A
Alibennett
Junior member
- Joined
- Jul 1, 2025
- Messages
- 3
- Location
- Fareham
Just a rather long sucess story to hopefully bring some comfort and confidence to those of you who, much like myself, avoided a dentist appointment for just over 10 years due to my phobia and negative childhood experience!
(Sorry, this is long.)
A little over three months ago, I discovered a dark patch that had formed on the side of my top left wisdom tooth. This was the dreaded decay patch you'd find and absolutely freak out over; potential tooth breakage and an inevitable abcess in the making - a clear cut sign that I have put off the dentist for far too long.
I remember sitting there on my boyfriends bed, heart sinking as I let myself investigate the damage. Of course when you can't actually see something but you have the ability to feel it, that particular thing can feel a lot worse than what it actually is... and where dentistry is involved, what you can see surface level may end up being worse on the inside.
Luckily for me, my boyfriend is a very positive influence and with his gentle encouragement I decided to bite the bullet and went in search for a dentist to sign up to. Being in the UK and on income support (mental health and whatnot,) means NHS dentistry comes free for the most part. The only issue is... finding an NHS dentist is like finding a needle in a haystack, and even rarer to find one that specialises in working with anxiety patients like myself.
Somehow I was incredibly lucky to find just that: a dentist just a half hour walk from my house specialising in working with anxiety patients that took on NHS patients! Despite my fear and worry, I sent the dentist an email and begrudgingly waited for a response.
The email came swiftly from a lovely receptionist who was kind and considerate, but also did make sure to let me know that the next available appointment would be three months from the time of their email. Okay, that's fine. I'm in no pain and I'm keeping a good eye on my wizzy, brushing twice a day as well as flossing with a water flosser. All good!
Of course being the anxiety ridden woman I am, I was silently very happy with how long I had to wait. However as we all know, time really does fly and it felt as if I'd blinked and suddenly three months have gone by.
This leads to this week...
My anxiety was going CRAZY. I hardly slept the days leading upto today, had trouble getting a decent meal down me and my brain would not shut off. It was awful... despite it just being a check up, I could not accept the fact that it was nothing to worry about. I kept remembering all of the terrible appointments and treatments my previous dentist put me through, my crippling fear of sharp tools like needles and picks, and the potential judgement a new dentist may give me for the state of my teeth.
Today was the day... my appointment was booked for 10am and I was running on fumes. I'd been awake for over 24 hours, avoiding food because it felt like I was going to throw up, and my chest felt like it had a super tight band around it making it difficult to breath. Typical anxiety, really.
My brother, bless him, opted to join me. He too has an appointment in the coming weeks and thought it would be a good idea to join me so that I had company just in case I ended up having a panic attack, and also so he can familiarise himself with the practise and the dentists.
The walk down was slow and miserable. Every fibre in my being was begging me to turn tail and run home... which made me feel miserable because I'm a 25 year old woman who had her tail tucked between her legs...
We eventually made it to the building. It looked quaint, just a typical UK dentist (house converted to a dentist office.) What made it a little less daunting was the fact that it did not particularly have that 'dentist smell.' That's always triggered me.
I got booked in. The receptionist (not the same one that spoke to me beforehand) was okay, though she did seem rather bored and unavailable to chat. I understood - she probably had a ton of people in that morning, however I did make sure to mention my anxiety and she wasn't particularly interested. That didn't help my nerves, but I did decide to try and move past that and focus on the fact that I hadn't met my new dentist yet.
10 agonising minutes go by.
I attempted to focus on how many things of each colour I could see to avoid a panic attack, which actually helps! Then my name was called... my heart dropped and I and my brother hastily get up. I waddled into the room on the verge of tears. The moment I laid my eyes on that chair? Oh, I absolutely broke.
My brother took my belongings as I sat down, tears streaming down my face as the dentist introduced himself and asked the assistant to fetch me a cup of water.
He was honestly brilliant! Not too soft spoken, he was stern yet kind, reassuring me that he wasn't here to hurt me. We discussed the poor experience I had with my previous dentist and he went on to explain exactly what he was going to do, showed me the X-Ray tools and how they worked, and the X-Ray itself was completed in a matter of moments. That didn't hurt but it was a little uncomfortable chewing down on something that was squishing my tongue. Then the prodding began. I was grateful that my dentist didn't say 'so and so slight decay, so and so this condition and that etc, etc.' He just rattled off different numbers and dentisty words I did not understand, prodded my teeth and gave my gums a good jab which wasn't exactly painless but not enough to freak me out.
