What caused your fear or phobia?

[Teix]

I never had any trauma. My dentists up till I was around 14 were lovely, gentle and kind. I wasn’t keen on the last one I had because she was stern and no nonsense so had no time for my anxiety.

But I’ve always been scared of the dentist. Maybe it was the vibes my parents gave out when we visited? Or maybe it’s because I’ve always been an anxious person!

What certainly hasn’t helped was watching those make over programmes from the mid 2000s. Or being told that my Father bites down hard on his teeth before eating to stop them falling out....

 

[MamaSeesa]

I have always had a phobia, I think because I have soft teeth and/ or dry mouth and thus needed work done after every checkup. I used to pray for Jesus to come rapture the church before my next appointment!
When I went to college, I stopped going for about 2 years since my mom couldn't make me. Then I was getting married and wanted a pretty smile. After 2 years of not going, I had 9 cavities, periodontal disease, and needed one molar pulled. I was still terrified, but I made myself get it all done. The periodontist is who did me in. He blamed me for my tooth decay, made me sit through an hour long video of what tooth decay does to you, and generally shamed me for needing work done. Then when he actually worked on my teeth, he forcefully jammed the needle in (and I needed it 3 times for the procedure). I was crying, the hygienist was embarrassed, and he never said a word to me. My phobia became PTSD. I didn't go to a dentist again for 15 years (tried once 10 years after, had 5 panic attacks). The needles are my trigger. I was sedated to get work done, and I came out of it crying when they were numbing me. Both sedation appointments. My daughter had to be numbed to have a baby tooth pulled and I had to turn away and have a small panic attack just thinking about what they were doing. Thankfully I found a dentist whose entire office is designed for people with anxiety, phobias, and PTSD.

 

[Garcha]

I have needle phobia not due to bad dental experiences but bad doctor experiences. As a kid my tonsils would get irritated very easily and I'd make frequent trips to the doctor. The doctor would often prescribe injections for my infection. Since I didn't have "enough muscle" in my arms or thighs as a kid I was injected in my butt ( WEIRD IK). I hated it as it hurt and I moved so much in resistance that almost 4 nurses had to pin me down every time. That trauma has turned into a fear of needles because it reminds me of that pain and trauma. I have gotten multiple injections growing up but still the fear is still there.

 

[Chris1986UK]

I had a injection in the roof of my mouth, when I was fairly young and it REALLY hurt.
I’ve had hypnotherapy since and have conquered my fear in general. An injection in the roof of the mouth would however still make me very nervous to say the least. It may not be as bad now, but it’s the only experience I have.

 

[Timid Llama]

My childhood dentist used to give fillings with no anaesthetic. That pretty much started a lifelong fear. There have been numerous things since. Loose front teeth after surgical removal of a tooth in my palette followed by stitches being left in by accident. I still remember the dentist yanking away for ages before he realised the end was wrapped around the tooth next to it. Then there a really bad root canal where they couldn't get it numb and the pain was so bad when they hit the nerve.

My most recent experience has made me spiral even worse. I got an anaesthetic injection on the palette side of an upper back tooth that needed extracted. The dentist did warn me that it would hurt but the pain was beyond anything I could imagine. I felt a pushing/ripping sensation as he got the needle into the right spot and I started screaming, then he injected the liquid and it turned into a proper blood curdling, someone is being murdered scream. I didn't even know that I could scream, but apparently I'm very good at it!

 

[letsconnect]

My childhood dentist used to give fillings with no anaesthetic. That pretty much started a lifelong fear. There have been numerous things since. Loose front teeth after surgical removal of a tooth in my palette followed by stitches being left in by accident. I still remember the dentist yanking away for ages before he realised the end was wrapped around the tooth next to it. Then there a really bad root canal where they couldn't get it numb and the pain was so bad when they hit the nerve.

