Yuki's Dental Hell (dentists, implants, extreme anxiety- a real fun read)

[Deck2015]

Re: Yuki's Dental Hell (dentists, implants, extreme anxiety- a real fun read)

Yuki..I hope you won't take offense to this, but reading your story, I was laughing out loud. Certainly *NOT* laughing at you, but laughing at the insanity of it all.

Why? Why would I understand the obscene costs & sarcasm associated with your story? Because I too am in the process of a front upper tooth extract, zombie mouth (bone graft ), implant...I'm 13 months in and still no perm crown. Worse, worse, I too spent close to $1000 USD just in consult fees.

My advice: Get the best oral surgeon you can to do the implant and the best prosthodontist to do the crown. Also, if any of your providers give you a sketchy feeling, run the opposite direction.

To summarize my very similar hell:

1. Tooth hurts, go see Dentist. Dentist says tooth fine, you're crazy.

2. Tooth still hurts, go see a new Dentist. New Dentist say tooth is re-infected (RCT'd and Apico years ago)

3. New, greedy Dentist sends me to see her "buddy" who is an Endo will sketchy reviews online --Sketchy Enod says "Sure, we can repeat Apico!! It'll run you $1,500 USD with zero guarantees"....what he *DOESN'T* tell me is that repeat Apico has about a 30-40% success rate.

4. I keep my $1,500 and seek the advice of another, well respected Endo. New Endo says "We could repeat Apico but I think you're wasting your money due to success rates of repeat Apico - may be time to give up the ghost on this front upper tooth"...I see my new Dentist who has earned my trust at this point. New Dentist agrees with New Endo...says Apico are "last heroic effort to save RCT tooth with re-infection"...says Repeat Apico even more bad, bad idea and I might as well throw my good money into a toilet.

4. See new Oral Surgeon -- well respected. I like him. He says "Sure, we extract but because you have had repeat infection that ate away at the bone, need bone graft. Bone graft / Implant success directly tied to how strong it is when Implant is place. Best extract/zombie bone same procedure. KEY to Wait 4 months to make sure Zombie jaw has essentially fused with your own bone and then ok'd to have Implant. Had Implant done 4 mos later. Still no crown. Return in 4 mos to have final testing of implant to make sure it's all sound before they put a crown on it and put pressure on the implant. <<This was the explanation for not getting same day extract/zombie bone/Implant procedure.

During this horror of a process, You're not toothless...you get the dreaded flipper. Love/hate relationship with flipper...some days would love to throw it across the room but then glad I have it when I want to show my face in public.

Cost sounds about right. I had IV sedation for extract/zombie face, and had IV sedation again for implant surgery. Total cost for this single implant so far is roughly $5,000 USD -- and I had insurance that covered some of the cost - not much, but some. Mind you, that figure includes cost of flipper (front tooth sister, I hear you!!!)...crown and abutment at obscene cost yet to pay for...it'll run me about half what I'm already into for this tooth.

The effing consult fees...you had me right there. I think the highest consult fee I paid was $180 -- but for not actually having anything done, spending a grand to listen to greedy professionals tell me they knew how to suck money out of my bank with ZERO guarantees about the work just made my stomach turn. To be fair, they use their equipment, staff and some materials to consult and I get that it's not free but I do believe it could be more reasonable.

This is America -- where even Dentistry is for profit. I can't imagine what it's like for people who can't afford real dentistry. It's all horribly expensive. I don't know what people in horrible pain do when they need treatment if they don't have an extra grand burning a hole in their pocket.

 

[Yuki]

Re: Yuki's Dental Hell (dentists, implants, extreme anxiety- a real fun read)

Hey Deck!

No, I'm not offended lol. If people can get humor out of this insanity, well at least something positive came out of it. And I actually go through different phases of anxiety. First I get depressed, upset, sick... but when I feel people are exploiting my anxiety for their own gain, or when they are disregarding it callously, I get MAD lol. And my anger usually manifests as sarcasm.

And wow, you've been through a lot of crap too, haven't you?? Can you imagine a world where dentistry had to be honest? I can't! *twitch*

So, I did actually find the best dental implant team in my city. That's why they are so expensive. It's also why I get "immediate loading" ( I get a temporary plastic crown instead of a flipper. And of course, months of panic that I will somehow whack myself. But at the same time, I am so paranoid of failure that i would rather eat soft food for 4 months than risk anything LOL).

