Urgent Advice Needed - Please No Judgement

[UnearthedDisc4]

Hi

Hoping everyone is well.

I’m looking for some help / advice in addressing a major, major problem I have.

I’m 30 years old. I am from the UK. I have severe mental health issues (Anxiety & Depression) & am Autistic. I am a very extreme dental phobic.

My issue is so bad that I have never seen a dentist and, if I am completely honest, nor have I unfortunately ever taken the best care of my oral health. I regret both of these very deeply, but am too terrified to do anything about it or seek help in getting this sorted.

I honestly cannot find the words to describe how utterly petrified I am. I literally cannot even see an advert on the TV, or a picture of a dentist in a newspaper or anything without erupting into full-on panic - sweating, heart-racing, feeling physically sick & unable to breathe & like I’m about to pass out. I cannot physically visually see a dentist. Even people discussing dentists or treatment within my earshot sparks me off. If I go out (which I rarely do anyway due to my mental health as this is hard for me) but on occasions that I do, I have to plan routes specifically to avoid passing a dentists clinic as I can’t even walk past one or see one.

I’ve looked at several potential options for possibly treating this like sedation or hypnosis, etc. but even the thought of this knowing I would be conscious is too uncomfortable & unnerving for me to face.

I cannot even bring myself to tolerate a simple check-up even.

I had wanted to pop into a local surgery to speak with even a receptionist or go in to speak to someone at the local dental hospital about this but I can’t bear the thought of actually coming face-to-face or speaking with a dentist themselves about this in person - I am struggling even just to write this post.

The only thing I can possibly relate this too is one single memory that I have from about the age of 4. My parents took me to a local dentist & all I remember is being called into the room, seeing the dentist & nurse with their faces covered, a huge bright light above a chair I was to sit on & a whole bunch of sharp tools laid out on the small table next to the dentist. I was asked to take a seat & that was that, I just remember running as fast as I could out of that room, out of the building & back to our parked car as I was just so scared & never able to go back.

As I have grown up, I have always wanted too so much, but never been able to pluck up the courage to do so. I have tried a number of times to book an appointment (trust me I know how lucky I have been to even do that with the NHS here) & always had to cancel as I just can’t do it.

Having since been diagnosed with Autism, it has started to dawn on me that (although probably not the only thing as I feel like I’m literally scared of every little part of it), but I think the mask thing was a big element of it as I remember during Covid being terrified of everyone going around in surgical masks & gloves, etc.

I am so ashamed. I am embarrassed by my teeth and this situation as a whole and, although not the only reason, this is a massive cause of my mental health problems.

I know the extent of this may sound utterly, utterly ridiculous the fact I even struggle to discuss it but I really don’t know why this is such a huge deal or so difficult to do a simple chat even about the topic.

I totally understand if it is not possible to do anything on something this completely extreme but please may I ask if there is is anything you’d be able to do or advise to help me approach this at all please?

Many thanks in advance, I do really appreciate it.

 

[letsconnect]

Hi there and welcome @UnearthedDisc4 ! There definitely won't be any judgment around here, that's for sure.

A couple of thoughts - are you currently working with a psychologist with regards to the depression and anxiety? If so, have you brought up the dental phobia issue with them at all? It would be really good to have someone by your side to work through this, and maybe even help you find a supportive dentist. They may also be able to refer you to the Community Dental Service, which in many areas of the UK provides services to people who cannot cope in a mainstream NHS dental practice. With your autism, mental health, and dental phobia, I think you would fit the criteria in most parts of the UK (though it's always a bit of a postcode lottery!).

Another alternative (finances permitting) would be to consult with a private dentist who has a special interest in helping people overcome their phobia.

But that's a few steps into the future . Is discussing the problem with a psychologist something that you would consider at all?

We've also got some materials on this website which might help with figuring out what exactly it is you're terrified of. You can find them on the Downloads page, or else, here are some direct links to the PDF files:

https://www.dentalfearcentral.org/media/what-i-fear.pdf

https://www.dentalfearcentral.org/media/what-might-help.pdf

Thanks for joining our forum

 

[UnearthedDisc4]

Thankyou @letsconnect I really appreciate your advice & the suggestions made. Yes, I see a counsellor about my depression & anxiety issues, but have never spoken specifically about this dental issue as I am embarrassed & feel disgusting that I’ve never been & ashamed at the state of my teeth - that’s why I was worried if be judged, so thankyou so much for understanding - so I’ve always hidden this from pretty much everyone, this is the first proper time I have really discussed the issue with anyone else. I will definitely be open to seeking psychologist help with it & will look at the resources you’ve linked. I very much appreciate your help & support. Many Thanks. Kind Regards, Unearthed.