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Worried about my teeth (trigger warning)

  • Thread starter Imapparentlyhere
  • Start date


Well-known member
Jul 26, 2022
I have really neglected my teeth for around 9 years due to depression from bullying. I have just turned 19 and have realised how bad my teeth are. All of my molars are decayed, 2 are decayed retained roots and one of which has a possible abscess. I have now noticed that my front teeth are decaying even though I have been taking care of my teeth recently. I have a phobia of dentists due to a traumatic experience when I was a toddler and I am unable to find any taking on NHS patients. I have honestly been thinking about suicide due to how bad my teeth are. Sorry to rant here but I really don't want to worry my parents. I honestly have no idea what to do anymore.
Have you used the NHs Find a Dentist page? It may narrow it down/make it easier to find a practice accepting ppl (if you're just ringing around). But I wouldn't be at all surprised if you can't find one, sadly.
Have you asked what their wait list is like, perhaps you could ask to be put on a couple and see where comes up first.

Usually ppls fears about the state of their teeth is different to what they actually get told during an assessment, so try not to worry too much.

Like you I already have decay and a filling on some front teeth so it's quite worrying, but aside from watching what I eat and drink & how well I brush/floss etc there's little I can do at this point, I try not to beat myself up.. the poor appearance and (moreover) pain is enough to deal with without the what-ifs on top.

Would you be able to go private until an NHS dentist takes you on? I've been forced down this route due to bad work, & work not carried out on the NHS (likely due to the points system)..
They have more time for me but it is very costly I can't lie.
Oh, and as a parent I would welcome any form of conversation, no matter how old my child gets - it's what I'm here for and I will always try and help, I wouldn't want my child worrying and carrying any form of a burden by themselves tbh. I appreciate everyone's parents are different but I don't think you have much to lose by telling them, just see what they say - they certainly wouldn't want you feeling this low I'm sure x
Thank you so much, unfortunately the only ones which say they're accepting patients have a 2 year waiting list. I am currently looking for a job so it's unlikely I'd be able to get private treatment until I find one.

Best of luck with your dental health too x
I really appreciate it although I don't want to trigger my parents due to their own mental health issues but I will try and have a chat with them. Thank you so much x
@Imapparentlyhere wow, ok. The last time I called (2-3 years ago) it was an 18 mo wait then, sad to read things have got worse. I think I'd just ask to be put on some lists, see what happens.. it's better than realising in a few months you're not on any and could have gotten the ball rolling today.

There are also payment plans in the private ones, if that makes it any easier? Like I say I appreciate it's very expensive though. It is extremely sad you can't access NHS care and I do feel for you, it's a state and I wonder when it will be fixed tbh.

All in all I'd say try not to worry (easier said than done I know), if you've been unable to see a dentist, what you think might be decay could just be something that could be resolved with a cleaning and you could be worrying for nothing.

Perhaps you could put a photo on the Ask a Dentist section and see what they think (obviously this doesn't replace a face to face assessment and they can only tell so much by a photo).

If you're struggling to tell your parents perhaps a friend you trust would be helpful.. I don't know how close your friendships are and perhaps this is too embarrassing.. Either way, there's always this forum and ppl going through similar things x
@Nicci Thank you so much, I will call up and ask to be on the waiting lists tomorrow and look into payment plans. I really appreciate all of your help. I'm glad to know that I'm not alone, thank you so much for the replies and all of your help x
I’m in a similar position, in regards to my teeth they’re so decayed both my front and all my back teeth . This group has shown me that people have simlair fears and change can happen … I looked at some of the pictures people posted and success stories . If you want support I’m happy to help you search online for dentists taking on nhs patients / mental health services locally xx
Thank you so much Emma, I hope all gets sorted for you too, this forum has been great xx
@Imapparentlyhere And @Emma Hoyle have you checked if the Community Dental Service in your area includes services for dental phobic patients? Some more info here:

Thank you, I have one inside my doctors but I've been told they're unable to refer and a dentist needs to do it (not sure if they're just saying that).

I was told the same and when my dentist tried to refer me i was told 9 months waiting so i went private. Are your decayed teeth causing you pain ? As you may be able to wait on the waiting list for the treatments . I totally understand your comment on suicide but please remember this is the fear causing you to feel this way and you have a wonderful life ahead. So stay positive . Hopefully youll secure a job and can get any urgent work done asap. And you will feel better
@Jackieallen Glad to hear you got things sorted. They aren't causing me any pain yet luckily. Thank you so much x

Actually my teeth are still terrible. And i anticipate many being removed in the near future Smoking not helped plus bad hygiene routine . Your young and will be able to get yours sorted and have years of stron teeth
@Jackieallen I'm so sorry to hear, hopefully that doesn't happen and things improve. Best of luck to you and take care of yourself 🤗
Just thought I'd update here a little.
Potentially found an NHS dentist. I have to call tomorrow morning and find out. Hopefully all is looking up. Thank you so much to everyone on the forum, it's helped a lot and I can imagine it'll help during my appointments 😁
Best of luck for tomorrow! Let us know what happens :)