D
DMSPeanut
Junior member
- Joined
- Mar 4, 2016
- Messages
- 5
I'm so strange when it comes to determining what my triggers are and it is all mixed up.
First it was money, fresh out on my own in college, no credit, no parents to help me, barely making ends meet, i just didn't have the money to take care of problems.
When the small problems started to come on from lack of dental care in college I had several different situations happen over those years that did major damage to me in the way of i felt like my mouth was disgusting, and it was cruel for me to even ask a hygienist and a dentist to do work inside of my mouth. I felt mortified every time anyone tries to look in my mouth, dentist, doctor, nurse, etc. I felt like my mouth was going to make them sick.
Then its back to the money.....by the time i did all of this damage from negligence, I had a quote of $10,000 to fix my mouth....and when you have anxiety its hard enough to get in the first time, going for second opinions are nearly impossible.
Then over the years due to my avoidance somehow it twisted into a fear of anesthesia, and claustrophobia of having people in my face so close.. Strangely the tools and smells bother me the least, I'm not scared of shots, but i would never allow them to use gas on me, i couldn't handle the mask with them in my face.
And then lastly, i think, i have a major fear of small problems turning into big problems while they are working on it. I had two cavities filled yesterday and i was terrified they would get in there to fill them and they would turn into root canals, thankfully they did not and it was all good.
I went from not even being able to call the dentist to make my children's appointments without sobbing to yesterday actually walking into the dentist and had two cavities filled with only minor emotion. I still had the shakes, and almost shed a tear but i was able to smile and joke around with them and not feel ashamed. All of my fears are completely irrational, and i absolutely know that, i can see myself being completely ridiculous, but I can't turn it off. The dentist I'm working with is making me come in for very small increments at a time twice a month, refusing to do any long sessions. He said my best therapy is walking in the door twice a month. He is afraid if he fixes me all at once then he wont see me again for another twenty years because it wont address my phobia, and I'm pretty sure he's right!
First it was money, fresh out on my own in college, no credit, no parents to help me, barely making ends meet, i just didn't have the money to take care of problems.
When the small problems started to come on from lack of dental care in college I had several different situations happen over those years that did major damage to me in the way of i felt like my mouth was disgusting, and it was cruel for me to even ask a hygienist and a dentist to do work inside of my mouth. I felt mortified every time anyone tries to look in my mouth, dentist, doctor, nurse, etc. I felt like my mouth was going to make them sick.
Then its back to the money.....by the time i did all of this damage from negligence, I had a quote of $10,000 to fix my mouth....and when you have anxiety its hard enough to get in the first time, going for second opinions are nearly impossible.
Then over the years due to my avoidance somehow it twisted into a fear of anesthesia, and claustrophobia of having people in my face so close.. Strangely the tools and smells bother me the least, I'm not scared of shots, but i would never allow them to use gas on me, i couldn't handle the mask with them in my face.
And then lastly, i think, i have a major fear of small problems turning into big problems while they are working on it. I had two cavities filled yesterday and i was terrified they would get in there to fill them and they would turn into root canals, thankfully they did not and it was all good.
I went from not even being able to call the dentist to make my children's appointments without sobbing to yesterday actually walking into the dentist and had two cavities filled with only minor emotion. I still had the shakes, and almost shed a tear but i was able to smile and joke around with them and not feel ashamed. All of my fears are completely irrational, and i absolutely know that, i can see myself being completely ridiculous, but I can't turn it off. The dentist I'm working with is making me come in for very small increments at a time twice a month, refusing to do any long sessions. He said my best therapy is walking in the door twice a month. He is afraid if he fixes me all at once then he wont see me again for another twenty years because it wont address my phobia, and I'm pretty sure he's right!