And I got an email reply from the Restoration dentists office where they heard me loud and clear, and are not going to ( I hope) suggest anything that is unrelated to my front teeth. I actually have to go in this afternoon to see them for my mold ( for implants crowns), and I'm anxious as hell. I'm SO SO DONE. Like, I am so OVER this bullshit. And I will either walk in there and cry, or walk in there with a "WTF" attitude, come AT ME bro >:[ !! I DARE YOU To CROSS ME ONE MORE TIME."

lol.

I'm like 110lbs of raging anxiety. I think at this point, pissing me off is the equivalent to a bleeding swimmer sticking their finger up a great white sharks nose.

But I just hate my stomach being out of sorts. I'm so tired of fighting. I'm tired of horror stories, placating MASSIVE egos, being sold shit I don't want, people assuming that because I can afford an implant, they can bullshit me on tons of other things that cost thousands of dollars that are not necessary.

I feel like dentistry is a field where the patient has to be ones own fiercest advocate. I am a well educated person. I'm not dumb. And sometimes I really resent being treated as such. I think some dental professionals are so used to being wealthy and in this echo chamber, that they fail to realize some of the "muggles" that see them aren't idiots.
And I agree. I really feel for people who can't afford all this crazy expensive dentistry. I find it off-putting that in the western world, we live in a society where we have the technology to actually fix medical problems ( I think dentistry is medical. We're dealing with the human body). But only those who have the money get to have fair treatment, and then they have to sleep with one eye open, ever-prepared for a constant stream of manipulation :/

UGH I am SO nervous and anxious about today D8 !! Will they treat me like shite? Will they try to push my anxiety buttons and scare me into spending more money? Will I bite someone's head off? Will I burst into tears? Will I sarcasm them to death??

I know withouta doubt they will probably think I'm a bit nutty.

 

[Yuki]

Re: Yuki's Dental Hell (dentists, implants, extreme anxiety- a real fun read)

Have to leave in 20 minutes to the Dental office to have my molds taken and see if they will LOAD ME UP with more Bullshit.

I don't want to go.

My anxiety is killing me.

Though fun thought ( or not): Anxiety is our bodies "Fight or Flight" response. It's our primitive brain signalling we are in immediate danger, and to get the hell away. So my question; Anxiety gives me the trots. This is an anonymous journal, so I can't GaF if people know I've been to the bathroom about 12 times this morning. So referring back to survival instincts, how can this be at ALL functional?
If you get diarrhea while running from a predator, isn't that sort of counter productive? It's not even remotely conducive to fleeing.

My body hates me.


I don't like living in a flesh suit that has these types of issues. I want my robot body.

 

[Deck2015]

Re: Yuki's Dental Hell (dentists, implants, extreme anxiety- a real fun read)

Hey, you've gone SO FAR already in this process! Give yourself some credit for that and for making this appointment, too.

How did your appointment go?

When are you scheduled for Extract/Zombie Jaw/Robocop Tooth root surgery? You're having IV sedation? it's AWESOME...seriously, the way to go. Cheaper than GA and the drugs they pump into your arm incl. a drug that has a retro amnesia effect...meaning, you may be "awake" during procedure but you're really not...you're super drugged so if they as you to move or open wider, you can respond to them but if you're like me, you won't remember a damn thing. The vast majority of patients respond similarly according to my Oral Surgeon.

You know, I had to ask a friend last year what IDGAF meant....I also don't get Tumblr. Crazy kids today anyway.

Now, I use IDGAF all the time. I texted it to my Mom last week about something and we both had a good laugh when she asked what it meant and told her. Good times.

I go numb when I have a serious anxiety attack...like numb in the face, fingers and palms of hands tingle or go numb, feet get hot suddenly...all of which makes me think I'm having a stroke...which makes me more anxious. It's awesome...I was sure earlier today that I was going to pass out in the grocery store. Instead, I saw a hot guy and tho I wasn't meaning to do it, I literally chased him around the store (he was going to the aisles I was heading for, I swear!). At some point in the cheese and yogurt aisle, I said to him "I feel like I'm stalking you!" and he said "I''m headed for the candy aisle next"....guess who came home with those tasty Reeses peanut butter cups and a Mounds bar? I promise to brush an extra minute tonight

So instead of passing out, I distracted myself by chasing a guy around -- and I wasn't wearing any make up and my hair is a hot mess. Damn.