The X-Ray results return and the two had a little chat with eachother before he turned around and said something I really wasn't expecting: "Your teeth are actually in good condition, and we can fill the wisdom tooth rather than remove it."
Needless to say, I was shocked. I actually sat up and said "Wait, really?" And my dentist mentioned how I actually smiled for the first time and that it was a lovely sight to see! I was honestly expecting to have my wizzy removed and get at least three or four fillings, maybe even root canals (doctor Google IS NOT YOUR FRIEND!)
We spoke for a bit after, going over the treatment and a mention of a potential deep clean. However deep cleans are not free on the NHS, and I do not have the money right now to afford one. That can wait until I do have it though, which is good.
I exit with my brother and got that all booked in for a month's time. Mind you... I could have gotten that filling done this Friday, and I strongly advice anyone else to absolutely go for that. My reason for waiting a month is simply due to the fact that I had spent days without decent sleep, not enough to eat and constant worry that really wittled me down a ton. A lot of stress has the potential to trigger an episode for me, so I decided that I needed a good recharge before the inevitable injections to come... and that's the thing: you are in control. You can make decisions to protect yourself and your mental wellbeing, but do not use this as a 'get out of jail free' card to avoid any treatment longer than necessary. I very well could have walked out and refused treatment, but believe me when I say that oral health effects so much more than just your mouth. It's your mental health, your confidence and so much more.
Now, this isn't to say I am miraculously healed from my dental phobia. Oh no, that I will never be able to fully shift, but it does get a little easier with each visit. Exposure therapy is a very effective method!
I know that August will be difficult. I will likely go through all of the needless worry again, maybe moreso knowing that I will be having an injection or two, but I believe I am ready for whatever is to come despite my fears. The relief, the sense of achievement and the confidence you experience once you leave the dentist doors is one of the most exhilarating feelings!
You all have the power to face your phobia. Especially dental phobia. It isn't easy, it's bloody difficult and you are not weak for having this phobia. It's pretty common, and for good reason - nobody likes being poked with sharp objects, especially in the mouth. But you know what? Dentistry has come a long way since way back when. Treatments are preformed quicker, dentists are generally much softer and more understanding nowadays, and there are always improvements!
I'm sure I will end up returning to this forum when August 18th rocks around, firstly with a few panicked posts and then the very happy and excited 'I did it again!' Post.
Just remember: you are in control. You got this, and I believe in you. Go show the world that you won't let your phobia rule your life
(Sorry, this is long.)
A little over three months ago, I discovered a dark patch that had formed on the side of my top left wisdom tooth. This was the dreaded decay patch you'd find and absolutely freak out over; potential tooth breakage and an inevitable abcess in the making - a clear cut sign that I have put off the dentist for far too long.
I remember sitting there on my boyfriends bed, heart sinking as I let myself investigate the damage. Of course when you can't actually see something but you have the ability to feel it, that particular thing can feel a lot worse than what it actually is... and where dentistry is involved, what you can see surface level may end up being worse on the inside.
Luckily for me, my boyfriend is a very positive influence and with his gentle encouragement I decided to bite the bullet and went in search for a dentist to sign up to. Being in the UK and on income support (mental health and whatnot,) means NHS dentistry comes free for the most part. The only issue is... finding an NHS dentist is like finding a needle in a haystack, and even rarer to find one that specialises in working with anxiety patients like myself.
Somehow I was incredibly lucky to find just that: a dentist just a half hour walk from my house specialising in working with anxiety patients that took on NHS patients! Despite my fear and worry, I sent the dentist an email and begrudgingly waited for a response.
The email came swiftly from a lovely receptionist who was kind and considerate, but also did make sure to let me know that the next available appointment would be three months from the time of their email. Okay, that's fine. I'm in no pain and I'm keeping a good eye on my wizzy, brushing twice a day as well as flossing with a water flosser. All good!
Of course being the anxiety ridden woman I am, I was silently very happy with how long I had to wait. However as we all know, time really does fly and it felt as if I'd blinked and suddenly three months have gone by.
This leads to this week...
My anxiety was going CRAZY. I hardly slept the days leading upto today, had trouble getting a decent meal down me and my brain would not shut off. It was awful... despite it just being a check up, I could not accept the fact that it was nothing to worry about. I kept remembering all of the terrible appointments and treatments my previous dentist put me through, my crippling fear of sharp tools like needles and picks, and the potential judgement a new dentist may give me for the state of my teeth.
Today was the day... my appointment was booked for 10am and I was running on fumes. I'd been awake for over 24 hours, avoiding food because it felt like I was going to throw up, and my chest felt like it had a super tight band around it making it difficult to breath. Typical anxiety, really.
