15 Years Shame ~ New Here

[FearfulJen18]

Hello All,

I finally got the courage to search my problem and im very happy to have found this website. This will be the first time i actually write about what i have been going through.

My problems started in my early teens, my mom took me to the dentist and the experience was so horrible that i never went back! When i was about 17 my tooth started to chip between 11 and 12, plus all the fillings that were used on my teeth had started to come out, with the phobia that i have I completely ignored it until tooth # 12 fell out and left me with a huge gap on my left side. At this point i went to the dentist to see how i can fix this so i can smile again. I think it had been the dentists first case of bad teeth, he seemed confused and kept putting his hands on his head as if he couldnt believe what was in front of him. With all that we came up with a plan to get my teeth fixed.

During this time i did not have insurance and would have to pay everything out of pocket and i knew that it would take me a while but i got some money together and scheduled my first extraction. I went to a different clinic to get that procedure done, my dentist had given me a card listing all the extractions needed. When the receptionist saw that card she started talking to the person next to her about me how she couldnt believe that a young girl had such problems with her teeth. Even with that i still went through with the extraction and never went back to the dentist. In 2005 i gave birth to my daughter and felt like i was going to faint when i was asked to open my mouth before they used Epidural on me.

In 2006 i was having pain on tooth #13 and it was so bad that the left side of my face completely swelled up and i had to tell everyone that i was having an allergic reaction to seafood, even with that i still didnt go to the dentist and just took some antibiotics that i found.

My problem has gotten so bad that I feel trapped (my tongue is trapped), im scared to go to the doctor to get chekups because i know they will ask me to open my mouth and i can not do that, even toothpaste commercials scare me i find my self changing the channels when a commercial comes on.

somehow i have managed to keep a good social life, the other day i was looking at party pics and everyone has a beautiful smile and i always have my mouth closed. I also have not been able to have a steady relationship because of my lack of self esteem.

Im so sorry for making this so long but i just have so much to say, I was reading other posts and i hope your encouraging words will help me make that first step towards freeedom!

Thanks

J

 

[mghstl]

Hi Jen...welcome to the company of some wonderful people who all understand EVERYTHING you're going through. There is nothing that you have experienced with your teeth that doesn't ring a bell with me. Fortunately you are still young and you're getting a handle on it NOW. I'm probably twice your age and hadn't been to a dentist in 20+ years. I've gone through numerous infections, broken teeth, lost teeth, decayed teeth, etc. I've avoided doctors, toothpaste commercials, cameras, social events, etc. And then I decided to tackle it all and get healthy. I did lots of research for sedation dentists in my area, found this website and read EVERYTHING, and finally broke down to my darling husband about my terror and pain. Eight weeks later, I am smiling again...REALLY smiling! You can do this heroic thing. Keep gathering strength and keep posting here.
My very best wishes.

 

[Romalotti]

I know how you feel. I have my first appointment in 9 years tomorrow afternoon and I am really scared to show him my teeth. But I realized that once the initial visit is over, things can only get better. I figure that if I DON'T see a dentist, my teeth will only get worse and that will make seeing the dentist even more horrible! You should make that appointment. I did, and hopefully I will start to get my teeth and my life back on track.

 

[FearfulJen18]

Hello, thanks for The encouragement I really need it. I went as far as getting the name of 2 dentists in my area I will do some research on both and I plan to call on Monday to make an appointment

I'm so embarrassed of my situation, I'm so strict with everything else in my life, I exercise, I eat healthy I always keep a good appearance.. How do I explain why I let my teeth get so bad??

So do I tell them about my phobia and problem when I make the appointment??

Thanks again

J

 

[mghstl]

You don't have to explain anything.
Definitely make them aware of your fears. If you don't feel reassured that they are prepared to deal with your anxiety, move on. Find another dentist. But remember...no one can read your mind, so you must voice your concerns (I know, I know...easier said than done!). I let my dentist know of my completely demoralizing humiliation and fear via email. Her response was what convinced me that I COULD make an appointment, I COULD break down in blubbery tears during my consultation, I COULD open my hideous mouth to her and begin this journey I am now on. Many dentists will prescribe a mild sedative for your first exam...ask for it!!!
Keep taking steps towards your victory. I wish you so much good.

 

[chickenjen]

From one Jen to another, !!
I second everything that mghstl said. Try to find dental offices that say that they deal with fearful patients. The first appointment, as scary as it is, is usually just Xrays and the dentist will maybe have a look in your mouth (if you allow it). Then a treatment plan will be formulated. So, before the dentist begins any treatment, you have an idea what needs to be done. If you don't feel comfortable at that dental practice, find another one!! If the dentist has e-mail, that's a great way to communicate. My current dentist has e-mail, that's how I got my first appointment.
I wish you all the best as you start on the road to dental health!
's,
Jen

 

[TerrifiedWoman]

Hi Jen!
Yep, we can all relate. Been there. I know from experience how horrible it is to go to a dentist and open your mouth..but once you do it..things will get easier. By all means let them know about your fears. I actually wrote a short letter to my dentist and gave it to him at my first visit. (I was too scared to actually talk!) I really think it helped a lot.
Hindsight being 20-20 I wish I had gone to a dentist YEARS ago..it would have saved me a lot of money..and my teeth. (I have dentures now.) You're still young..don't make my mistakes. Getting a beautiful smile is worth all the money and dental work in the world!

 

[Dr. Daniel]

Hey
Thanks for sharing your story. I second all the good advises you received in this forum, specially writing down an email to you dentist regarding your fear.
Writing on a computer or paper is a great way to unload a bit of the feelings we have and get a bit of emotional ventilation.
Another advantage of writing is that it might be even a bit confratning because it is not easy to consolidate your thoughts. It clears things up. If we just think to ourselves the thoughts and ideas might be obscured.
Once your thoughts are clearly standing in front of your eyes, they have a structure that you can address.
love