Or my cat (I'm a crazy cat lady) -- my cat ALWAYS soothes my anxiety. Purring in my lap, letting me stroke his belly, getting wet kitty nose on my chin...it's all the greatest therapy for me. Not for everyone but works for me. I should get like 4 kittens and then it's HAPPY DAYS FOREVER!!

What do you do to beat your anxiety attacks?

 

[Yuki]

Re: Yuki's Dental Hell (dentists, implants, extreme anxiety- a real fun read)

Yes, checking n here 2 weeks later.

Im not great at journaling here regularly because I find this place can be helpful, but then it can also trigger my anxiety at times. So I have to balance it carefully.

I laid down the law with the restoration dentist and .. well, he now seems to fear me. It's really odd lol. He doesn't know how to take me, how to approach me. Like it's bizarre- he says he's never had a patient as anxious as me, and isn't used to people not trusting him.

Seriously dude? You went into DENTISTRY. You went into a field knowing that people hate dentists and get squicked out by teeth and drilling and all that. But I think he is so rich, and so out of touch with the common man, that it just doesnt dawn on him that life can be hard for us little people. He truly had no idea that 10k for dental work was expensive for some people.

However, they are doing exactly what I want. So, he can go ahead and fear me, and be baffled by my distrust of him. For dentists, respect and trust is EARNED with me lol D:. If I had ever dealt with an honest dentist maybe I wouldn't be like this, but that wasn't the case.

Know what else I discovered? He has no sense of humour. He is a nice man, and Im confident he is competent ( he is the best). But he takes everything I say seriously.. every weird joke. Maybe he's an alien and sheds his skin every night, and he hasn't yet learned all there is to human behaviour. idk.

In other news, finally have my implant surgery date; THSI FRIDAY at 10:45am . I am SO so so petrified. omg. My stomach is flipping.

I'm getting I'V sedation, and since I also have a needle phobia ( I'm a fainter. It's written on my chart),that should be fun lol. My partner took the day off work to drive me there and back. I just can't believe this is happening to me. I also metabolize drugs VERY quickly. So Im afraid they won't freeze me enough. So I will yammer on about it when I get there. My procedure apparently should only take 1:15mins including sedation period. That's like, about the same amount of time as a root canal... so I was happy it isn't that long. I'd love to know more about the sedation process though. It's never happened to me before :[

I think I'm at that age where I'm going through a transition process ( I'm in mid-thirties but I'm still carded to buy wine so I have this false sense of feeling 25 LOL)- but I'm transitioning from youth where I kind of felt like I had a robot body, to this body that is real, and can have weird shit happen to it. That has blood, bone and teeth. Things that can go wrong, things that can break down.

I'm a regular gym goer, and healthy eater and all that. I have to stay away from the gym for a few days, but all this has inspired me to keep on that path of health. A lot of people assume it's too look good. And you know, I cannot in all honesty say it's not. We are all human, and the number one reason humans workout and lift weights is vanity. However, the part of me doing it for health is increasing in it's priority. I don't want to look ahead and expect I will have to have bypass surgery, or any medical complications that I think could have been prevented. So yeah.

To answer Deck ( and thanks for waiting! So sorry I go away for periods): I deal with my anxiety in a variety of ways;
Gym. I workout maybe 5 times a week. I do 45 mins of HIT (high intensity interval training cardio) and 45 minutes of weight lifting. Doing this makes my body physically tired, and it helps my anxiety because when your body is tired, you're panic levels can only get *so* high. You don't have the energy to panic past a certain level. It also helps immensely with sleep ( which I have issues with because my mind is always active). As anyone who suffers anxiety knows, when you don't get decent sleep, anxiety worsens. It exacerbates everything. SO there I that.

Videogames: They distract me. Distraction is a good tool for anxiety. I also have a little dog that is better for helping my anxiety than any SSRI I've ever taken.