My most recent experience has made me spiral even worse. I got an anaesthetic injection on the palette side of an upper back tooth that needed extracted. The dentist did warn me that it would hurt but the pain was beyond anything I could imagine. I felt a pushing/ripping sensation as he got the needle into the right spot and I started screaming, then he injected the liquid and it turned into a proper blood curdling, someone is being murdered scream. I didn't even know that I could scream, but apparently I'm very good at it!

That sounds terrible . So sorry that this has happened to you, and that it has happened repeatedly.

Did you know that we have a section on the forum with dentists who have been recommended by our forum members? You can find the section for Scotland here:

Dentists for nervous patients in Scotland

Dentist reviews and listings for dentists in Scotland who have an interest in helping nervous or phobia patients overcome their fears.

www.dentalfearcentral.org

 

[Timid Llama]

That sounds terrible ?. So sorry that this has happened to you, and that it has happened repeatedly.

Did you know that we have a section on the forum with dentists who have been recommended by our forum members? You can find the section for Scotland here:

Dentists for nervous patients in Scotland

Dentist reviews and listings for dentists in Scotland who have an interest in helping nervous or phobia patients overcome their fears.

www.dentalfearcentral.org

Thanks for giving me a heads up. My biggest issue is needing an NHS dentist reasonably near me as I sadly still need a lot of work done. I'm so scared that no matter who I change to, will still either not give me time to feel comfortable/safe, or that maybe my mouth is so bad because of an eating disorder that no matter what they do it will still hurt, and it will be all of my own doing.

 

[keikokeiko]

I checked off multiple bad experiences and humiliation, since childhood. I wasn't very good about taking care of my teeth, I was just so naive and didn't understand the importance, and it was always thrown back in my face. My teeth are also very sensitive, so once I had spacers being put in my teeth and I was crying, the hygienist pointed to a boy younger than me in the seat next to me and said "look, he's younger than you, and HE'S not crying!". They would also do that when me and my sister both had appointments together and I was the one crying. Injections were also painful as a kid, as I've read, they simply didn't know how to administer them so they didn't hurt as much back in the 90s. The last childhood experience I had was when I was about 11, I had lost my bottom retainer and my teeth were beginning to shift. The dentist was NOT happy. I remember him pacing around me, one hand on his hip, the other rubbing his chin, while I just stared up at the light, ignoring his rants and waiting for this visit to be over. When he noticed me not looking at him, he shoves the light away and gets right in my face to make sure I'm listening to him. From there I just learned to believe dentists are there to make you feel bad about yourself.

I'm 31 now and finally overcome my phobias after finding the right dentists who are professional and care about you!

 

[Catie McBain]

Mine is a long story, but I know how this all began.

This all started when I was really young, like around four years old, and had to do with negative experiences at the doctor. Because when I was little, the doctors always had to pull my pants down in order to give me a shot in my bottom. As a child, I remember feeling scared and vulnerable, unsure of why they had to basically strip me naked from the waist down, and I fought with them because my mother always taught me that strangers aren't supposed to see or touch those places.

It didn't help that I was being molested by a teacher at preschool. All of this combined to make me afraid of doctor visits, because they were holding me down while I was screaming and crying, usually two women restraining me and taking my clothes off. This is also how I developed a fear of needles, because when they brought out the needle for a vaccination, I knew they were going to pull my pants down, like the teacher who was molesting me.

In time my fears developed into a phobia of needles, medical procedures, hospitals, medical tests, doctors, dentists, everything and all of it. The molestation combined with the nurses who held me down and removed my clothes made me develop the phobia.

Because of this, I fear being restrained by people in the medical and dental profession, fear because I'm afraid of what they'll do to me once they have me down, fear because I have been physically restrained in the past. I feel vulnerable in any kind of medical or dental setting, and there have been times when I've had nightmares about being kidnapped and held prisoner by doctors in a hospital, nightmares about being raped by doctors.

Of course, I've also heard horror stories about dentists who rape their female patients while they're under anesthesia. I've already had some really bad experiences, and although I know the chances of that happening to me are slim, I always think what if I'm next. And that's why I'm afraid. That is why I have panic attacks and can't tolerate having injections or any kind of medical/dental procedures.

