Why did my dentist make me feel so bad?

[jlh292]

Today I went in for a 6 month check up like I always do. I hate going and always wince through the cleanings, but I do it anyway. It was my 3rd time visiting this office after having 4 dentists in 4 years, and I finally found a dentist I liked! Well she added a male dentist to her practice and that's who I saw today. He told me I had 5 cavities, three big and two small, and that it was clearly from drinking too much pop (I drink it maybe once a week). He said I need to be careful because my teeth are my responsibility and he won't always be able to fix my mistake. He said he needed to fill them ASAP if I want to keep my teeth. I left the office feeling horrible about myself. I went home and cried for a good hour. I haven't had a cavity since I had my baby teeth, so that's over 25 years! And now I have 5...so I felt bad enough without hearing the guilt trip! I brush twice a day and floss at least 5 times a week, and yet I have cavities...shouldn't my dentist have been a little nicer?!

 

[kittykat]

Try getting a second opinion. That sounds fishy. Or ask to see X-rays

 

[brit]

You haven't found a dentist you like since she has palmed you off on a judgemental associate who is likely overdiagnosing. Find a new practice would be my advice. You probably don't need any fillings and if you do need a couple, you want them done by an experienced kindly practitioner not a lecturing idiot like you just saw. I suspect you are in the USA no? They seem to like to lecture there more for fear of being sued maybe?

 

[De8934]

Hi jlh292,

OMG, reading your posting it just made me want to shout NO, don't let him do anything. Something doesn't sound right here friend, please get another opinion. How can you go from no filings to needing 5, WHAT!
and how dare that dentist speak to you like that. Like Brit says, do you want a dentist like that even touching your teeth.

 

[carole]

I agree with the others on here, don't let that man touch your teeth. Find another dentist or ask to see the one you usually see. I cannot see how the hell you develop 5 decaying teeth that need urgent teeth in 6 months. If you have then the last dentist you saw needs to answer some questions. Decay doesn't move that quickly that needs urgent treatment, it happens over a lot more months.

I also think if you have never had fillings etc... you obviously look after your teeth very well. If he won't always be able to correct your mistakes as he says, what the heck is he there for. THAT IS HIS JOB.

I would bet that you don't need anything doing at all.

 

[De8934]

"correct your mistakes" that dentist certainly doesn't believe in building a good dentist-patient relationship with you, he's just making you feel guilty. and as carole says that's his job. dentists and doctors get tooth decay too you know. no ones perfect.

 

[jlh292]

Thanks everyone...I decided to take your advice and get a second opinion. When I called the office, they said they could have the other dentist look at the X-rays, but that I wouldn't need to come in for a consult. Then they told me she's booked through the end of the year and I'd still have to have the other dentist fill my cavities. I promptly called a new office and asked to schedule a consult, which they were happy to do. I have had my X-rays sent over and my appointment is Thursday--hopefully no tears this time! Thanks again...I hope to have better luck in the future. Just adding another awful dentist experience to my list now...*sigh*

 

[Yourbigpalal83]

See its that kind of chair side manner that disgusts me and does absolutely nothing but harm the entire dental profession. ANY doctor in any field, weather it be a dentist, general, specialists, etc..THERE JOB IS TO HEAL AND CARE FOR THE SICK AND INJURED.NOT JUDGE!

I'll never, ever forget the one dentist that cause more trauma and anixtity to me then any other..i won't say his name, as he's long retired, but back when i was in my teens, i totally neglected my teeth. I mean i would go years without brushing, never flossed well until my 20's, chewed on ice, ate so much junk food (i used to weigh over 500 pounds just over 2 years ago it was that bad), etc.

I had 2 broken molars that were like that for years, obviously due to decay and neglect and one of them started to hurt badly. So this is right around the end of 2002, I'm a year out of high school, suffering depression, etc...and the one broken molar starts to hurt.

I go see this dentist, who was my fathers dentists (which should have raised a red flag for me being how my father has maby 2-5 teeth left in his entire mouth, no dentures, I've never seen him use a toothbrush in my life...) and this man totally berated me.

