• Dental Phobia Support

    Welcome! This is an online support group for anyone who is has a severe fear of the dentist or dental treatment. Please note that this is NOT a general dental problems or health anxiety forum! You can find a list of them here.

    Register now to access all the features of the forum.

What unseen horrors could be lurking in my mouth?

M

MichQ

Junior member
Joined
Sep 30, 2020
Messages
3
Location
Santa Fe, NM, USA
Hi, this is my first post on here but I’ve been reading lots of posts in the forums for several days now, trying to ease my anxious, obsessive thoughts. My thoughts and worries about my teeth are so obsessive and constant I feel I’m going mad. I feel very shy about posting but maybe it will help. You all seem like really kind, lovely people.

Sorry, this is going to be a bit long…

Here’s my background: I’m 34 (F) and until a couple of days ago, I hadn’t been to a dentist since I was a teen. I’m an anxious, avoidant type person but I’ve also struggled with money and mental health for all of my adult life so I always avoided the dentist. I wasn’t the greatest at keeping up with brushing in my younger years, especially during my rougher periods of depression. I’d miss days quite often. I also never became disciplined enough to floss. However, in the last five years or so I got a bit better about it and started brushing every day at least once a day. Still not the perfect track record, I know, but an improvement from before at least.

I don’t remember for sure if I ever had tooth aches when I was younger— I don’t think I did, but maybe I’ve forgotten. But a couple of years ago I started experiencing a bad toothache in one of my molars. Having no money or insurance combined with being afraid to go to the dentist because it had been so long, I just tried my best to deal with the pain until it eventually went away on its own and I mostly just forgot about it. Then more recently a different molar began to hurt and I again ignored it until the pain went away. For years I’ve had a strong fear of losing teeth. I’ve had nightmares about my teeth falling out. I’ve always worried about what could be going on inside my mouth since I’ve never had a dentist to look and let me know. I figured if I ever worked up the will-power and courage to go, it’d be a lot of dental work and money and I couldn’t face it. But then, about a week ago while eating a sandwich, a molar broke. It was the one that had been painful a couple years ago. Half of it broke off right at the gum line. It didn't hurt (and still doesn't), but looking at it in the mirror, it looked pretty gross, and I cried quite a bit. It felt like a worst fear coming true. Like a nightmare somehow becoming reality. But I guess this is what I needed to push me to make an appointment, and the next morning I did. I couldn’t be seen for a week, though, so the week of waiting was pretty awful. A whole lot of crying and not eating and staying in bed. There was a lot of Googling, too, and by the time the appointment came I was pretty sure I’d probably be losing the tooth. I spent the week trying my best to come to terms with this, to prepare myself for hearing it from the dentist’s mouth. However, when I finally did hear it from the dentist’s mouth, it still shocked me quite a bit.

I left the dentist office feeling a little traumatized. The dentist seemed nice, but also very rushed and he quickly threw a lot of information at me that I had a hard time processing. He looked quickly at the X-rays and at the broken tooth as well as the other tooth that I mentioned had been hurting, and then said that he couldn’t save the broken one but he could save the other one with a root canal and crown if I wanted to. I said yes, please save the other one. He asked if I had questions and my mind went blank, because I was overwhelmed, so I just said no. He didn't look at any of my other teeth, just addressed the two with problems, but did say that he'd like to do a full exam at some point. I was referred to a specialist to get the root canal which will be happening in a couple of weeks. The extraction will be in about a month.

With the help of these forums, I’ve made peace now with losing my tooth and I’m mostly okay with it. I may get an implant but I’m still trying to decide on that. I also don't have much fear about the root canal. I’m actually just mostly eager to get the two problem teeth dealt with. What I’m feeling a lot of anxiety and worry about is the rest of my teeth. The unknown. What other work will I need? Ever since my tooth broke, I’ve been diligently brushing morning and night and flossing every night. I obsess over my teeth now. I look at them with a mirror multiple times a day. I poke and prod at them. Are any loose? Are those little specks cavities? Are my gums normal? When I look at my teeth, nothing stands out (aside from the two that I’ve talked about, of course). They look okay to me. None of them hurt or feel sensitive or anything. I know that, at best, I’ll probably have plenty of fillings and I think I can handle that. But I don’t think I can handle losing any more teeth. I guess what I’m wondering is if there’s a possibility of more teeth needing extraction even though they seem and look fine? Is it very obvious when a tooth needs an extraction or a root canal or is it possible I’ll be blindsided when he finally gives me a full exam? I’m so scared of him telling me I’ll need to have more pulled or need to have more root canals or that I have horrible gum disease or all of the above! Is it possible at all to be aware of these things beforehand or am I stuck with these endless anxious thoughts about the unknown?

This will sound random but this reminds me of the time I had a car stolen. I eventually got another car but for years afterwards, I’d walk out of my home expecting the car to not be there. My heart would skip a beat and then I’d see it still there and relax. Now that I’m losing a tooth, I expect to lose more.

If anyone can ease my mind about this, I would be so very grateful.
 
Last edited:
Hi MichQ:welcome:,

thank you for sharing your story with us, I am glad we could convince you about this forum being a safe space where you can share whatever bothers you about dental anxiety.

Reading about what made you (or better to say forced you) to see a dentist, I see how scary and unfortunate it was on one hand and on the other hand this is what often happens: a problem that bothers us more than the actual fear so that we finally have to go. You have been very brave and courageous for facing this! I wished your dentist would take a bit more time for you, after all this is your first experience after a long time and having a kind supportive hand makes things a lot of easier. Sometimes it even can make a difference between getting back on track with dental care, and never going back again.

What I would like you to know first is, that it is very common to go blank and not being able to voice questions or just not to be able to grasp what is being told. You were so stressed and out of control with your anxiety and what anxiety does is turning off our brains - after all, if there is danger, you shall run and not think. When it comes to dentist, this can rather get in the way.

I was wondering how you feel about the idea of seeing an endodontist for the root canal treatment and getting it in two weeks? Were you treated nicely in the office? Many people who start tackling their dental fear are most comfortable with small steps and taking things easy. Having a dentist who listens to you and can help you out with your anxiety would be the first step. Getting an exam usually the second. I am not sure how urgent the situation with the tooth is, but maybe taking things at your own pace may help you to get out of the panic mode a bit. Most people are afraid of needing more treatment than they actually do, but again it is more about the team work with your dentist and having the trust and confidence in dealing with it. Those things need to be build up.

If you feel that having some input before an exam may help and feel comfortable posting a picture, you may consider using our Ask a dentist section.

All the best wishes and keep us posted! :grouphug:
 
Back
Top