My mother has also told me about a time when I was a baby and had to be restrained with a straight jacket while at the doctor's office. It was because I had stuffed a bunch of fuzzballs from my blanket up my nose. So they held me down, put me in a straight jacket, and then shoved a long pair of tweezers up my nose to get the fuzzballs out because I had developed a sinus infection. I have no memory of this, but for all I know it could have started me down the path of fear and anxiety, remaining somewhere in my subconscious.

 

[BooBoo99362]

I'm brand new, hi......(basically giving the Readers Digest abridged version here).......

One of my first memories was my Gramma taking me to the dentist, starting very young, we during our childhood, we spent every summer with both sets of grandparents and assorted aunts and uncles.... My Gramma's guy didn't believe in Novocain , and would slap my legs if I moved while he was drilling multiple visits over 3 or 4 years, I had bruising from him every time (I learned not to cry also), as a small child.

Fast forward to me at 16, bucking hay and needing a root canal, 95+ degrees, bucking bales from the break of day till sunset. On antibiotics and went in. They did not get me numb. I was doing an involuntary back crawl trying to get away from the drill (the pain is indescribable) He got up in my face, with his 3 Martini lunch breath and told me he would follow me right out the door with his drill in my mouth.

Fast forward many years later. I have had extensive work done over the years in 'pockets of time' when I found a dentist who wasn't a sadist and brushed my teeth like a fiend to avoid any Dentists (who I suspect could be nice people, the majority, you just can't tell who is safe, and who isn't)

My world had blown up, things (monsters) I had suppressed for decades were now running free in my head. I was diagnosed with CPTSD, Anxiety Disorder and DIDNOS, an alphabet of hot mess to be sure. My Body fell apart, and my Doc found I had NO 'good bugs' in my gut and I had heavy metal poisoning (at 48) Started what would be 4 years of Chelation. I knew it would be trouble, as much as i loathed going to the dentist, my old (mercury) fillings needed to be replaced.

Made the appointment, I knew enough to know I was a hot mess and was VERY clear with the staff, I was a hot mess and had trouble when it came to Dentists. They couldn't have been nicer on the phone. Went to the appointment, made sure the front desk knew I wanted a consultation only (as I had made VERY clear in the first phone call) That apparently was okay with the staff, but NOT the Doc. She took at least 20 minutes out of her day to chew me up one side and down the other because I wasn't fitting what she wanted in a patient. That was 2017, I never went back. I tank the staff and never returned. My teeth fell apart despite my efforts at home (it was bound to happen, Chelation is called Chemo light for a reason)

Last week I had the last of my destroyed teeth pulled and immediate dentures put in. I am a wreck of a woman right now...... (please pardon any typos, spellcheck is my bff, but I am Dyslexic and tend to just pick the top suggestion, I do try to proof read my posts)

 

[krlovesherkids777]

Booboo99362

First let me say, I am very sorry what you experienced as a child growing up with awful dentists.. sounds like it could have been the same one I went to. Never had Novocain anesthetic either and would drill tell me to shut up and i'm making up any pain . well thats the nice version. I feel what you went through. and sorry you had to. . Also with the dentist chewing you out.. after having a little hope due to the nice staff.. It doesnt' leave people with alot of hope at all.
Shame never helps anyone , or berating it just doesn't . agh.

Do not worry about typos here,, you are in good company , none of us are perfect typers and all of us have dental fear /anxiety. Maybe different types and different situations. But you are in the right place.

Its okay to be a mess for a while. you have had a lot of dental trauma despite your best efforts. It sounds like you tried all you could , but one really doesn't want to go back to a traumatic place.. I know I didn't.

Was your last dental office you went to last week any better or more graceful? How are you doing with the dentures? I"m sorry for your experience .. We are here to support you..

