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What does it take to trust a dentist?

  • Thread starter krlovesherkids777
  • Start date
I also often bring treats and other small gifts to my appointments. Earlier this year, I just stopped in to drop off cookies I had made no appointment, just cookies - that was a first. I also think I must be quite a challenging patient, so I like to do something to try to make up for that. Lol!


I have been planning on contributing to this lovely and interesting discussion for some time, but just have to reply to this in between... Courageous you, FearfulInMA! May I ask you how long have you been a patient in your practice to get to a stage of just dropping them sweets? I would love to do this one day but somehow expect them to call the police and me getting arrested for stalking or something like that!!!

Btw. The worst thing that ever happened to me was this: I ordered cupcakes for my practice, they looked like a bouquet of roses and were packed in a special way, the name of the package was ‚romantic roses‘ or something like that. I did that online and changed few emails with the cupcake place to make sure they wold deliver anonymously. The online form was a bit confusing so I shot them another email after placing the order to make sure there won‘t be my name anywhere on it and they confirmed. All was well, the delivery worked out, it was a Friday.. and then I almost got a heart attack as I got a thank you email from my dentist on Monday, saying thank you for the cup cakes!!! An email to the company revealed they had forgotten a card on it. Luckily it was just my name and not the name of the product package, otherwise I would probably have to look for a new practice :oops:
 
Enarete - I agree, I would have been mortified!

To answer your question, I’ve been a patient at the same practice, with the same dentist (it’s a very small practice) for more than 11 years now. I was definitely nervous to bring the cookies, but also had to drop off a gift for the hygienist who was going out on leave to have her 2nd baby (I knitted a baby sweater & hat) - so it had to be done. Lol! I had brought treats with me to appts before, but had never made a special trip. My dentist has always said I should just ‘stop by’ to say hello, but... um no. He was very happy to get the cookies and, when I went to say goodbye after giving them to him, he was confused because I didn’t have an appt. He said those are his favorite kind of visits - just cookies. Lol!

I’ve wanted to stop by again this summer with some cookies because they hygienist is leaving the practice to move to another state (I’m sooo bummed!), but the timing has been tough with work and the dental office schedule. So we’ll see if this actually happens.
 
So, when I did this post I was thinking about my current dentist, who is a friend of my previous and he passed me to , as he was going to a different type of dentistry, so it really was a win win and my new dentist got my trust in all the ways above , but then was thinking how my Hero /Angel dentist earned my trust, the one who really helped me lift off, in the fight against dental fear

When I first met him I came in on emergency, I had crown come off, and had bad experience with the dentist who just did my last implant the month before so couldn't go back to him.

My new dentist came and shook my hand, gave me eye contact and a very friendly hello. he took a look and said he could cement the crown back on and save it..
-He gave me local wanting me to be the most comfortable which I appreciated,, however, I was frightened of new docs with shots.. He very calmly and nicely led me through the local process, slowly and it didn't hurt at ALL.. so.. win there..
-the first time I told him I was worried about him dropping stuff down my throat and he said "me too".. lol it was the way he said it with humor that really made me like him, and even trust him a bit more
-I asked him if he'd be willing to finish my implant and he watned to make sure he understood why and then agreed!
-He had the kindest manner that was really easy to talk to , he put me to ease immediately
-he talked about how he helped his mom who was a nervous patient and identified with me

Over time going through each implant process, and appt, and then 3 crowns, and alveoplasty I tested him with my fears and anxities.

anytime I did the slightest facial expression or movement that said "anxiety" he would stop or ask me, Kelly, are you ok? whats going on?

i decided . ok I think this guy is safe i'm going to put all my fears out there so one by one I did and one by one he really aced the test so to say

I told him how I was afraid of being the worst patient, he reassured me I wasn't
I told him I was afraid I had the worst teeth, he encouraged me I had a great smile and he would help me
I told him I was afraid he would switch me to another dentist , he said that wouldn't happen with him (previous dentist was in multiple dentist practice and played the switcheroo game alot and would end up with scary dentists who I didn't know so did NOT want that to happen again, that also to me meant rejection like they didn't want me as a patient so they switched me, even though it was probably for efficiency /clinical reasons, at the previous place they just did it no asking, which was not good for dental anxiety at all). anyways, while he was there he didn't switch me ever.
He made sure he answered all my questions, asked several times
one time I had a surgery and he was talking to me asking questions and i was bleeding just a little, he said I wanted to wait until after so i could hear your concerns and questions without a wad of gauze in your mouth :). so I appreciated that.
He was a master of distraction and I trusted that. he kept me laughing and distracted while going through some of the procedures to lessen my anxiety
He listened to me.. I always knew he took every concern of mine to utmost consideration and I gained confidence I could ask him anything.
Through time I saw his work was amazing so I really trusted his work and his recommendations 100%
Another sign is all the assistants and office staff seemed to love him and get along with him so well, they all raved about him and he worked in sync with the assistants so well.

I was sooo bummed to see him leave my current practice and do different type of dentistry. but he did a nice pass off to another great dentist who has earned my trust as well, in different ways. they really have 2 different personalities and styles but both had ways of earning trust. I feel like I had to give them a tiny seed of trust in order for that to grow.. and it was worth it. just wanted to share of my first dentist trust story . since I can never forget him :)
 
I only had one appt., but a huge amount of trust was earned when I asked if a huge filling that cracked a molar needed a crown and he’s like “I’ll think it should be fine with a filling.” He refused a more expensive procedure. I feel like other places would have done a root canal off the bat because it was so deep and then, put a crown on. He was honest that RCT may be something in the distant future but didn’t force it now.
 
@krlovesherkids777 reading your post takes me back to my first appointment (when I had actual work done and was a freaked out mess). I was having a filling placed and my dentist asked if I had ever had fillings before (all of my previous fillings were in baby teeth that had fallen out and been replaced by adult teeth already). I think she was trying to gauge how much information I needed from her and what my attitude was towards the procedure because I was not forthcoming about how I felt. I told her that I had fillings when I was much younger but that I didn’t remember them (which is true I really don’t remember much about them). Her response was “well that must have been a positive experience? Because as kids, we remember everything, right?”. I didn’t really say anything after that but my first thought was “oh good! she cares about positive experiences so she probably won’t traumatize me!” Lol
 
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