He borderline said i deserved it cause of my neglect, and that i had several bad other teeth (i can't recall if he said bad or broken or even what he meant..hopefully cavities cause i got several filled later) and he said i should have the tooth extracted by a separate surgeon as there wasn't enough left to support a crown.

i went for the extraction shortly after, and i was terrified, and the surgeon was totally professional, kind and caring. He removed the one upper tooth like it was nothing, and while he was sowing me up, he said "we should get this bad molar on the opposite bottom side out too while we're here now, otherwise you'll just end up right back here sooner or later for it anyway" so i opted to do it, and it was painless...just some pressure. A week later at my evaluation for the surgeon he said i was quite a healer and did amazingly well for someone with my anxiety disorder.


Needlessly to say i never went back to my fathers dentist, nor any dentist for 5 years later when i had a wisdome tooth coming in and desided it was time to get everything sorted at another dentist. I got 5 fillings, and outside of some slight weird sensations, i can't recall any major pain what so ever, outside of my own anxiety.

If i went to a bad dentist with a bad attitude for a checkup, i made dam sure i never went back to him because how can you trust someone like that? Trust your own instincts! You know your own habits and what you eat. If something seems off coming from someone you just met, telling you your wrong somehow, that raises a red flag to me! Im glad your getting a 2nd option because even to someone as paranoid as me, getting 5 cavities in less then 6 months IS VERY SUSPICIOUS. I HAD SEVERAL cavities last YEARS before they needed attention! (and even then i didn't need a root canal on a single one) so for u to get 5 in 6 months, unless ur diet is pure sugar and candy every hour of every day without a toothbrush and floss in sight, is from my understanding, almost scientifically impossible!

 

[paying for the past!]

Once when I was living overseas and about to move back home, I went to one dentist who filled a large cavity and said I needed another small filling when I was back in my own country. So a month or so later I went to another dentist who told me I need 10 (10!!) fillings. I let her do one but decided to see a third dentist who said I was fine and didn't need any more work!

From then on, whenever anyone said i needed a cavity I asked them to show me the decay on an xray and explain it further. Its hard to find a dentist you can trust, and when I found one I've followed her to a different practice on the other side of town!

I'm sorry the dentist made you feel bad, some of them just aren't "people persons" I think and don't realise that different people need different approaches. I've had a lot of work done on my teeth through neglect when I was young and I think its great you floss five times a week, i could have avoided so much trouble if I had started that early.

I definitely recommend a second opinion

 

[brit]

jlh292
Especially if you are in USA, you need to avoid 'corporate dental chains' to avoid blatant overtreatment.

 

[carole]

Thanks everyone...I decided to take your advice and get a second opinion. When I called the office, they said they could have the other dentist look at the X-rays, but that I wouldn't need to come in for a consult. Then they told me she's booked through the end of the year and I'd still have to have the other dentist fill my cavities. I promptly called a new office and asked to schedule a consult, which they were happy to do. I have had my X-rays sent over and my appointment is Thursday--hopefully no tears this time! Thanks again...I hope to have better luck in the future. Just adding another awful dentist experience to my list now...*sigh*

I hope your appointment went well and with no tears

 

[tray43]

know excactly how you feel if you read my post i had same problem i cried all way home after he said he wouldnt do xray that my only option were dentures and he thought i was on drugs with my tooth decay i wassnt at all never in my life

 

[Kat2013]

What a rude dentist! Who cares what he thinks! I definitely recommend you look for a different dental practice. Try to go to one with the best reviews or recommended to you by friend or family. Good luck.

 

[Brebre]

Yes my dentist and nursing assistant did that as well makes me not want to go to dentist. Says you need to take care of teeth

 

[Enarete]

Yes my dentist and nursing assistant did that as well makes me not want to go to dentist. Says you need to take care of teeth

I wouldn't want to go either if my dental team was lecturing me. Hope you can find a supportive nice dental team soon!

 

[eileenv]

I wouldn't go back to that dental office. I had a similar situation. I went to a dental franchise (US) with a tooth infection. The dentist gave me a temporary antibiotic and told me not to come back because of my gum condition. When I said that I cannot afford periodontal treatments, I was rudely told to "move back home with family." I am 64 years old and no longer have family. I cried for days after.

 

[krlovesherkids777]

Eileenv,

I am so sorry to hear this.. The comments are really insensitive and would really bother me too.. just sad.. . Have you found a more compassionate clinic after that?