What did I get myself into?

[turtlelove]

I don't know what to do. 7 months ago I was told I need 5 extractions. 1 wisdom, 1 failed root canal 3 molars that just keep chipping away. I have been too afraid to make the appointment with the oral surgon. This is the only thing I fear when it comes to the dentist. For the last 3 days one of the molars has been breaking more causing extreme panic attacks. I am at a loss and in tears. I can't make an appointment. Every penny is tied up in buying a house and if we make any wrong move we will not get the loan from the bank so for the next 40 days there is no way I can have this huge bill till we close on the house and move in. I also can't have these panic attacks I am a stay at home mom for 2 kids. a 1 year old and a 4 year old. who will not give me a moment to panic. How do I make it through this? My husband promised he will help me through surgery after and will make the appointment for the week after we move. I just need to get through till then.
My only worries about the surgery are all after... just pain. will i be able to take care of my kids right after? or in too much pain the following days? i will still have to deep clean the old place to. I just don't know what i should do.

 

[MountainMama]

I am so sorry you are in a situation that makes you have panic attacks. I understand how you feel. I have had four extractions in the past year, three molars and my front tooth. My front tooth was a big surgery as it was abscessed and had to be extracted and “scraped out”.
I can tell you that the pain after is nothing as bad as what you imagine. It is easily controlled with over the counter pain meds. I can’t take ibuprofen, so I was given Tramadol which is a really mild prescription pain pill. I have young kids, too, so I never took it during the day, only Tylenol, and only took the tramadol at night. Two days after my front tooth surgery, I was at my son’s basketball game.
You will feel better once they are out for sure!

 

[kitkat]

Speaking from my experience when I had 4 impacted wisdom teeth removed, the pain afterward really is not as bad as I had expected. I was prescribed Oxycodone (I do not recall the dose) and Ibuprofen 800mg. I had a bad reaction to the first dose of Oxycodone (extreme nausea/vomiting) so I couldn’t take it. I just stuck with Ibuprofen and it was sufficient for managing my pain. The first day or two is probably the toughest but the mouth heals pretty quickly and within a couple days, you will be surprised at how quickly you bounce back.

 

[Enarete]

Hi turtlelove,

just checking in, wondering how you are doing now few days after your post?
It sounds like there is a lot going on with you right now, not only the issue with your teeth but also all the stuff with your house, finances and surely everyday life with kids.. must be an immensely stressful time right now. I was wondering what you thought was causing the panic attacks - is it more that the tooth worrying you reminds you of the needed treatment and causes you stress or is it that you would like to go but can't due to finances? Having some clarity in this might make you more able to find out what might be the best way to cope with it.
I am glad your husband is ready to accompany you once the appointment comes.
Let us know your thoughts.

All the best wishes

 

[turtlelove]

? Both. I know I can't afford it. I just brushed my daughters teeth and knoticed some problems on several teeth. (my husband normally brushes her teeth) So that is now first on my list to take care of as soon as the dentists open again after this shut down. As long as my husband can keep working. If not well we are just out of luck. so much uncertainty right now. And as for my care. I have to be able to drive home i don't even know who will take care of the kids during my appointment. My husband would have to take off work. and we will have no child care if he was to come with me. ?

 

[turtlelove]

Anyone have any tips on getting through your own anxiety over taking your kid to the dentist? I do not want her to inherit my fear of the dentist. This will be her first visit. I just made her an appointment on the 23rd. I know she has a problem or 2 to tend to. My poor sweet girl. I feel like such a bad mom for not taking her in sooner. My last dentist said she didn't want her to come in till about 4. Now shes four with a bad looking cavity in the back of her mouth. ugh. I hope I caught it soon enough that it can be fixed.

 

[Freyja]

Anyone have any tips on getting through your own anxiety over taking your kid to the dentist? I do not want her to inherit my fear of the dentist. This will be her first visit. I just made her an appointment on the 23rd. I know she has a problem or 2 to tend to. My poor sweet girl. I feel like such a bad mom for not taking her in sooner. My last dentist said she didn't want her to come in till about 4. Now shes four with a bad looking cavity in the back of her mouth. ugh. I hope I caught it soon enough that it can be fixed.

