• Dental Phobia Support

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willow's journal

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willow

Junior member
Joined
Mar 27, 2006
Messages
11
I've been lurking here for a couple of weeks, but this is my first post.  Yesterday I had my first dental appointment.  Ever.  I'm 30 years old.  

When I was a child my parents never took me to the dentist, not even when I asked to be taken.  (Can you imagine a 9-year-old child asking to go to the dentist?)  By the time I was 13, three of my molars had crumbled to the gumline.  I also have an underbite which has caused some serious orthodontic issues.  As a result, I learned to smile with my mouth closed.  When I became an adult, I couldn't contemplate going to the dentist because of extreme embarrassment and shame over the state of my mouth.  Not a day has gone by since I was that 9-year-old that I haven't despaired over my teeth.  It's amazing how that feeling can rule one's life.

Over the past several years my husband has tried to talk to me about my teeth a few times, but I always shut down whenever he brought up the subject.  The man has beautiful teeth.  How could he possibly understand?  Besides, I haven't been in pain in many years.  It's easy to ignore the problem when the problem isn't physically hurting me!  Well, I've developed a sizable cavity on my top front incisor, and a couple of weeks ago he mentioned it to me.  (Little did he know about all the cavities in the back of my mouth!)  I panicked because I knew I couldn't ignore my mouth any longer.  That's when I found this forum.  

A week later my husband asked if I had made a dental appointment.  All I could say was that I was trying to work up the courage.  It was as if a light went on in his eyes.  He asked, "Are you afraid of the dentist?"  I finally told him everything—everything I'd never been able to tell to another soul.  Before that moment I never thought I'd be able to say the words "I've never been to a dentist" to anyone.  My husband was sooo understanding!  Instead of barraging me with questions as I had half-expected him to do, he just accepted everything I said and was completely nonjudgmental.  He told me the only thing that matters is getting my mouth sorted out.  The words "money is no object" even escaped his lips.  

My husband made an appointment for me to talk to his dentist.  I only had three days to mentally prepare for the ordeal, which was probably just as well.  What mortified me the most was the thought of opening my mouth for a complete stranger.  How could I do it?  Good grief, I can barely stand to look in there myself! At the same time, I knew I wanted to be able to do that at the first appointment.  

Well, yesterday was D-Day.  The dental assistant who collected me from the waiting room asked if I wanted to try to do x-rays first.  I decided to try it.  First she did the panoramic x-ray.  That was easy!  All I had to do was stand there.  Then she tried doing bitewings, but that's when my courage failed.  I would have to open my mouth, after all.  She was very nice and said bitewings weren't necessary yet and that it was great that I got through one x-ray.

She led my husband and me to the exam room where we had to wait about 15 minutes for the dentist to arrive.  The dental assistant made pleasant small talk during that time, which helped me control my nervousness.  It was clear that she really enjoys working there.  Finally the dentist arrived.  He said he understood I was nervous, and then he launched into a speech about how he and I would be partners in my dental care.  I suspect he gives this speech to all his new patients.  He didn't seem terribly empathetic, but he did emphasize that he would be working for me and that things could move at my pace.  

After the speech he asked if he could look in my mouth and count my teeth.  Ha!  That's when I almost broke down.  But my husband held my hand, I took a few deep breaths, and I laid back in the chair.  Listening to him rattle off all the information about my teeth was a little unnerving, but also sort of interesting.  Apparently I'm missing (congenitally) my top lateral incisors!  Who knew?

When he finished the count, he showed me my x-ray and talked about what needed to be done.  He said I needed "a few" (i.e., many) fillings, the root tips of my old decayed molars "popped out," and probably one wisdom tooth extracted.  I couldn't believe it!  That was all?  I was completely prepared for talk of root canals and crowns.  Still, he might have been trying not to scare me.  He assured me that he has many patients who need more work than I do, and the dental assistant even said she'd had more work done than I need.  The dentist's attitude gave me the sense that all of this was no big deal, and that helped ease my mind.

I have another appointment in two weeks for a cleaning and those dreaded bitewings.  Ugh, I'll have to open my mouth for another person: the hygienist.  But I feel much more confident now in my ability to get through it.  At that appointment the dentist will have a better idea of what needs to be done, and we'll be able to prioritize the procedures.  Thankfully, I'm not needle-phobic like my husband is, and the prospect of fillings and extractions doesn't scare me that much.  Not that I'm looking forward to them, mind you!  In an odd way, I'm morbidly curious about the procedures.

I know I've got a long road ahead of me.  Once I get all the general dental problems taken care of, I'll need to go for orthodontic treatment.  Strangely, I'm actually excited about the prospect of wearing braces.  Just call me Metal Mouth.

