Worried about my mum - she has never been to dentist

S

Sharptooth

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Joined
Jan 2, 2014
Messages
4
Hello
Looking for some advice - my mum is 55 years old and I'm not sure if she has ever been to the dentist, I think she might have gone once as a child but was hysterical.
Her teeth look really bad from what I can see and I don't think she is brushing them anymore.
My family are very concerned about this but none of us feel that we can bring this up with her so really not sure what to do. Her health generally isn't very good, she is on strong pain relief for back pain, she doesn't sleep very well at night so sleeps a lot in the day and is very withdrawn.
Thanks
 
K

kittykat

Guest
it sounds like she might be depressed. maybe bring it up sometime that youre worried about how sad she's been lately
 
carole

carole

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Messages
7,814
Hi :butterfly::welcome: to the forum.

I am also 55 and as children people of our age often had work done without being numb and a lot of the dentists were not child friendly. Our parents thought they were doing the right thing by taking us to these butchers. Today as I am sure you are aware things are very different, the dentists listen to our fears and will take things easy starting with the smallest of jobs and only doing what we can cope with.

Gone are the days when we just sat there and took it, now we discuss our oral care and give informed consent to any work that is needed. A good dentist also makes us feel involved and in charge of what is done.

You could ask your mum if she ever gets tooth pain and this might start a conversation, you could ask her when she last visited a dentist and what it was like. You could also let her have a look on here too. We don't judge anyone, we offer comfort and support even if someone feels they cannot go to the dentist yet. They can come on here and rant and rave and have a right old moan. It might help her with her depression a bit too coming on here a bit, nobody knows who she is and she can say what she feels and maybe work up the courage to see a dentist with your help and support too.

She could just come here and have a read, people on here suffer all sorts of different things besides teeth problems and we can pm each other if we want to talk to someone privately.

If your mum isn't up to coming on here, you are very welcome to stay with us, do you attend a dentist regular or do you not feel able to go?

You don't have to answer that if you don't want to. I hope we will be of some help to you and your mum. Sometimes a symptom of depression is that people don't keep up their oral hygiene, it is as much a symptom as is feeling sad etc...

All the best to you both :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::butterfly:
 
Last edited:
S

Sharptooth

Junior member
Joined
Jan 2, 2014
Messages
4
Hi :butterfly::welcome: to the forum.

I am also 55 and as children people of our age often had work done without being numb and a lot of the dentists were not child friendly. Our parents thought they were doing the right thing by taking us to these butchers. Today as I am sure you are aware things are very different, the dentists listen to our fears and will take things easy starting with the smallest of jobs and only doing what we can cope with.

Gone are the days when we just sat there and took it, now we discuss our oral care and give informed consent to any work that is needed. A good dentist also makes us feel involved and in charge of what is done.

You could ask your mum if she ever gets tooth pain and this might start a conversation, you could ask her when she last visited a dentist and what it was like. You could also let her have a look on her too. We don't judge anyone, we offer comfort and support even if someone feels they cannot go to the dentist yet. They can come on here and rant and rave and have a right old moan. It might help her with her depression a bit too coming on here a bit, nobody knows who she is and she can say what she feels and maybe work up the courage to see a dentist with your help and support too.

She could just come here and have a read, people on here suffer all sorts of different things besides teeth problems and we can pm each other if we want to talk to someone privately.

If your mum isn't up to coming on here, you are very welcome to stay with us, do you attend a dentist regular or do you not feel able to go?

You don't have to answer that if you don't want to. I hope we will be of some help to you and your mum. Sometimes a symptom of depression is that people don't keep up their oral hygiene, it is as much a symptom as is feeling sad etc...

All the best to you both :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::butterfly:
thanks for the reply! Yes I do now go to the dentist regularly, although I hadn't gone from when I was a young girl until I was about 21 as the dentist I had as a child closed down and I was never re registered. I was also terrified of the thought of having to get a needle in my mouth - I knew I had to get fillings done and it took me a long time to pluck up the courage to go, I think once the horrible nerve pain kicked in I finally went.. And ended up losing 2 teeth.
I - along with the rest of my sisters are too scared to bring this matter up with my mum. It is something she never ever talks about, and I do remember her being in tears once when I was very young over someone mentioning the dentist to her. :( it's a really difficult situation.
 
carole

carole

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I can understand where both you and your mum are coming from on this. I am glad you have managed to be able to see a dentist. Good for you :jump::jump::jump:

Maybe you could leave your computer or whatever you use in sight of your mum when you are on here. It may take a while but her curiosity might get the better of her in time.