Wine: LOL. Not TOO much. I never get hammered, or drunk. I have a glass or two of white wine to relax sometimes ( maybe twice a week). Too much can make things worse, or else disrupt sleep for me.

Benzos. : Diazapine. I have a small bottle for emergencies. I never take a large dose, and stick to 1mg if I can't seem to control my thoughts in any other way. If Im fretting at 3am, then I will take one. They work almost instantly, and you don't need to be taking them for like, 6 weeks to ee an effect like an SSRI. Since they are notoriously habit forming, it;s important to never increase dosage, and also make sure that if you take them for 3 days, you take 3 days off of them.

Wish me luck everyone

 

[Yuki]

Re: Yuki's Dental Hell (dentists, implants, extreme anxiety- a real fun read)

I made it through implant surgery today. Just got home like, an 2 hours ago. Had a small nap.

The Twilight sedation ,as expected, didn't have the same effect on me as like it does others. I have a clear memory of most things, though to be fair, not much of what was actually going on in my mouth during surgery. I remember some thing started to hurt a wee bit twice and I was able to tell them so. But thus far I am able to remember the waiting room, the I.V being placed ( Ow ffs, that numbing cream doesn't help one bit tbh lol). Th burning sensation in my arm when the medicine went in. I remember them talking to me, finishing up. All the post care instructions. They wheeled me to our car and i remember that.
Lets say I remember everything aside from extraction + drilling. Im fairly happy with the way it went this way. This fabled total amnesia would have been great, but I have a strong mind lol. And I fared ok. Im still rather tired and dopey. My partner came back with my prescription. and though I explicitly asked them for decent pain drugs TWICE, AND brought my own doctor to advocate for me, they stuck we with sub-standard T-3's. Pissed about it. Im so tired of dental offices lying. I told them explicitly that Tylenol family does nothing for me. Im going to give them a whirl, but if Im in pain, it is hammer of the fucking Gods time.
I really resent that it seems one has to be mean and angry to get dental offices to follow thru with their word. Just fuck them to hell lmao. I have a bottle of oxycontin saved for just such an emergency. My wrist looks so bruised from the IV, and my mouth looks like a zombie mouth. Which Im somewhat enjoying.But its done. Im not in too much pain yet at all. I have a cold pack I have to alternate to try to stave off swelling. I also have a temporary plastic crown ( for vanity only).. So no flipper for me. Not that the temporary crown LOOKS nice. My gums are mangled ( tho he made sure to tell my partner how much better they are??) . The temporary crown looks too small. But oh well. Rather look like i have fucked up teeth for 4 months than a flipper.
All in all, the dental office was good, the nurses were excellent, but they lied about pain killers. I think it's a sexism thing. Because I don't for one minute see them promising good pain drugs to my 250lbs ex cop father and not delivering.
And now Im rotating ice packs off my mouth in 30 min rotations.

 

[Yuki]

Re: Yuki's Dental Hell (dentists, implants, extreme anxiety- a real fun read)

So it's been almost 4 days post-op. I'm doing ok.

Since surgery, probably the weirdest thing was just how swollen my face got! It's starting to subside somewhat today, but I still can't smile or anything. Which is fine, I'm creeped out by what's going on in my mouth anyways. But even though I iced it like crazy for the first 36 hours I really blew up. I'm not sure why I never read that before this.
The pain has been mostly tolerable. Though my anxiety is really bad. I think I'm blue for a wide variety of reasons. Namely, just anxiety that this will fail. Being inside for 4 days straight now not being able to do much (usually I'm pretty active, like the gym etc etc), I'm getting sick of the liquid/soft food, though it's not too bad. Also I guess I was on a lot of meds and stuff.

I was also upset by the surgeons office yesterday. Anyone who has read my journal knows how hard it was for me to get here. And I had been put through so much crap by dentists, that to the final consultation with the surgeon I chose, I made sure to bring my best friend who is a specialist ( 13 years of med school). I brought her, because I was fed up with being disrespected constantly. I wanted her there as an educated third party, who knows how clinics and stuff work.
However, I don' think the surgeon knew she was a medical professional. The nurse did.

But they promised me up, down and side ways that my concerns would be taken care of. I told them I had severe anxiety. I can tolerate pain, but Tylenol as a compound isnt as effective for me.
I didn't want to be left in discomfort.