Anyway, I'd like to thank everyone who has posted about their experiences on this forum.  I don't know if I ever would have been able to walk through the door of the dentist's office if I hadn't read all your inspiring stories.  It's such a comfort to know I'm not alone.  
 
My second dentist visit was not so bad!  Of course I was extremely nervous for several days beforehand, but it was another case of the anticipation being worse than the actual experience.

This visit was for bitewing x-rays and a cleaning.  My husband accompanied me for moral support.  Oddly, my nervousness all but disappeared as we sat in the waiting room.  The hygienist did the x-rays first, and they were a piece of cake.  I had half-expected to gag on them (per my husband's description of the experience), but I really didn't find them very uncomfortable.  Plus, the whole ordeal was over in under a minute.

Once in the exam room, I sat in the chair and waited for the hygienist to finish prepping for my cleaning.  I felt strangely calm; the only thought I had was, "This is going to happen, and it's going to be fine."  The hygienist was extremely kind.  I had told her beforehand that this was my first cleaning, and she was amazingly understanding.  I have a fair amount of visible tooth decay, but she didn't seem shocked at all.  She mentioned that I was doing a good job of cleaning my teeth, and she could tell that I floss regularly.  So I have good gums, but cavity-prone teeth!  ;)  I was grateful that she chose to focus on the positive rather than the negative.

I won't claim that the cleaning itself was particularly pleasant, but it wasn't painful, either.  The scraping was the worst part, but the hygienist was as gentle as she could be.  :o  She kept checking in with me to make sure I was okay, and she made it clear that she would stop at any time if I felt too uncomfortable.  Thankfully I didn't have a lot of tartar buildup—just a bit in my upper right quadrant.  She pulled out the ultrasonic scaler to deal with the tea stains I had behind my lower front teeth.  That was much more comfortable than the hand scraper!  

After the cleaning the dentist came in, checked my x-rays, and did another visual exam of my mouth.  He wants to fill the cavities in my upper front teeth first, then handle the rest of my mouth one quadrant at a time.  Once all my fillings are done, he'll do my extractions.  I'm so looking forward to not having black spots in my mouth!

I was so calm during the cleaning that my husband jokingly complained that I didn't need him at all.  (Not true!)  However, I do think that I'll be able to go to my next appointment by myself.  We'll see if I still feel that way in a week…   :rolleyes:
 
Hi,
Reading your story made me almost cry because I feel like I could be your twin sister. I can relate to all of it. The fact that my husband has "Donny Osmond" straight teeth does NOT help one bit. He does NOT understand and for many years we've spoken about it twice! Today was the second day and I just snapped at him because he does not understand andhe doesnt understand what the big deal is. As he sees it he is my husband and this is not a big deal. I'm even afraid of telling him about my orthodontist experience of many many years ago and how that has molded me into a very self consious person I am today. I smile with my mouth closed in all the pictures.In fact I hate taking pictures altogether and he seems clueless as to why ! I am making a copy of your first post and I'm going to show it to him today. I think he will be in shock to know that I've always felt just like you.
I don't know how but I AM going to go through with this. I want that beautiful smile. I want to smile proudly with all my pretty teeth showing when mydaughter graduates highschool. If I get braces now I will have the braces off before mydaughter graduates highschool. I wish more people would understand. Today I decided to search on google for dental phobias and this is how I found this forum.
 
"Not a day has gone by since I was that 9-year-old that I haven't despaired over my teeth.  It's amazing how that feeling can rule one's life."

It really is amazing isn't it? I've felt like I'm falling apart & no one could possibly understand ... my family & my boyfriend tells me "you should be a model" and all that, but I feel so decayed and just disgusting ... It's like my teeth have tarnished everything i find beautiful in my life now ...  I don't know how anyone could understand that.

Just because they don't notice doesn't mean I don't ... i've just learned all my life to talk in a way where I open my mouth only enough to be heard & I don't smile with my teeth showing. It's so comforting though to know that there are some people who might remotely understand whats going on, it helps me feel I can do this.

Me ---> Aly's Journal
 
notme, I'm sending you my best wishes for your talk with your husband. I know how difficult it is! Honestly, I'm still amazed at how understanding my husband has been. Being able to talk to him about my teeth has made me feel as if a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. Initially I was afraid he'd be so disgusted that he wouldn't be able to even look at me--we phobics are really good at imagining he worst, aren't we? If anything, my husband has been even more affectionate toward me since I told him. Basically he said to me, "Let me do my job as your husband and help you get through this." I married the right man, and I suspect you did too. ;)

SC86, I know what you mean about the feelings of self-disgust. Really, society tells us that bad teeth = bad person (Austin Powers notwithstanding). All my life I've felt like everyone in the world has good teeth except me. Now of course I know that isn't true, although I still feel that way often. That said, my recent dentist visits have done wonders for my self-esteem, and I haven't even had any real work done yet! I can now imagine what my life will be like once I'm able to face the world with a wide smile. ;D
 
Well, I survived my first filling appointment!  "Survived" is probably not the best word to use since there really wasn't any hardship involved. This was a major milestone, though, since it was the first time I went to a dental appointment by myself.

