Words cannot describe the terror- UPDATED

[Myztri]

I cannot put into words the way I am feeling right now.
I guess I should introduce myself.  I am Myztri, you can call me Myz if youd like.  I am 23, and I have NEVER been to the dentist in my life.  Until about a year ago, I had no reason to. I have had straight, healthy teeth my whole life.  One would think I would not have a phobia, having never been, however I am TERRIFIED of all doctors, nurses, etc etc and have such a severe needle phobia that that last time I had to be on the bad end of one, the gave me a sedative first, and my fear overrode it.  It did NOTHING.  
I have been lurking here for a few days, since I realized I now have NO CHOICE but to go to a dentist.
For the past 6 months or so, my two upper wisdom teeth, despite being stright and comfotably in, along with a lowar molar and an uppar molar have decayed, crumbled and broken away.  Last week one began hurting so bad that it drove me to an old vicodin Rx to make it stop.  I have been living on that, ibuprofin, that toothache waxy gum stuff and soup ever since.  
I have a consult at 2:30 this afternoon (it is surrently 11:40) and I do not want to go.  To make matters much worse, I am going alone, beccause my husband feels that I should just suck it up and deal with it, and that he is not needed right now, since they aren't going to be doing anything major.
Well, it is major to me.  I am terrified and I am not even sure about my ability to get my self there.  I will imagine that I will sit in the parking lot for a while before actually going in.
Supposedly this is a good dentist, and that they are already sympathetic to my situation, although I wouldnt know because I had to get my mother to call and make the appointment for me.  I know, much like other doctors, that I can walk out if I am unhapy with their attitude, but I hate having to go to start with.  I am horribly scared and am mad beyond words at all of the situations I have been put in thoroughout my life that has given me this fear.  I am resentul towards my husband for not respecting me enough to take the hour away from work to go with me.  I am just....  

 

[letsconnect]

Re: Words cannot describe the terror

Hi Myz ,

you could always cancel the appointment and reschedule it for a time when you can bring someone along, e. g. a sympathetic friend or relative?

You didn't say where your medical phobia originated, but these fears can be overcome. A good book on the topic is "Overcoming Medical Phobias" by Martin Anthony and Mark Watling.

If you do decide to go, have a big hug !! You've been very courageous to take this step and it's encouraging to hear that they already know about your fear. Remember that you're going there just for a chat and you can always call it off if you don't feel comfortable.

Best wishes

 

[Myztri]

Re: Words cannot describe the terror

The only personal available to go is my husband, as my mother watches my 3 children. He is refusing to take off work until I am having major work done. It angers me.
I have seen counselors re: the medical phobia. I have taken medication, read books, gone to therapy... it doesnt seem to be budging.
I am only going today because I am out of vicodin and am in extreme pain and fear I am getting an abcess. Rational thinking makes me realize I MUST go or I might get very sick, but it doesn't make me any less terrified.

 

[Jack]

Re: Words cannot describe the terror

I'd call the dentist and have someone meet you in the parking lot with a seditive. If they refuse....change doctors.

This might help pick a method:

Is dental sedation right for me?

What sedation options are available for dental treatment? Which is the right one for me? Find out about oral, inhalation, and IV sedation.

www.dentalfearcentral.org

 

[letsconnect]

Re: Words cannot describe the terror

I hope you can work up the courage to go despite being terrified.

As far as I'm aware, the only treatment that has been proven to be effective in the long run for medical phobias is gradual exposure, which is described in the book I mentioned - although other methods can be effective as adjuncts. It might be that the exposure component was missing from the things you've tried so far. And of course it's very important to find the right therapist/doctor/dentist for you, someone who you get along with well.

It's likely that your husband doesn't grasp the depth of your fear (it's very difficult for someone without this phobia to understand what you're going through). But I understand how frustrating it must be!

All the best

 

[Myztri]

Re: Words cannot describe the terror

I'd call the dentist and have someone meet you in the parking lot with a seditive. If they refuse....change doctors.

This might help in picking a 'method'.

They are more than willing to do that the day of the actual work, but because I am going alone and I have to be able to communicate, that cannot happen today.



Edited to ad- IV sedation for a needle phobic is really not an option.