He swore up and down they would deliver bit lo and behold; day of surgery I go home with 2.5 days of T3's. THAT'S IT.
So yesterday, I was nervous. Again, it's not that the pain is intolerable. I wrote an email being honest, very polite, saying I think I was nearly ok, but I'd appreciate maybe TWO more pills. That's it. And I would only use them if the thing started to throb at night and stoked my anxiety. Because it's hell.

Well took them all day to get back to me, and when they did, the nurse took a snotty tone, and said the "Dr" refused to prescribe any more pain killers, and that if I was in such "excruciating" pain, something must be very wrong, and I should get down there asap and let him figure out what.

I was like, flabbergasted. They basically treated me like I was a spoiled brat in suburbia, raiding her gramma's cupboard for oxycodone or something.

The EXACT concern I specifically voiced to them in my consultation with a medical doctor as a witness. The very thing they assured me would not happen.

What an egotistical prick.

And on top of that, apparently while I was being sedated, the dental surgeon waltzed into the waiting room where my partner was waiting for me, and started bitching about how all his nurses were harassing him to MARRY them to his male receptionist. I shit you not. He didn't even bother to try to hide it in the small waiting room.
See, this dude is a good looking guy. My partner is female, so it has no affect on me or her, but I can be objective. But wow does HE think he is something else.

Just a weird anecdote lol. But anyways, I felt very very upset yesterday on top of everything because of this treatment . It made me feel like some kind naughty child. I just can't stand it when dental offices make you ashamed.

But then I thought... it is IMPOSSIBLE to get addicted or anything else to Tylenol 3 in 3 days. Like, it is absurd.
So I phone my best friend, who is an expert and one of the most highly skilled specialists in the province to ask if I had sounded like some kind of addict or something, or if I was being unreasonable.

Overwhelming NO. She was actually angry FOR me. She said the very idea that this DICK would be so stingy with T3's post surgery was plain stupid. Like, uneducated stupid. She said I didn't do anything wrong by asking, and if this was the medical field ( instead of cosmetic dental), it would have been No PROBLEM. in fact, I would have been given more initially.
She said the problem comes from 1. Ego. Massive ego. 2. Dentists are not educated in body systems and drugs to the extent a specialist is. Doctors know these compounds inside and out. They study far beyond teeth and gums. And an extra day of T3's, to treat a patient like that after surgery? Should be a no brainer. And it is literally STUPID to act like I'm asking for like, the stem cells of a new born baby.

It would haven been perfectly safe for him to prescribe me a few more pills. Also, this is PRIVATE. She is governed by the public system. Private care has no such excuse, with the money we are paying to be so ridiculous.
She's also mad he lied to both of us about this and dismissed my concerns.

I think this guy knows what he's doing implant wise. I think he is a good surgeon. I just think he's an egotistical dick, who lacks compassion much like most dentists.

So I'm feeling really depressed that after all this crap, after how careful I was, after $4000 for this surgery, Im treated in the very way I feared right from the beginning. I'm mad that in this day and age, it almost seems like you have to be a bitch to advocate for yourself.

However, my friend had another doctor we know prescribe me T3's lol. I haven't used them yet today. Because as I said, I only wanted them "just in case".

Now the snotty nurse will phone me tomorrow and I don't know how to act to her. Im still hurt, and mad and out of sorts. I have to be bound to these people for months .

I guess I have to think about the end game scenario. It's Me vs Them, and I want to get through this. I just hope everything works out.

I just feel like crying all the time.

 

[Yuki]

Re: Yuki's Dental Hell (dentists, implants, extreme anxiety- a real fun read)

Thought I'd make a post today because I'm feeling a bit better. Everyday is getting better.

I'm a lot less swollen. I still can't smile ( and thats ok lol), but my Advil every 4 hours is doing the job, and I'm not in much discomfort at all .

Lats night while performing my before bed oral hygiene as instructed, I had a scare because when i let the water fall from my mouth there was a bunch of blood D: . But upon inspection, I realize a suture naturally came out. So I'm starting to lose the stitches. I was just surprised how many of them I actually have! As well as the implant, he performed gum surgery on me. I guess the sutures has something to do with that. But today, no bleeding, no nothing.