 

[BooBoo99362]

Booboo99362

First let me say, I am very sorry what you experienced as a child growing up with awful dentists.. sounds like it could have been the same one I went to. Never had Novocain anesthetic either and would drill tell me to shut up and i'm making up any pain . well thats the nice version. I feel what you went through. and sorry you had to. . Also with the dentist chewing you out.. after having a little hope due to the nice staff.. It doesnt' leave people with alot of hope at all.
Shame never helps anyone , or berating it just doesn't . agh.

Do not worry about typos here,, you are in good company , none of us are perfect typers and all of us have dental fear /anxiety. Maybe different types and different situations. But you are in the right place.

Its okay to be a mess for a while. you have had a lot of dental trauma despite your best efforts. It sounds like you tried all you could , but one really doesn't want to go back to a traumatic place.. I know I didn't.

Was your last dental office you went to last week any better or more graceful? How are you doing with the dentures? I"m sorry for your experience .. We are here to support you..

First, thank you, just that, thank you

I am sorry that you can relate, I wish (honestly) no one could, it is hard and awful.

The last 'Dentist' I saw was okay, he was careful to explain every move ahead of time (I had been CRYSTAL CLEAR about what was going on with me, though, he did look at me like I might be a bomb ready to go off ?) The staff was very nice. The Denturist is okay, i think. I am pretty dang good on 'getting a read' on someone, he is a little tougher to get that. he is 1st generation Nordic, and their culture, it's a hard 'read' for me. But so far, so good.

The dentures, Well, I am living on goat milk, food hurts, even mashed taters, scrambled eggs, and soup (!!! for Pete's sake!) the friction from them moving a little and them 'dislodging' when I try t 'chew' is really off putting (btw, I own dairy goats, and make goat cheese that I sell, so the milk is fresh and so good, not a drop of 'stinky icky' goaty milk from my girls) I know it will take more time to settle with them, it is just hard. With past trauma I didn't list in my 'Readers digest version', having a unyielding 'thing' pressing against my pallet sent me places in my head, I didn't want to ever go. didn't cross my mid it would be an issue, but here I am, and like everything else, I will have to plow through, and work through best I can. It is getting easier to sleep, it was hit and miss up until this week, got 5 hours in one chunk last night, and another hour or so later on, that is a good thing in my world, the dark of night is not my friend mostly.

Again, thank you for your kind words.

 

[weez1990]

1. A dentist I saw when I was about 7 or 8 who said I wouldn't have any teeth left by the time I was 16. I guess that was a load of baloney because I'm 30 now and I still have every.single.one.

2. Seeing my younger sister get a milk tooth pulled with no anaesthetic and crying in pain.

2. That damn Ren and Stimpy cartoon, specifically the episode about Ren's teeth. This cartoon is loathsome, vile, and disgusting filth even at the best of times (sorry, not a fan), but that one episode scarred for me life. I think it gave me a mild form of PTSD. If you have any kind of dental phobia, do NOT watch it. I saw it as a child, thinking it was a normal cartoon...boy was I wrong.

I feel sick even thinking about it.

 

[Kookiepbo]

What caused your fear or phobia? Vote in our poll (multiple choices allowed)! You can also post in this thread.

My reason for my fear is basically shame. Severe, paralyzing shame. I had severe depression for four years and frankly didn’t take care of myself at all and didn’t even notice but during that time my mouth and teeth deteriorated to a very very horrible point. Now it’s bad, multiple broken teeth infections and abscesses. I feel like I would rather die then let another human being look at my mouth. I’ve always been overly concerned with my image and what people thought of me. And after becoming disabled four years ago, and being forced to quit my teaching job the depression hit and it hit hard. Now that I’m medicated and coming out of that depression, I’m so ashamed of my mouth. I can’t let anybody look in my mouth and see/smell that- I cannot. And I do need to I just don’t know what I’m gonna do. Sorry that that’s where my fear came from. I’m ashamed it got to this point, I’m ashamed that I didn’t take care of it when I first kind of noticed things to years ago. I’m ashamed at my stupidity and my lack of motivation that led me to this place. I am ashamed and I can’t imagine someone else seeing this and judging me. It isn’t rational but it’s so strong I canceled like for dentist appointment so far.