The dental assistant took me right to the exam room when I arrived.  I was happy not to have to spend much time in the waiting room.  She put on my "bib," handed me the remote control for the television, and then left me alone.  The dentist was obviously running behind, because I just sat in the chair and watched TV for a full 30 minutes.  He very graciously apologized for the delay when he did finally arrive, so I wasn't upset.  (This is what I get for scheduling afternoon appointments.)  

The dentist got right down to business and numbed my gums in preparation for the injections.  I got two injections, one above each of my top front teeth.  They really didn't hurt.  The worst part is that some of the anesthetic leaked into my mouth, and oh boy, that's some nasty tasting stuff. :o  That done, the dentist left me for another 10 minutes so the anesthetic could take full effect.  I've never had a local anesthetic, so I spent that time marveling over how I couldn't feel my upper lip.  Even the tip of my nose felt numb.

Next came the drilling, which was the part I was most worried about.  My first thought was that the drill was a lot quieter than I was expecting.  Then I realized the drill didn't seem any worse than the cleaning implements they'd used on me two weeks before.  There was no odd smell and no pain at all.

The rest of the procedure seemed to go fairly quickly. I kept my eyes closed the whole time, though, so I can't describe exactly what the dentist did.  When he announced that he was finished, I was actually surprised.  He gave me a mirror so I could inspect his work (thumbs up!).  Then he said I'd done really well and that the rest of my fillings would be easier.  I could hardly believe my ears.  Easier?!  It gets easier than this?  But this was easy!  He seemed amused by my look of disbelief.

I go back next week for round two.
 
Woohoooh :jump: :jump: :jump:!!!

I'm thrilled you had such a good experience :party: - WELL DONE!
 
Just checking in.  I had my third round of fillings yesterday, and things are still going well.  One of the fillings was a little deeper than the dentist expected it to be, and he warned me there might be a little sensitivity for a few days.  So far so good, though.  I haven't even felt a twinge.

At my last appointment a couple of weeks ago, he had planned to fill two of my molars in my upper right quadrant.  Well, it turns out he only had to do one.  Apparently the soft spots on the other molar have remineralized, so he said a filling wasn't necessary for now.  The tooth just goes on the "watch list."  Wow, I actually felt like I'd accomplished something.  I guess the fluoride mouthwash is doing its job!    ;D

I'll admit, I still feel twinges of shame every time I have to open my mouth, but the feelings are manageable.  It's worse when there's a "new" (to me) dental assistant in the room.  At this point, though, I think all of the dental assistants in the office have seen me, so I'm hoping my embarrassment will continue to diminish.  Everyone in the office has been so kind to me.  There hasn't been a single negative comment, and the dentist always ends my visits by telling me how well I've done.  Those small words of encouragement really make a difference.
 
I had my first extractions yesterday.  Surprisingly, I was rather calm in the days leading up to this appointment.  I didn't realize how nervous I was until I was sitting in the chair waiting for the dentist.  My heart was pounding so loudly I was sure everyone could hear it.   :scared:

As it turns out, the procuedure was a piece of cake.  The dentist numbed me up the same way he does for fillings, except that he injected some extra anesthetic into my gums just before he started with the extractions.  He told me I would feel some pressure and that I should let him know if I felt any pain so he could stop immediately.  

Yes, I did feel some pressure, but it wasn't nearly as intense as I was expecting it to be.  I was shocked when he told me the first tooth was out.  It was so fast!  I had expected to somehow hear or feel it when it came out, but I didn't.  The second tooth didn't take any longer than the first.  Two teeth gone in less time than it takes to do a filling.   :)

I've been following my post-op instructions diligently.  The bleeding stopped pretty quickly, and since the teeth came out so easily, I've had no swelling.  Even more shocking, I've had absolutely no pain!  I have taken some ibuprofen as a preventive measure, though.

I go back in two weeks for one more extraction.  I'm almost looking forward to it!  These three teeth are the last remnants of a childhood of dental neglect, and I'm not sorry to see them go.  No more black holes in my mouth!  :jump:

Seven dental appointments (so far) in the last two months seems like a lot, but I'm actually glad the dentist and I decided to do a little at a time.  It's gotten me used to going to the dentist, and that's a good thing.  Yesterday the dental assistant said to me:  "I remember the first time you came in.  Look how far you've come.  You're a pro now!"  I have come a long way, and I know I still have a long way to go.  At least now I know I can do it.  

In the meantime, I'm enjoying my chocolate pudding.
 
And you deserve it!!!!!!! Well done!!! That was DEAD BRAVE x
 
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