Scared and Embarrassed. HELP

[Scaredandembarrassed]

Ok so I should probably tell you my story...


So I'm nearly thirty years old and I've never ever liked seeing the dentist, more so after having to have teeth extracted because I had too many to get braces, I really didn't like that guy *shudder*.

So fast forward ten years and I have a mental breakdown, everything goes to pot.

Four years later I think I'm doing great, then my wisdom teeth start coming in...not one at a time oh no...all four at once.

So one day I'm merrily eating a pancake and all of a sudden I realise one of my wisdom teeth is hurting, it's chipped and I freaked out, inwardly anyway.

So since then, and please don't judge me for this, my dental hygiene has been non-existent. Stupid I know, and things have just gotten worse and worse.

I know I'm going to lose multiple teeth and the very thought is bringing me to tears, what makes this whole thing worse is that no one else knows how bad things are, and I can't bear to tell my mum because I know she'd be so disappointed in me and it would break my heart to see that disappointment in her eyes.

Oh and another thing, I can't afford dental treatment at all...that's how tight things are.

I also have emetephobia...

I'm terrified of confronting the problem because I don't think I would survive the embarrassment of having missing teeth.

I know this is my own fault because I didn't do something about this sooner...

Please help, please don't judge me

 

[sunflower32]

Hi there. Welcome! You've come to the right place because no one will judge you here. I completely understand the feeling of knowing you have to go to the dentist but dreading everything that entails. I avoided the dentist for 18 years before finally going back 2 months ago, and I am so incredibly glad that I did go back. I still get very anxious before appointments, but I try to allay some of that fear by telling myself that I am choosing to go to the dentist because I am finally choosing to take care of my oral health. It actually makes me feel somewhat empowered, because I'm making the choice to take control of this area of my life.

Making that first appointment (and then actually going to that appointment) is the hardest part because we've let our imaginations run wild with every worst-case scenario we can possibly think of. Odds are that your teeth are not nearly as bad as you think they are. But even if they are as bad as you think, just the fact that you are choosing to go back to the dentist to get your teeth back into a healthy state will probably make you feel better. Because the alternative is doing nothing, and doing nothing can only lead to the situation getting worse. Even if you need to have a lot of work done, it's perfectly fine to spread out the procedures so that they are more affordable.

Dental technology has come a long way in recent decades. I've heard all sorts of stories of how even cracked/broken/decayed teeth can be saved. And when you go to the dentist, just make sure to communicate openly, explain your anxiety/fears, so that they understand where you're coming from. Or maybe just print out a copy of your original post from this forum if it's too hard for you to talk about it.

Good luck, and keep us posted on how you're doing!

 

[jbkb]

I agree with sunflower32, this forum is very non-judgemental as I think all of us have so much in common when it comes to our fears, we'd be mad to judge others who are in the same boat!

I'm so sorry you have to deal with all this. It's not easy. I lost a tooth this year, and the shame of it and my embarrassment at telling anyone (including my mum!) was acute. I know everyone's situation is different, but just to let you know, from my experience, most people are a. Less judgemental than you'd think and b Less interested than you'd think, when it comes to your dental treatment. I only told a handful of people about losing my tooth (it's a lower front molar so can only see it if I open my gob wide!) and they were either really sweet and supportive, or just a bit indifferent (not to my anxiety, Just not horror-struck or critical or anything like that). I actually also found out that three of my friends with really perfect teeth have had loads of dental work done, hence such nice teeth. One confessed to me she's phobic as well and has been a huge support. My mum was just sad I had to go through with an extraction, not disappointed though.

So people don't necessarily react how you'd think.

I found an amazing dentist in London - very expensive treatment, but I've been paying on a payment plan. Perhaps you could do that?

Lastly, it may sound weird but having dental phobia and overcoming it (to a degree) has actually made me a kinder, more empathetic person. It's a silver lining I didn't expect.

Good luck and let us know how you get on!