 

[anxiousintexas]

I think my fear of the dentist began when I was a child; my mother told me the dentist would give me a shot and then the filling (my first) wouldn't hurt. It did. That set me up with the perception that the dentist's office is a scary place where everything is unpredictable and anything can happen. I am coming off of the worst dental experience of my life just yesterday (I'm in my late 60s so that's some time), so I don't want to elaborate any further. However, I do want to say that one thing that really angers me is when it hurts and the dentist says it's just a little bit of pressure. It is not. I am a big girl, and I know the difference between pain and pressure.

 

[NervousUSA]

In a way it started with orthodontics. Even though I had straight looking teeth and no problem with my teeth that a layperson could detect, no crooked teeth or crowding, my parents still believed orthodontics could make you better looking with healthier teeth, and was some kind of mild, benign beauty/health treatment. I had two years of painful, miserable braces and rubber bands, and ended up with no improvement a layperson could detect, but horrible receded gums on all my front teeth, cavities, and needing a bite adjustment with filing teeth. My parents thought we had been scammed because they thought I would look better but I didn't. They thought nothing had been done. That is how I got my fear of overtreatment/bad treatment and trust issues. I feel that the orthodontist should have just left me alone and said I didn't need braces. I have continued to have more problems with my teeth through my life that I suspect were caused by the orthodontics that stress and upset me and reinforce this fear.

Once I was just a little older, maybe 14 or 15, the dentist then started trying to refer me to an oral surgeon for a preventative removal of all my wisdom teeth (un-errupted) with sedation or anesthesia. I was horrified by this, largely because I massively fear sedatives and anesthetics. I refused to see a dentist any more after this point and my parents didn't try to force me. I fear sedatives and anesthetics because of an experience with being given one for stitches, I think it was versed, as a young kid, and having a paradoxical reaction, which made this strange painful nighmare memory that keeps popping up, that I can't get over, and doesn't fade, and is very painful when it crosses my mind. Then as a teenager I worked a job where I had to restrain animals at a pet clinic while they were anesthetized or euthanized, and I had to hold their arm for the injection, and hold and position their head and mouth for intubation. And I saw all the bad reactions to anesthesia and sedation, and all the death. When a dentist tries to tell me I should be sedated it makes me just go crazy, especially if they say the word "sleep" now, and I also freaked out when I saw a feature called "visualize airway" on an xray at the dentist recently because of stuff from my old job.

A weird additional part of this, the orthodontist, doctor with the versed, and the veterinarian I worked for were all men, and this has made me have a greater fear of male dentists than women.

 

[pea_can_pie_tin]

My childhood dentist was incredibly cruel and impatient with nervous/scared patients. He’d demand me to “cooperate” by which he meant, “stop crying and hyperventilating, you’re making it hard for me to do my job”. I told my mom I wanted to switch dentists after I had my first filling and he was, once again, a total jerk. I ended up with a really wonderful dentist by the time I was around 13. But the phobia remains. I have found ways to cope with the anxiety and fear, the gag reflex and sensory issues, blah blah blah…but I don’t know if I’ll ever “overcome” the fear. Every time I go I’m petrified.

 

[OpheliaRose]

I will never forget these two things- When I was very very young I had to get silver cap/ crown things on my four molar teeth (baby teeth) I have no idea why I needed four of those at that age- my mother was good about brining me to the dentist and brushing my teeth, but I had to be only about 4 or 5 at the time. I remember being brought into a dark room with like, a film projector so the dentist could "explain" this process to me. I remember sitting in the dark looking at what to me were scary slides on a projector that I didn't understand, and crying. I feel this was probably not necessary as no kid that age will understand something like that. Fast forward to the day of, I just remember being really young, screaming, the dentist kept calling me angel but the assistants were holding me down. It hurt and I remember this green rubbery stuff I had to bite on or something or that they kept shoving in my mouth. Why in the name of god didn't they put me to sleep or give me laughing gas or something I will never know.

