My phobia is taking over my life.

[elisheva]

Disclaimer, I will definitely be rambling and this is my first time posting. I honestly just want to know I’m not alone in this, I carry such deep shame and fear over my teeth, and I’m afraid to tell anyone in my life because then I think they will force me to go.
I have a cavity in my front tooth, two of my back teeth are completely chipped down, and I’m pretty sure there is an abscess in one of them. I woke up this morning with my back tooth disintegrating.
I know I need to go, but I cannot even think about it. Hell, I can’t even say the word dentist without my anxiety spiking through the roof. I just want somebody to understand that I’m not just nervous, I am terrified. I don’t know if I could walk into a dentists office and willingly sit down in that chair. I can’t speak to dentists. If I find out someone’s profession is in that field, I can’t look at the them the same. I have nightmares about them. Watching TV, on social media, or just people speaking in general, with their perfect white teeth, makes me want to cry. Just seeing a toothpaste ad will send me into a spiral. And socially it’s an actual nightmare, because for some reason dental work and dental visits is all anyone talks about. (I am aware that I’m exaggerating, but this is how it feels.)
I honestly feel like I was cursed, having these horrible things in my mouth. I just want dentures, I would rather have them all gone. The fact that going to the dentist is part of life is something I can’t fathom. There is a pit in my stomach writing this and there will be a deeper one when I post this, because I know people will try to give me solutions. I cannot go.
I hate myself for this, I hate this part of myself. I just want it to disappear.

 

[letsconnect]

Hi @elisheva, you are definitely not alone with your feelings! Many people have felt (or feel) this way. Anyone who has been there will know what immense courage it must have taken to type those words and hit "post".

I'm wondering how much of this website you have seen (many people don't realise that this forum is only one part of the website) - have you seen the Stories section? These are personal accounts of people who have experienced similar feelings to yourself - including the sheer terror at the thought of ever having to face a dentist. Reading those stories can be a helpful reminder that we're not alone in our fear.

Personal Stories of Dental Phobia

Read the stories of people who faced their phobia of the dentist, often after decades away from the dental chair - and lived to tell the tale!

www.dentalfearcentral.org

Sending warm wishes your way, and keeping my fingers crossed that you won't be in pain

 

[krlovesherkids777]

elisheva, Thank you for coming on here and stepping out in courage sharing your story. You are definitely not alone as @letsconnect mentioned. I agree hopefully you can be encouraged with the stories of others that were overwhelmed at the smallest thought of going to the dentist but took baby steps and conquered fears and helped themselves more than they could imagine. I do encourage you , just take those baby steps. You coming on here and sharing is huge in and of itself. I know I can identify with just being frozen at the though of going. You are not alone!

 

[Emmylou]

Sorry I’m about to selfishly rant about my own problems because it’s so nice to commiserate with someone. I absolutely cannot tell anyone in my life and I can’t face the thought of treatment .

I completely understand what you’re going through I feel the exact same way. I can’t even get myself to type out what’s wrong with my teeth cause I’m so incapable of dealing with it. I’ve been neglecting my teeth because I’m scared to look too closely and find even more wrong. But I pushed it too far and I’m not able to ignore my fear and that it’s getting worse. I have no idea what I’m going to do. I’ve been clenching my jaw and grinding my teeth extremely hard even though I could feel it causing pain in my gums and roots. I’m scared my teeth are on the brink of falling out and all I care about is holding as still as possible so that doesn’t happen.

Truly hope that both of us find some comfort or relief even if it’s temporary. Everything will be okay cause it has to be.

 

[elisheva]

@Emmylou It is absolutely not selfish, and if it is, I selfishly feel relieved to know I’m not alone in this. I fade in and out of having my fear on the back burner and completely impeding my daily life. I’ve also stopped looking at my teeth because every time I find myself shaking, feeling exposed and ashamed that I’ve let it get this bad.
I’m really sorry that you’re going through this, and I am sending you all of the comfort I can. We will be okay.

 

[gemcool16]

How are you now?

I too feel a deep sense of shame about my mouth and the issues I need treated. You are not alone.