I don't know about you but sometimes we get a bit silly on here and have a right old laugh, anyone else in the room can't understand what is so amusing on a dental forum. I think until your mum is
ready to have the subject of dentists near here you will just have to be patient and continue to go yourself. You could casually mention that you have a wonderful dentist and what it is they do that puts your mind at ease. Maybe mention that you have discussions with them about treatment and it is a partnership between you and your dentist.

Someone might come on that can offer something else for you to try, but in the meantime I hope you stay and join in.

Time is a great healer and maybe she wouldn't get quite as upset now she and you are a bit older. As small children we don't understand the full story of why someone is upset about things. I have read on here that sometimes an important event like a wedding of one's children will often kick start a mother into action. I am not suggesting that you get married hoping that your mum might see a dentist, but if you had a word with your sisters :ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO: Sorry I couldn't resist that one.

There are people of your mums age and older that have never been and one day they start to think about it and with the right support and encouragement they manage to see a dentist and get the treatment they need. Does she listen to you when you have been to the dentist or don't you mention it.

All the best to you and your mum, I wish you luck :clover::clover::clover:
 
S

Sharptooth

Junior member
Joined
Jan 2, 2014
Messages
4
I can understand where both you and your mum are coming from on this. I am glad you have managed to be able to see a dentist. Good for you :jump::jump::jump:

Maybe you could leave your computer or whatever you use in sight of your mum when you are on here. It may take a while but her curiosity might get the better of her in time.

I don't know about you but sometimes we get a bit silly on here and have a right old laugh, anyone else in the room can't understand what is so amusing on a dental forum. I think until your mum is
ready to have the subject of dentists near here you will just have to be patient and continue to go yourself. You could casually mention that you have a wonderful dentist and what it is they do that puts your mind at ease. Maybe mention that you have discussions with them about treatment and it is a partnership between you and your dentist.

Someone might come on that can offer something else for you to try, but in the meantime I hope you stay and join in.

Time is a great healer and maybe she wouldn't get quite as upset now she and you are a bit older. As small children we don't understand the full story of why someone is upset about things. I have read on here that sometimes an important event like a wedding of one's children will often kick start a mother into action. I am not suggesting that you get married hoping that your mum might see a dentist, but if you had a word with your sisters :ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO: Sorry I couldn't resist that one.

There are people of your mums age and older that have never been and one day they start to think about it and with the right support and encouragement they manage to see a dentist and get the treatment they need. Does she listen to you when you have been to the dentist or don't you mention it.

All the best to you and your mum, I wish you luck :clover::clover::clover:

thanks for for the reply! I'm actually 30 and already married! So she has had mine, my sisters and my brothers wedding to attend & that didn't give her incentive! :( whenever anyone brings up the dentist around her she very quickly changes the subject.
 
Dr. Daniel

Dr. Daniel

Well-known member
Verified dentist
Joined
Nov 2, 2010
Messages
1,996
Hi,
Maybe you can your mother's family doctor to motivate her to treat the tooth. If the tooth is that bad it is only a source of trouble and infections. I an certain that once the tooth is treated, the quality of her sleep and her health will improve.
The family doctor can be very useful in motivating her facing the dental fear and even prescribe medications and/or write her a referring to the proper dental clinic.
 
S

Sharptooth

Junior member
Joined
Jan 2, 2014
Messages
4
Hi,
Maybe you can your mother's family doctor to motivate her to treat the tooth. If the tooth is that bad it is only a source of trouble and infections. I an certain that once the tooth is treated, the quality of her sleep and her health will improve.
The family doctor can be very useful in motivating her facing the dental fear and even prescribe medications and/or write her a referring to the proper dental clinic.

thank you - yes I have recently done that. She also visits a psychologist so hopefully they will pick something up. I don't think it is just one tooth she will be suffering with.. I'm sure there will be much more than one :(
 
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