Fast forward to being a young teen at another appointment and wisdom tooth removal and braces were suggested. Now, back when I was younger, braces were not cool at all and were a death sentence for being teased in school. I immediately refused to even discuss braces and had a panic attack in the office and told my mother I was never going to a dentist again. And by that age she couldn't really "force" me to anymore, not really. I may have gone one or two more times, however, not long after that I stopped going. My teeth were not "that crooked" and I got by ok. No one ever teased me about them and they never stopped me from being considered good looking at all ever (and still don't- it's mostly my bottom teeth that aren't straight anyway- my top fronts are fine)
however, over the years I have had back teeth get rotten or break, but never gave me any pain or problems, or problems chewing. Combine that with the fact that none of this is visible even with smiling, so I went on ignoring it for more than 20 years until I recently got an abscess in a lower left molar. Then it was time. There was no work around. I had to face the fear.

 

[Tigerlily]

I've always been fine with Dentists until I ended up with a constant, extreme toothache. My Dentist told me to see my GP as he couldn't prescribe anything and my GP said it's a dental problem, so the Dentist has to sort it. The ONLY medication that worked was Ibuprofen, but I wasn't allowed to take it on my medication. It went on for 8 days and got so bad I had to stop my medication keeping me safe, to taked Ibuprofen. Due to realising I can't get appropriate pain medication if needed and hearing dry sockets are even more painful, I am now absolutely terrified of getting a dry socket

 

[MagicDuck12]

You see, ive been a member of this forum for not very long. Im a huge dental phobic. I have to say, this forum at times doesnt add up.

When you read through what causes phobia, a lot of times itll be attributed to PAIN. Either pain as a child, pain from injections, pain from treatment, or pain after treatment.

But yet when people discuss their treatment, they will make out that they feel nothing. Theyve been magically "set free" from their phobia.

If youve been hurt before, being hurt IS a possibility. So your next visit to the dentist, every visit you ever make, its another opportunity to be hurt again.

Thats why my phobia will never go away. When the trust is lost, its lost. Its never coming back. Ive been hurt. Ive had sharp tools scraped all over my teeth. Ive bled everywhere. Ive had agonising injections. That doesnt go away, because the next time I go it could EASILY happen again.

Then you think about a "painless" experience. Well I can tell you a painless experience, its something like going to the theatre, doing a social activity, watching a film, and that painless experience doesnt include sharp needles and sharp tools. It doesnt include high pitched loud drills. it doesnt include disgusting compounds and gels. It doesnt include some nurse shoving a vacuum in your mouth. It doesnt include one side of your face being numb for hours.

So whilst one day at the dentist might not hurt in isolation, the environment of the dentist is AWFUL, it is about as stress inducing as you could possibly design. In fact the tools are designed probably the worst they could possibly be. Cant someone design a quiet drill for christs sake? cant someone find a way to GUARANTEE you wont be hurt by having a needle shoved in your gum? makes no sense at all to me.

The next thing i hate is, its like ive said in another thread. its a prison sentence. I have to go back. I dont want to go back. But every time i leave the dentist, I. Have. To. Go. Back.


There is never an escape. Theres no way out of it. Unless you plan on being irresponsible. You are consigned to going again, and again, and again, forever. This doesnt aid my phobia one bit because i cant just avoid it or turn it off like you can with say....heights. or spiders.

The other thing i absolutely cannot stand is dishonesty. Everyone making out theyre so big and brave. Lets put a camera on them covertly and see how gangster THEY are when the drill comes out, put a heart rate monitor on them. But instead of empathy a sizeable proportion of people AND dentists themselves will try and brush off your fears as trivial, and your pains as "pinches"...."scratches"...."mild discomforts".....its nauseating being disrespected like this.