wobbly teeth in children, help!!

[VickyCrawford]

My daughter is 6 and this 6th year has seen her start loosing teeth.

She is showing a unhealthy fear of her tooth falling out.
Its the bolod, she says

Her 1st tooth was a week long drama, with her refusing food or liquids refusing to swallow...slag dripppig down her chin...I could cry it was awful!!
that one came out with a milkshake....but it was a good 4 days on not eating or drinking!!!My husband and I had to take turns to have days off work because we cold not send her to school, in the state she was in.


Last tooth was wobbly,and ready to fall out, but it was not coming it.

One day it was back to front, a few days later it was still back to front but sideways!!!
Eventually it came out when she sneezed...no panic she was even proud.
phew...

now this

A wobbly tooth, at school I get a call from Teacher saying her finger was firmly holding this tooth in...she had not worked, talked, eaten or had a drink, because she refused to remove her finger from the tooth.

I got to school, to sobbing sobs, got her in the car, and firmly pulled the finger off the tooth, {as seatbelt could not go on otherwise}

she screamed like she had her hand cut off, wet her pants

{because ofcourse she had not been to the toilet either, doing that would have resulted in her removing the finger from the tooth, madness}

Now this tooth is firmly in its place and I dont know what to do??
do I get my husband and son to hold her down whle I pull it out?
I can image that would pretty much screw her for the rest of her life, so tempting that it is....
or
go through this ever time until she seezes again??OMG

I can imagine gum infections and all sorts with her pushing these teeth back into place???
Shall I take her to the Dentist..how do I find one that nderstands.
I know how they work, ou talk to some idiot woman on the reception and she says " yes ofcorse we see children"what receptionest is going to turn you away, send you elsewhere?
they are not...I'll end p seeing some awful mean dentist
{ yes I have a dentist phobia }
put she has never been to a dentist...

 

[finney]

First of all if she's 6 and has never been to a dentist, she NEEDS to go. NOW. I'm not trying to be harsh because lord knows I know about dental phobias as well as everyone else here does but this is your child's health you're talking about. If it's due to your phobia, have someone else take her. If it's financial, there are assistance programs for kids. She could suffer the rest of her life with dental problems if they aren't caught early, and what happens to baby teeth can and does affect adult teeth.

That said, first of all she's probably picking up on your phobia and thinks teeth and what happens with them are something to be afraid of. Kids are crazy smart and pick up on things, even if we don't tell them or talk about it around them.

Yes her fear is extreme, I remember my baby teeth coming out and I was scared every time, but not like that. Also, not eating or drinking for 4 days is a SERIOUS health issue, a young child like that will be severely dehydrated by the end of Day 1. I would talk to her regular doctor first and see if he can help. Though she needs to go to a dentist, that's a different issue from this...I think this needs some professional intervention. A child behavior psychologist might be able to help, if her regular doctor can't.

 

[VickyCrawford]

yup its mostly financial, but I know you're right and I will book her to see someone, I work 5 days a week and find it difficult to get to things like that, she has never had swimming lessons either and we live on the beach!

Not sure if she has picked up on my phobia as we go to dentist quite alot with older son...but still kids pick up on that stuff without you knowing.

Same with GP, $50 for 10 min of their time is just unaffordiable,and a complete rip off...anyway thats a whole other kettle of fish.

I've distanced myself a little because I can't belive the fuss, thinking it is going to pass...but I'm worried about the next time and I'm totally lost for words, I don't know what to say to her,
I just end up saying something so totally unsupportive like " dont be silly"
like thats going to help herI could kick myself.

Thanks for you're advice I really do appreciate it.

 

[brit]

I just end up saying something so totally unsupportive like " dont be silly"
like thats going to help herI could kick myself.

Don't beat yourself up too much! It depends on the child what response is appropriate. A positive explanation of why there is no need to act in this fashion because what is happening is supposed to happen and happens to everyone, would maybe be absolutely the right approach.

This is a new and unusual process for her - why shouldn't she a bit freaked out at least the first time?

A visit to a child-friendly dentist now between 'crises' would also be a good idea if you can enlist their help maybe in explaining and demystifying the whole process. Presumably the whole 'tooth fairy' concept was dreamt up because this tooth-losing stuff was somewhat traumatic for kids....? She has maybe been fed some negative stuff by kids at school on the subject and about dentists as well. Maybe just take her along with her brother for a nosey if she doesn't already come too.....if she hears he is 'going to the dentist' and doesn't really know what is involved it could be feeding her fears (whatever they are?).....of the unknown...say..'so I am hanging onto this darn tooth for as long as I can in case they take me where older brother goes'.

There's a whole tv series about tooth fairies aimed at kids her age..the name escapes me right now and a book in the Charlie and Lola series about Lola's wobbly tooth.

I have found eating crusty bread is great for getting them out by the way.
Good luck.