STILL don't really know what's going on in there LOL. I'm kind of happy about that. As well, the mouthwash they give you is iodine based and temporarily turn teeth a bit yellow so I don't need to see that lmao.

I was even thinking of going outside today as I'm running out of soft foods... but we were hit with a winter storm, and everyone on Facebook is talking about how they all almost slipped on ice out there. Im like petrified of falling on my face LOL. Idk what to do about that D:. Maybe just be super careful and hope the roads are salted, or stay in.

I was also hoping to start back at the gym, but everything I read said to take it easy the first week. So maybe I'll do just that. One week off won't kill me.

 

[Yuki]

Re: Yuki's Dental Hell (dentists, implants, extreme anxiety- a real fun read)

So it's officially been a week since my implant surgery. I've stuck to liquids/soft food and I don't have too much problem with that. A bit of a very MILD stomach discomfort but I think that's because my milk product consumption went from next to none, to like, all the time lol.
I made a huge batch of rice pudding and got through it this week. As well as yogurts, protein shakes, chocolate mousse- everything made with milk lol. My system is probably wondering what the hell is going on lol. Trying to counter it with lots of green juice (kale, swiss chard, romaine juiced). I also got Tofu dogs ( I'm a weirdo that doesn't eat meat) and cut them up very small. Since I usually eat with chopsticks, it's easy to eat because I can place them at the back of my mouth .
I DO like pudding though, I have to say lol !

The pain is very minimal so long as I don't use my mouth. In real life, I discovered just how much of an expressive person I am, alway speaking with weird facial contortions- and I can't smile yet (there's a bit of swelling left to may facial area beneath my nose and upper lip). It makes it ache because I think it's pulling on the swollen area. It's not noticeable if I have a neutral face expression, but if I try to smile it just looks weird lol . I can't fully smile either. Not nearly. So I'd rather just be quiet and leave it. Still taking Advil every 4 hours. My doctor friend said if it gets achy after a full day I can take Extra strength Tylenol + Advil at the same time safely. But I mean it's not a big deal type of pain, more "discomfort". The top part feels like a bruise if you touch it (thus I leave it alone). The rest... well ever get like, a large piece of food stuck between your teeth, and it feels really weird? Like a larger piece of popcorn kernel. And then you have to fish it out with floss or a pick or it drives you nuts? It's like that. Also, when you move around, like the other day I cleaned house- it will ache more. Exercise makes it ache more, as well as bending over with your head down. It's basically just blood pressure. Doing all these things brings fresh blood to the area and you feel it . Again, not too bad though at all ( I'm detailing this shit in case one day, someone reads this, manages to get past my crazy, panicked insane babbling and wants to know in detail what to expect.).
Also, more stitches are falling out. It's weird to have these little threads wafting around when I swish with salt water and use that mouthwash lol. It feels like I have a hair in my mouth!

Have to say, the temporary crown doesn't look very good. I'm trying to not be a spoiled brat and look at the positive side; I do NOT have a flipper. This is a temporary crown that I don't have to take in and out like a lot of other people. So I'm pretty grateful. I just don't get why they didn't really match the color to the rest of my teeth . It's a lot more yellow looking. It's possible that weird iodine-based mouth wash is doing it. Apparently this stuff temporarily turns your teeth more yellow. I have to use it for one more week.
Also I was supposed to have gum surgery ( I DID), but the gums from what I can see look odd. It's like I have the gums of a 75 year old ( they look too receeded or weird...)But I guess it's the first week, and I can barely see up in there. I'll wait it out for now.
Even still, I know it's not supposed to be the greatest. It's supposed to be "socially acceptable" if people know what I mean. And I can just cover my face when I smile for a few months.

The nurse from the surgeon's office was supposed to phone about my progress 2 days ago and never did. I'm not that broken up over it though. She was a bit patronizing on the phone last time that triggered my phobia a bit, making it so I'm a bit nervous to even go to my check up next week . I'm going, but I hate being in survival mode all the time.

