, always.


Finally, if you still feel your parents are your best bet (only you can know this), then maybe the way in is to show understanding that you have this shared fear, that you know where they are coming from. Find some common ground and then work on it together. There's room for mutual support and understanding there, if they're up for it!

Do give some thought to whether you could ask a friend instead though!

I don't have a friend I feel comfortable enough with to tell them my dental fears I'm just so embarrassed plus most are on holiday or at Uni

Now it's just physically getting there and making THAT appointment

 

[Tink]

You'd be surprised at how many people feel the same way about dentists! Honestly, the number of times somebody will spend ages screwing up the courage to tell somebody and then the friend will say "me too!" People may understand more than you think.


I suppose it comes down to what bothers you more:

- Telling a friend
or
- Going on your own (but with support from us, and from the people at the dentist)

That's another of those things that only you can answer.

Do you have a way of getting there - is there public transport, or do you need somebody to drive you? Is asking one of your parents if they would drive you there but not come in with you an option?


Every post you're edging closer to making it, you can do this! One step at a time x

 

[comfortdentist]

As a parent I'm saddened by this.

 

[anxiousbum]

Hey BunBun,

Well done for everything that you have achieved so far, you're doing really well.

Unfortunately, my parents were unable to support me too and their phobia was the same reason why they never took me as a child too. It sucks but I honestly have found support through finding the right dentist, I hope if it comes to it that you can do the same.

Good luck with everything and keep us updated.

Also, I don't know where you are in the UK but if you're nearby I'd be willing to come with if it helped?

 

[Bunbun]

Hey BunBun,

Well done for everything that you have achieved so far, you're doing really well.

Unfortunately, my parents were unable to support me too and their phobia was the same reason why they never took me as a child too. It sucks but I honestly have found support through finding the right dentist, I hope if it comes to it that you can do the same.

Good luck with everything and keep us updated.

Also, I don't know where you are in the UK but if you're nearby I'd be willing to come with if it helped?

It has slightly annoyed me that they have never taken me much but I also understand the phobia is very debilitating

I live in the north east?

You are all so kind on here your making me well up ?

 

[anxiousbum]

Aww I think it might be a bit far our sorry as I am in the Midlands, if I could drive then I would have come up.

I'll be here on this forum for you though.

I know what you mean about the parent thing, I used to feel a bit angry with my parents about it and occasionally still do..it can be such a controlling phobia though. I'm currently trying to encourage my mum through setting an example, time will tell though.

 

[Bunbun]

Aww I think it might be a bit far our sorry as I am in the Midlands, if I could drive then I would have come up.

I'll be here on this forum for you though.

I know what you mean about the parent thing, I used to feel a bit angry with my parents about it and occasionally still do..it can be such a controlling phobia though. I'm currently trying to encourage my mum through setting an example, time will tell though.

Thanks for the offer anyway. ?

I don't know what to do next? Should I bring it up again tonight with her?