 

[Myztri]

Re: Words cannot describe the terror

My husband has been with me for 9 years, and has seen first hand the depth of my fear. He was there when I had our oldest child in the hospital, and saw how the sedative did not have an effect on my body while I was that scared. I then had our other two children at home with a midwife, to avoid that situation again.
I have indeed tried exposure, and it never works out well or gets far before I quit. I cant handle that much stress. I already have stress induced alopecia, so I lose a lot of hair when I stress out a lot, and then in turn, it grows back grey and its just a bad thing to be salt and pepper grey at 23.
SIGH.
Terrified... yup. I am going to go... or at least try to, because I cannot function with this pain.

 

[letsconnect]

Re: Words cannot describe the terror

Sorry to hear that you've tried so much without success . Maybe it's just not the right time to tackle something like this (I'd imagine that bringing up 3 kids must be pretty stressful).

Best of luck and let us know how it went

 

[Myztri]

Re: Words cannot describe the terror

I wish I could put this off longer, but i just do not think it is safe to do so. I've got 3 kids to take care of and if I go down... well the whole house goes down.
Thanks for letting me talk myself through this a little.

 

[Myztri]

Re: Words cannot describe the terror

Well, I went, and I will be finding a different dentist to do any work that I need.

I walked away with the goal, which was the antibiotics and the vicodin, but thats about it.
The assistants, she was fantastic. She calmed me down and was very sweet and gentle and really did wonders for me. I was so very hopeful. Then the dentist walked in and he was short and hurt me.. I told him one of my teeth was sensitive to the touch and he slammed the end of the little mirror into it intentioanlly. He was insistant upon the root canal, knowing I cannot afford it. It was awful. I wont be going back to him, but now I know what NOT to look for.

The office was corral style. There were cubicles in an open area, with divisions between them for equipment. You land in one spot with the assistant and he comes to you, but this means you see everything thats being done to everyone and everyone sees everything done to you. Sorry, not for me.

So tomorrow I get on the phone and try to find someone much better than that.

The first step has been taken however, and I am very proud of myself for making it through that.

 

[rcy]

I feel your fear, I just had all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed today and I was expecting the worse. They were very gentle, even covering me with a blanket cos I was shivering. They started the Nitrous Oxide and I just slipped off to sleep cos I had just taken 2 Halcions before leaving for the appointment, so it was a very good experience for me.

I hope you find a good doctor and overcome your fear, but unfortunately my fear of needles will remain with me 'till I die, as it has been there since I was a child.

Good, luck!

 

[letsconnect]

Congratulations - Great to hear you made it and had such a positive experience with the assistant ! Pity about the dentist and the layout of the place .

As you said, at least you now know what not to look for, and you also know what things should be like from your experience with the assistant .

Best of luck with finding someone suitable !!

 

[Myztri]

I hope you find a good doctor and overcome your fear, but unfortunately my fear of needles will remain with me 'till I die, as it has been there since I was a child.

Good, luck!

I will never overcome the needle phobia I have. I just do not think it is possible. Which is why I do not even want to go back. Were not for the needles... I would be much better.

 

[rcy]

I hear you on that. But I didn't even care he was doing since I was dosed up on two Halcions and the Nitrous. I saw the syringe in my mouth, and I asked, "Are you doing it?", and he said yes he was and that's all I remember before dozing off again. He did one last injection before finishing it and it felt like a sharp stick, but I didn't pay it any mind, like he was doing while I was half-awake. So if you do find a good Dentist ask about the Nitrous Oxide and oral sedation, cos it seriously helped me.

 

[Myztri]

I have found 4 dentists this evening online in my area that offer sedation dentistry and I am looking forward to calling one tomorrow. LOL. If i can actually say looking forward to calling a dentist!

 

[brit]

Well done      
Many people find the first place they go is not for them....doing a recce before making an appointment is one way of checking the layout/atmosphere first.....not aware of any UK dentists using that USA open plan thing....would not like it at all.


I agree with RCY that because of your needle phobia...you need to add 'nitrous' to the list of requirements....you may never overcome it but there are ways of dealing with it. You need never see a syringe.
Good luck - you will get there.

UPDATE - just saw your last post....good you've found some sedation dentists and its made you want to phone...gee that's progress!

 

[Nat]

Well done on going to your appointment, Sorry to hear that the first dentist wasnt so great. I totally understand where you coming from on that score!

I hope that you have some success on the sedation dentists