Hi Turtlelove,

sorry to hear about your anxiety. Kids normally handle dentists better then adults most of the time it would seem. I am sure your lil girl will be fine. I think our own anxiety towards dentists just make us think the worst and feel it will be the same for our children but i bet she will surprise you with how brave she is and it will be over before you know it. Most dentists seem incredibly great when it comes to children.

As a child i remember getting a tooth pulled and it was like nothing to me and i remember going to school right after it.. As a adult, tooth extractions scare the life out of me even though just recently found out that the wait for the appointment is by far the worst part.

best of luck to you and your girl, i am sure it will all go well though

 

[kitkat]

Anyone have any tips on getting through your own anxiety over taking your kid to the dentist? I do not want her to inherit my fear of the dentist. This will be her first visit. I just made her an appointment on the 23rd. I know she has a problem or 2 to tend to. My poor sweet girl. I feel like such a bad mom for not taking her in sooner. My last dentist said she didn't want her to come in till about 4. Now shes four with a bad looking cavity in the back of her mouth. ugh. I hope I caught it soon enough that it can be fixed.

Hi turtlelove!
it’s great that you are mindful of not passing your fear to your Daughter. The key is ensuring that she has positive experiences and feels safe. Will you be taking her to your dentist or to a pediatric dentist? I don’t think pediatric dentists are always necessarily better so that Is just 1 factor to consider. In my personal opinion, kids do better with honesty...if you can, talk with her about what will happen (in a non-intimidating way). There are many child-friendly books and videos on YouTube now that prepare children for going to the dentist for the first time. As for the cavity, there is likely something that can be done to fix it and even if there isn’t, it’s only a baby tooth. When I was about 3 or 4 I had 4 baby teeth pulled with nitrous (baby bottle tooth decay) and even though I am dental phobic, I do not attribute it to that experience. I actually have very little memory of it and what I can recall was not traumatic.

 

[MountainMama]

I had awful experiences at the dentist as a child, having to have baby teeth extracted because my permanent teeth were not coming in correctly, and my dentist was not sympathetic.
Up until last year, my kids have never had dental issues. My daughter is going to take after me, though, with overcrowding. She had to have two baby teeth pulled and get braces to switch around the two permanent teeth under them. I was a MESS and I had to take her. I made sure to hide my anxiety as much as possible and also had a treat for her afterwards (art supplies). She did great! She hated the shots, but who doesn’t? She had to have two more teeth out in December and she was only nervous for the shots. The extraction didn’t even bother her.
I think the most important thing is that the dentist and hygienist are compassionate. That makes all the difference!

 

[Enarete]

There is a fantastic resource for helping parents support their children during dental visits. It is a whole program with an online course and worksheets and explains what to do (and not to do). You can find it here.

They have a course for parents of children from 0 to 8 years and also for parents of teenagers. You have to sign up for that but it's free. I can't recommend it highly enough.

My experience is that it is always better if there is someone not afraid of the dentist to take the kids but I appreciate that this is not possible for the most parents. In that case simply looking up some information (such as the course I mentioned) and doing your best will help you both to get through it.

 

[turtlelove]

I can't thank you enough for all the replies! I will check out that course. You guys have made me feel so much better. Thank you!

 

[krlovesherkids777]

Turtlelove,

I sooo get your anxiety over this .. I was really anxious to take both my kids. What I would highly suggest first off is to make sure to go back with them to the treatment and not settle on waiting in the waiting room if you don't really know or trust them , that way you can be certain of what is going on. Know that you have complete control and authority over what goes on and what you decide they can do.. I know my current dentist is awesome with kids and watching him with him makes me trust him more... plus..he has a waterlaser for fillings that doesn't hurt at all and my son thinks its "cool" and sounds like video games in his mouth He actually asks when he gets to go to the dentist again . I hope you find someone good and kind.. always remember they should be !