My brother, bless him, opted to join me. He too has an appointment in the coming weeks and thought it would be a good idea to join me so that I had company just in case I ended up having a panic attack, and also so he can familiarise himself with the practise and the dentists.
The walk down was slow and miserable. Every fibre in my being was begging me to turn tail and run home... which made me feel miserable because I'm a 25 year old woman who had her tail tucked between her legs...
We eventually made it to the building. It looked quaint, just a typical UK dentist (house converted to a dentist office.) What made it a little less daunting was the fact that it did not particularly have that 'dentist smell.' That's always triggered me.
I got booked in. The receptionist (not the same one that spoke to me beforehand) was okay, though she did seem rather bored and unavailable to chat. I understood - she probably had a ton of people in that morning, however I did make sure to mention my anxiety and she wasn't particularly interested. That didn't help my nerves, but I did decide to try and move past that and focus on the fact that I hadn't met my new dentist yet.
10 agonising minutes go by.
I attempted to focus on how many things of each colour I could see to avoid a panic attack, which actually helps! Then my name was called... my heart dropped and I and my brother hastily get up. I waddled into the room on the verge of tears. The moment I laid my eyes on that chair? Oh, I absolutely broke.
My brother took my belongings as I sat down, tears streaming down my face as the dentist introduced himself and asked the assistant to fetch me a cup of water.
He was honestly brilliant! Not too soft spoken, he was stern yet kind, reassuring me that he wasn't here to hurt me. We discussed the poor experience I had with my previous dentist and he went on to explain exactly what he was going to do, showed me the X-Ray tools and how they worked, and the X-Ray itself was completed in a matter of moments. That didn't hurt but it was a little uncomfortable chewing down on something that was squishing my tongue. Then the prodding began. I was grateful that my dentist didn't say 'so and so slight decay, so and so this condition and that etc, etc.' He just rattled off different numbers and dentisty words I did not understand, prodded my teeth and gave my gums a good jab which wasn't exactly painless but not enough to freak me out.
The X-Ray results return and the two had a little chat with eachother before he turned around and said something I really wasn't expecting: "Your teeth are actually in good condition, and we can fill the wisdom tooth rather than remove it."
Needless to say, I was shocked. I actually sat up and said "Wait, really?" And my dentist mentioned how I actually smiled for the first time and that it was a lovely sight to see! I was honestly expecting to have my wizzy removed and get at least three or four fillings, maybe even root canals (doctor Google IS NOT YOUR FRIEND!)
We spoke for a bit after, going over the treatment and a mention of a potential deep clean. However deep cleans are not free on the NHS, and I do not have the money right now to afford one. That can wait until I do have it though, which is good.
I exit with my brother and got that all booked in for a month's time. Mind you... I could have gotten that filling done this Friday, and I strongly advice anyone else to absolutely go for that. My reason for waiting a month is simply due to the fact that I had spent days without decent sleep, not enough to eat and constant worry that really wittled me down a ton. A lot of stress has the potential to trigger an episode for me, so I decided that I needed a good recharge before the inevitable injections to come... and that's the thing: you are in control. You can make decisions to protect yourself and your mental wellbeing, but do not use this as a 'get out of jail free' card to avoid any treatment longer than necessary. I very well could have walked out and refused treatment, but believe me when I say that oral health effects so much more than just your mouth. It's your mental health, your confidence and so much more.
Now, this isn't to say I am miraculously healed from my dental phobia. Oh no, that I will never be able to fully shift, but it does get a little easier with each visit. Exposure therapy is a very effective method!
I know that August will be difficult. I will likely go through all of the needless worry again, maybe moreso knowing that I will be having an injection or two, but I believe I am ready for whatever is to come despite my fears. The relief, the sense of achievement and the confidence you experience once you leave the dentist doors is one of the most exhilarating feelings!
You all have the power to face your phobia. Especially dental phobia. It isn't easy, it's bloody difficult and you are not weak for having this phobia. It's pretty common, and for good reason - nobody likes being poked with sharp objects, especially in the mouth. But you know what? Dentistry has come a long way since way back when. Treatments are preformed quicker, dentists are generally much softer and more understanding nowadays, and there are always improvements!
I'm sure I will end up returning to this forum when August 18th rocks around, firstly with a few panicked posts and then the very happy and excited 'I did it again!' Post.
Just remember: you are in control. You got this, and I believe in you. Go show the world that you won't let your phobia rule your life
. I so agree that Google is not your friend when it comes to diagnosing health conditions (and neither is AI, lol).
so that's great help right there. 
