Fear and embarrassment going to the dentist

[Shaz77]

As a child my parents never bothered to take me to the dentist or make me brush my teeth but as I got older and was interested in boys I took it upon myself to start brushing and made an appointment myself ( about 14 year old) I had to have some work done and was visiting like twice a week for fillings and other stuff (can't remember what else) but it got too much ,constant needles/X-rays and numbing so I stopped going I've had abscesses,toothaches,broken teeth etc but was to scared to go back , ime now 37 years old so not been in about 20 years ,firstly through fear but now it's more embarrassment because of feh state my teeth are in and my bad breath , 14 year ago when I had my 5th child I developed an abscess on the roof Of my mouth , never went to get it sorted and it popped one day so I left it as the pain went away ,I've still got the abscess/lump although it's not painfull it does Leak every now and then and has an awful smell , ime more scared to go now as I've had it that long it might start somethin off ( blood poisoning ) or somethin else ,ime desperate to go dentist but I cancel my appointments 5 minutes before or make myself sick , can i see a specialist at a hospital or do I have to go to a dentist first , ime prepared for dentures also ime not working right now so i need a good NHS dentist , sorry for the big essay but I really do need help to get me started

 

[Spike 1969]

Hi and

Firstly, well done for having the courage to start looking at your dental issues, it's never easy to face these (very real) fears and anxieties.

First thing is that dentistry has moved on a long way in the last 10-20 years, most of the dentists are not the same as they were back then, it's very much a partnership thing and they are in the main non judgmental, professional people who provide excellent pain free treatment.

As far as being embarrassed is concerned, try not to worry (easy To say I know ) but believe me the dentist will have seen far worse, they are just concerned with sorting out what needs to be sorted so that you can get on without pain and worry.

if you are looking for an NHS dentist, a good start would be to try the NHS choices website, they have a postcode search facility and there are some reviews that often help to decide where you might like to try. It's important before or when you go to let the dentist know what worries you and hopefully they will be able to help with any fears you might have.

Hope all goes well, I'm sure you will be just fine, please keep us posted as to how you get on when you find your new dentist

kind regards

 

[Ihatedentistss]

I'm really sorry about your ordeal. Glad to have you here at the forums, though!

You should never be embarrassed about the condition of your teeth, nor should a dentist ever make you feel ashamed. They are there to help you and provide you with the necessary treatment available. However, I can understand the shame you might feel. It's never really been an issue for me myself too much, but that's probably because I'm too focused on everything else about the dental problems at hand! However, my mom is very much embarrassed about her teeth. I always tell her she shouldn't be ashamed. If only she believed me! I look at this way...the dentist is definitely not too ashamed to take my money! So why should I be ashamed to have them work on my mouth?

Make yourself that appointment-- you can do it! I'm sure if you do a little research you can find the right dentist for you. You may not like the first one or the second one or the third one you go to...keep trying until you find one that you are at least somewhat comfortable with. While nothing is more important than a dentist who does quality work (I learned this the hard way) it doesn't hurt for them to also be at least tolerable.

The fact that you are even looking to seek help itself is a foot in the right direction. Now just keep walking, you're almost there!

 

[Shaz77]

I'm really sorry about your ordeal. Glad to have you here at the forums, though!

You should never be embarrassed about the condition of your teeth, nor should a dentist ever make you feel ashamed. They are there to help you and provide you with the necessary treatment available. However, I can understand the shame you might feel. It's never really been an issue for me myself too much, but that's probably because I'm too focused on everything else about the dental problems at hand! However, my mom is very much embarrassed about her teeth. I always tell her she shouldn't be ashamed. If only she believed me! I look at this way...the dentist is definitely not too ashamed to take my money! So why should I be ashamed to have them work on my mouth?

Make yourself that appointment-- you can do it! I'm sure if you do a little research you can find the right dentist for you. You may not like the first one or the second one or the third one you go to...keep trying until you find one that you are at least somewhat comfortable with. While nothing is more important than a dentist who does quality work (I learned this the hard way) it doesn't hurt for them to also be at least tolerable.

The fact that you are even looking to seek help itself is a foot in the right direction. Now just keep walking, you're almost there!

Hi thank you for replying to me !!! my fear is mainly the abscess I got 14 year ago , it's still on the roof of my mouth it never gets painful and every few month it will leak and obviously has an awful smell , but then it fills back up again ,I might be bein silly but my mind is thinkin it could turn to cancer if I leave it but then ime thinkin if I leave it alone nothin will change and it will stay the same , if the dentist start prodding around now it could start somethin serious off , that's my main fear , Ime a mixture of fear/embarrassment and scared to death

 

[Shaz77]

Still can't make that appointment ,but I really do need them sorted ,, another worry ov mine what if I can't take to dentures , I feel like I would become a recluse as I hardly go out now , ime 36, would I be able to have the dentures screwed into my gums or is it just single implants ( can't afford them though)

 

[rob wain]

Hi Shaz,
I've read your post and whilst I can't claim to feel the same (I'm a dentist) I do understand and sympathise as I regularly see people in your situation.
I want you to know that you're not alone, lots of people get into your position, and that it's not your fault either. - I don't like heights, it's not a rational thing but that doesn't make it any less real.
Find a sympathetic dentist who can spend time with you. They will understand that your teeth are a result of your phobia and not a reflection of you as a person. They won't judge you.
Tough thing to do but making that first contact really is the hardest part and then you can start to make progress.
best of luck

 

[farmerjeanh]

One positive about your sensitivity-If a dentist is unprofessional enough to act judgmentally toward you then they are most likely not a very good dentist and you should find another. Prejudiced people make lousy doctors.