 

[Yuki]

Re: Yuki's Dental Hell (dentists, implants, extreme anxiety- a real fun read)

Reflecting on this whole experience so far, on everything I've been through, I've come to a few conclusions:

1. My dental anxiety is legendary.

2. My original family dentist I visit near my parents is a decent man. I was so freaked out, so unGodly anxious when this first happened, that I wasn't thinking in my right head at ALL about anything. Every nerve was triggered and I let my reptilian brain take over. When this happens I can't trust anyone. But now that I have been through countless more dental offices, I've gained a new appreciation for him. He truly does treat me like a human being. He doesn't act like an overlord. If I wear a Walking Dead hoodie, he will ask what I thought of the recent episode. He talks about going camping with his son. He doesn't have a big ego.
I like him. I can't believe I'm saying this lol.

3. I actually have FAITH in my new restoration dentist . I accidentally freaked him the hell out that one day, when my anxiety was so bad, that I couldn't filter my thoughts as much as usual. So he made a point to sit down with me and encourage me to think of the final product, which he assured me will be great. Since he strikes me as an obsessive perfectionist, I actually believe him. I just have to make it through, and try to keep my anxiety at a minimum so this thing heals asap.

OSSEOINTEGRATE BODY. OSSEOINTEGRATE.

4. I was feeling depressed last night about having shitty teeth for the next 4 months, and I was also depressed with how much I had to go through. As I said in a previous post, I'm really nervous to go for my check ups. For one, to make sure things are going right, but also because of how they made me feel Monday when I asked for TWO TYLENOL 3's. Two. I am weary of ego and condescension when I'm paying thousands of dollars.
My partner, who is a Russian immigrant said she expects to be treated poorly by dental and medical professionals, so she takes it in her stride. She thinks it's just part of the process. This is because in Russia, they actually BRIBE doctors and hospitals all the time! She said it's normal that whenever you see a doctor, you give them gifts ( like a bottle of wine, or nice box of chocolates). The better care you want, the more you stoke their ego and shower them with gifts/money. If you don't provide gifts, you can expect substandard care. She has a story where a man bribed a doctor to neglect her uncle who was in a coma and he DIED.

So Canada is a step UP.

But then my "a-ha" moment; I moved from JAPAN to Canada. Japan has an incredibly high level of customer service. My first year in Canada in fact, I was in shock at how crappy businesses treated their customers ( and also employees tbh). I remember my first experience in a grocery store, when I was in a huge line up, and there were 12 cashier stations, but only two were open.
That would never happen in a major city in Japan. All tills would be open. Every station manned. They are efficient, polite, and non-judgmental. In Japan, you feel respected when you buy a donut. Or a Big mac.
When it comes to dentists and doctors, it is no different. My dentist in Japan was a man with a very gentle voice, very kind mannerisms, and if you had concerns he would profusely apologize, and promise he would do everything to help.
No ego.
In Japan, ego is considered a bad thing. Humility, efficiency, manners are valued when dealing with the public ( and Japan has a universal health care system! Yet doctors working for the government don't let the standard slide, nor their behaviour).
So I think I was entirely used to this for so long, that it is absolutely shocking to me sometimes that in professional settings, such as dental surgery or medicine, it is downright normal for customers to feel shamed, judged, or neglected. I can get over it entirely when it comes to buying a donut, or in a mall where a snotty teenager couldn't care less if you needed a fitting room- but with surgeons?? Dentists?? Unbelievable.

I guess I've been here 4 years, and I still haven't grown accustomed to it yet, so it bothers me at a profound level. I think western people have learned to take this with a grain of salt, or just roll their eyes and say "what a dick" and move on. Where as I feel offended.

Basically I have to acclimate more. Or else, adapt, evolve and become a bitch. My best friend says that being a "bitch" ( or basically assertive, not taking any crap) is an essential skill in 2017 in the west. I think she's right but I have a hard time with that lol.

(I'm not saying Japan is perfect by any means, it hass it's issues like any other place, but customer service and manners are pretty important)

5. Everyone should marathon Black Mirror on Netflix. Yes, I did that this week lol.

6. I haven't been eating enough pudding in my life. I have absolutely dismissed that whole food group as a waste of time.

I WAS A FOOL. lol

 

[thejager]

Re: Yuki's Dental Hell (dentists, implants, extreme anxiety- a real fun read)

Any update? Reading this has helped me some but it ends right when things are what I worry a lot about